I'm reading about "Double Daddy," The lifetime movie where a teenage boy named Conner became the rape victim of a sober girl named Heather, who drugged him. That's called date rape.
The movie did not focus on his trauma, he said no to her, and she raped him, anyway. Everyone blamed him. Even a real-life journalist writing on the movie said, "Double Daddy tells the story of a teenage Lothario who manages to get not just his girlfriend, but also the girl he's cheating on her with pregnant. Then, instead of rightfully kicking their duplicitous BF's butt as he deserves, the two high school girls turn on one another."
Not even realizing this boy was drugged, he said no, and was out of it the entire time the Rape occurred. Some people call it a one-night stand and complain about having Conner held to no standard and call Heather the victim of slut shaming -- which was in the article "What Lisa Watched Last Night #130: Double Daddy (dir by Lee Friedlander)."
A lot of people don't even know it was Rape. At the movie's end, Heather tells Connor that she raped him. Heather knew that she had raped Connor, but Heather did not care. Heather deserves no sympathy.
The article: "LIFETIME'S 'DOUBLE DADDY' IS DISGUSTING, AND HERE'S WHY (TRIGGER WARNING: RAPE DISCUSSION)" Did an excellent job of saying WHY this portrayal of Connor is HARMFUL. It helped people not realize what happened, we only learn until the end, and even then, people act like it was consensual and like Connor is the problem. Many movies make light of Rape toward men, and some people think men get over Rape easier than women.
Men getting over Rape easier is not true. Men do not like it when you touch them inappropriately or force them into sex or anything like that. When a woman rapes a woman, the effects are the same as if a man raped her. Both are traumatizing. Men can be just as traumatized as women when being raped by a woman; how? Rape is Rape. Rape is the act of forcing sex onto an unwilling person. That's how. Rape feels awful.
When men get raped, the media will say that the men are LUCKY.
In movies, men do not grieve or mourn the Rape. Rape toward men is often played for laughs, whether in prison by other men or women. Prison Rape Female-on-male Rape is usually made fun of or glorified -- And it's the woman raping him. Hollywood promotes that.
When things like this are portrayed positively by Hollywood, the biggest movie chain ever, it will not only anger victims of Rape but makes it look okay to rape them because people have become trained to believe the men won't mind. The women don't know to leave the men alone, causing a situation where men can be attacked sexually and get little to no help. Police officers even told a mom that her son was not a rape victim of a female because they thought "Men can't get raped," And laughed at her.
The ability to laugh at teenage boys groomed by adult females, women grooming underage boys promoted by Hollywood, or the ability to laugh at a victim of date rape has been glossed over way too often.
It's ironic how people look at Rape as a terrible thing but gloss over it when it's a man raped by a girl. The stereotype was referenced on Wikipedia when I was figuring out why white men raped black women -- White men thought they could rape us black women because they thought we had the same sex drive as men.
It's not just a black thing, as we can see, because they only raped us like that because they thought we always wanted it. The implication is, "Men can't get raped because they always want it, and since black women do, too, we can rape them."
The stereotype implies that if someone raped a man, it'd be seen by people as him not being raped because society deemed the female victim to have always wanted it, which is the most faulty logic, considering he would not have said no if he wanted it. So his saying no clearly indicates he did not like nor want sex.
The idea that men always want sex is the worst stereotype of men -- People tell male victims that they are lucky for getting raped if someone does believe them, even if they were victimized at the age of five by their mother, laughed at if they admit to raping; some people laugh at the idea that a man can get raped,
The idea that men always want sex has perpetuated the notion that women cannot rape men.
It also claims that an attractive woman can't rape tempted men, but they can. If the man says no, even if he finds the woman attractive before he knows she'll rape him, it's still Rape. He does not want the encounter. If a man tempts me, but I repeatedly say, "NO, I DON'T want to have sex," because of my religion, That's still Rape if he forces sex onto me. I do not want it and will violently protest; it is no different from if I did not find him attractive.
I'm not saying rape victims find their rapists attractive, and all will see them as immediately unattractive if that man even attempts Rape. Instead, I'm trying to tell people that "Just because he found the woman attractive does not lessen the legitimacy of the Rape. If he is traumatized and telling her to stop, he never wanted it in the first place."
A man being attractive or a woman being beautiful does not make the Rape better, and it's still just as bad. If the man says no for any reason, it should be respected.
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