Grandmas love

I don't know why mother would make such a decree that's going to make my plan a little bit tighter I don't know how am I'm going to get someone's loyalty if I'm stuck in the palace. I need a way to build influence in the empire to be able to control a majority of the decision. Plus if my mother has to go as far as to in prison me in the palace we must have a lot of enemy.

Something must be keeping them from entering the palace that's why mom doesn't want me out of here. In my old world this would've been stupid because people can just bribe one of your less loyal soldier to get them in or just kill me without having to do a lot of effort but here theirs magic so my family as royalty must have a way to ensure their loyalty.

It may sound immature but I always wanted to be royalty some people might say the that is a girls dream but I always wanted to know how it feels to have power to command people literally since your born. I would think that makes you most of the time arrogant and I would see why.

My room or at least that where i think I am after my talk with mother it's beautiful and definitely luxurious the walls are painted royal purple with gold decoration near the celieng and the floor that almost look like the one in Versailles the palace of France. Versailles team continue in the cealieng decorated with beautiful art. Although I'm not an art cretic I can't denied it's beauty. My crib it's so soft the I wonder if they used some kind of magic to make it I'm definitely gonna sleep better here than my old world.

In my mind I know I'm thinking about the luxury of my room just to try to ignore the fact that my mom just made me live a life of isolation. Destined to be a lone like some kind of princess I'm waiting for my hero to come find me out of my loneliness.As if. Let's get real I was probably going to be very isolated anyway I have an adult mind what child will be able to keep a conversation with me.

I'm not being arrogant I'm just being realistic theirs no way a child can compare to an adult in term of their maturity and no matter how talented a child is they need time to be able to grow and develop. If I think about it my mother gave me a perfect opportunity now I don't have to find a reason as to why I'm a lone. When she ask I could be like what do you expect I don't know anyone of them since I couldn't leave the palace.

After a while of thinking about that I decided to start my training of gathering energy. Some people may call it a boring process to me it feels like If it's the first time drinking water in weeks and the energy it's the one thing quenching my thirst.

I finally realize something in this world their a lot of different magic like rituals, spells, enchantment but most importantly divanation. Some people may say I'm stupid for wanting to practice a magic that it's consider weak and a lot of the time ineffective but the main reason the one i try to hide it's that my grandmother of my past life could see the future or at least that what she said. she told me I had the gift and if I learned I was going to be one of the best. She never got to teach me that's where I started to see what's wrong with my other family members.

Although I had leukemia my life wasn't the worst until my treatment got more and more expensive my family got more and more annoy with my presence to my brother I was taking a chance away from him. The chance to go to college with the minimal work put in by himself since my family was in a very good financial situation enough to send him to college for free. You can really say my brother was a fucking lazy asshole that got all the love of my parent.

No matter how I tried to get their love or just their attention when I was younger they would brush me off and talk about Jona my brother got a c in his test and didn't get detention that week. In my mind I always thought it's that an achievement to be proud of when I got a perfect score when I've never being in trouble all the teacher say IM a perfect student so why not look at me, why not me, why not me, me, me

I soon found out it was really simple my parent hated me because I cost them money since I was born with leukemia something I didn't have the right to choose. For that they hated me I would understand if you let me for adoption when I ask they told me back them they could afford to have me since father if he deserve to be called that had a better job and the treatment was cheaper. My grandmother back them was the only one that really care about me my mom did feed me and didn't beat me but she never stoped it in my eyes she is as much to blame for condemn it but my grandma she fed me, bathe me as a child, let me sleep with her when I had a nightmare or just give me a hug when I was sad which was exactly what I needed those time.

Thinking about it helped and I have become more peaceful, after I calm myself and when back to gathering energy. Maybe this second chance will be very good for me to be able to discover and heal myself just maybe what happen what's not a mistake by god but instead a blessing