226. Chapter 226

After 47 Seconds, Yet Again.

By

UCSBdad

Disclaimer: I have 47 reasons for saying I don't own Castle. Rating: K Time: See above.

"What's the next case, Bailiff? Judge Markway asked, making himself comfortable on the bench.

"Castle vs. Castle." The bailiff responds.

Judge Markway shudders slightly, but recovers. "Counselors, are we ready to proceed? I'd like to get this over for once and for all, if I could."

Both attorneys nod, but Rick Castle speaks up. "You're damned right I want to get this over. You have no idea how hard it is to try to live with Ms. Eternal Walls over there."

Kate glances at Castle, but can't meet his stare, and turns away. Although she is not crying now, her eyes are red and puffy from crying before entering the court.

The judge glares at Castle. "Castle, I've been listening to you two fight in my courtroom for too damned long. Now can we get on with the proceedings?"

"I'm sorry, judge. But I've had to put up with years of lies, deception, her throwing herself at any man who came along, with the exception of me, of course. Not to mention she's been hiding behind a wall that would put the Himalayas to shame. Then there's her endless insecurities. If I do anything, anything at all, and I do mean anything, she runs. She should be a damned Olympic sprinter. Oh, and if I try to follow her when she runs away, she pushes me away. "I'm fine, Castle." He says in a high pitched voice, mimicking Kate.

"Castle, you know I've had problems." She manages to choke out.

"Oh, yes. The famous Beckett problems. And isn't it unfortunate that only Kate Beckett has any problems. I certainly can't have any problems, after all my mother wasn't murdered. Problems are reserved for Kate. Well, let me tell you, I've had years of problems with you and I've had all the problems from you that I can take. It's over. O-V-E-R!"

"Castle, please…" She began, before she started crying again.

"Really, Katherine!" Martha spoke up. "Do you really think that this hasn't been all your fault? What has my son failed to do for you? You took up with Demming, flaunting your relationship with him for the whole precinct to see, and Richard did the gentlemanly thing. He left so you could be with your chosen boyfriend. Then you change your mind at the very last second, and you have the nerve to say that my son broke your heart. Do you really expect anyone to believe that what happened is his fault?"

Kate shook her head. "Martha, I know I made a mistake. I know it. I just want to make things better. I know I can."

"How did you plan to make things better, Katherine?" Martha replied coldly. "By sleeping with that doctor? You seem to be able to open up those famous walls of your for just about everyone but Richard with no problems. I'm beginning to think that your so-called walls are just an excuse for you to get your own way."

"No." Kate said through her tears. "They're real. The walls are real. They were real."

"But you lie all the time, Detective Beckett." Alexis said. "Don't you?"

Kate shook her head. "Of course not. No one lies all the time."

"But you did lie to my dad for a year about hearing him say he loved you, didn't you? And when he finally told you again, you didn't want to hear it, did you?"

"Alexis, that was a very difficult time in my life."

Alexis shrugged. "I had a difficult time too. You had a mother who loved you. I had a mother who viewed me as an accessory to my dad's credit card. That hurts me, too. Not that you ever noticed. You were far too busy with your own problems."

Alexis gave Kate a withering glance. "You know, for a while there I thought I'd actually have a mother. I thought you'd be my mom. But that won't happen, will it?"

"I could be. I could be. If you'd only let me."

"We tried, sweetie." Lanie spoke up. "I told you over and over again to go talk to him. Tell him how you felt, try to work it out. And what did I get out of you? "It's complicated, Lanie." Well, it isn't complicated now, is it? You can have a nice, uncomplicated life, all by yourself."

"You blew it, Katie." Her father said. "I know just what you mom would have said: "I told you so." Everyone knew that Rick loved you. All you had to do was try. Just open up. But you just couldn't do that, could you?"

Kate was crying too hard to answer either her father or her best friend.

Judge Markway banged his gavel. "I can't take any more of this. The divorce is granted. Now will you people get out of my court?"

Rick stood, and a busty blonde, provocatively dressed and in her early twenties, rushed over to him. "Oh, Rickey, Sweetie! I'm going to make you so happy."

"No!" Kate screamed, sitting up in bed.

"Kate! What is it?" Rick said, sitting up and looking around.

Kate was breathing hard and was sweaty, a cold, clammy sweat. She wrapped her arms around Rick. "Hold me, Rick. Just hold me."

He took her in his arms and held her. "It's all right, Kate. It was a nightmare. You're okay. I'm right here and I always will be."

"Hold me and tell me you love me. I love you, Rick. I love you. I love you so much."

They lay there together for minutes telling each other that they loved the other.

"Do you want to get up?" Rick asked. "Have something to drink?"

"No. It's just the nightmare. It was horrible."

"What was it about? Your shooting? When I got exposed to that poison gas in DC? What?"

"No. I dreamed you were divorcing me. You and everyone else reminded me of all of the stupid, hurtful, nasty things I ever said to you. All of the lies I ever told you. All of the times I pushed you away. The men that I was with when I really loved you. It was awful."

He stroked her hair and kissed the top of her head. "And you know a divorce will never happen. Never. We are together, always, Kate. Always."

"I know that in my heart and in my mind, but there is still this little part of me that remembers everything I did to screw up our relationship. And I will always remember all of those things, like it was yesterday. I remember every nasty remark I ever made to you. I remember the lies. I remember pushing you away. I remember being with men who weren't you and would never mean as much to me as you did, but I was with them anyway. Even now, I feel like I was cheating on you with Josh and Demming. Like I should apologize to you and beg your forgiveness."

"Nothing to forgive. We've both made mistakes, but we're together. That's all that matters."

"I've been a mess since I was nineteen. Until you came along, I thought that was all I'd ever be. I thought I had to be that way. That if I was ever going to find my mom's killer, or find justice for all the other victims out there, that I had to be nothing but a detective. A machine for solving crimes. You showed me I was wrong. And look how I treated you. I never thought you could love someone like me. I never thought you could love me, but you do. You made me whole again."

"I don't know what I'd do if I did lose you. I don't know how I'd go on. Sometimes I feel like I just want to go over every day we were ever together and remember all of the things I did wrong and tell you how sorry I am. How much I want to make up for what I did to you. I want to show you how much I love you and need you."

"I know, Kate. I know, because I need you and love you just as much."

Kate relaxed in his arms. "We were in love with each other for years and we did nothing about it. I'm amazed you stayed with me."

"If you remember, I didn't. I did leave you. But I always came back. I'm here now."

"Thank you." She kissed him lightly.

"Mommy?" Said a sleepy voice. "Are you all right? I heard you yell."

Kate sat up and looked at the small form in the doorway. "Yes, Jo. I just had a bad dream. But Daddy is here and he'll take care of me. I'll be fine."

Jo walked over to the bed. "If you'd like, I can leave William Shakesbeare with you." She held up a small bear, dressed in an Elizabethan costume. "He keeps me company when I'm lonely or afraid." She held the bear out to Kate.

Kate patted William Shakesbeare on his furry head and thanked the little bear for all he had done for their daughter. "You go back to bed with William, now, Jo. Mommy will be fine with Daddy."

Jo said goodnight and walked back to her room with her faithful, furry companion.

"I guess both the Castle women have someone to care for them at night, then." Rick said.

"Yes, we do. Someone who will care for us always."