13. Chapter 13

Apologies people! I got sucked down the rabbit hole that is Fire Emblem: Three Houses. New fandoms can consume me as I deep dive into all the fanfictions already written and I haven't found a new fandom to go spelunking through in a while...

But anyways, here's the next chapter!

Enjoy!

Leia is very thankful that no one tries to stop her as she leads the three males trailing after her back to her quarters on the Raddus. Her mind is whirling with what she's just learned, and she's not entirely sure she can be polite at the moment.

It'd been painful to just listen, especially during the second half of the phantasmic story they'd just been told, but she'd been able to feel just how brittle her son and Rey were. How close they had been to fully shattering at any given point. They'd each had a breakdown during the telling, both for very good reason for all that it'd hurt to watch it occur. They'd been cleansing breakdowns, a release of pent up emotions that'd obviously been threatening to overflow for a very long time. That hadn't stopped her heart from being torn at seeing her son, her Ben, so jagged. She'd been soothed, somewhat, by Rey's immediate defense and care for him. She just wishes that she'd been able to do something as well. It's a price she's continuing to pay for giving her little boy up all those years ago.

The moment they're behind a closed door, Leia finally lets her expression fall when she drops into a chair. There are times where being the General of the Rebellion feels too demanding, and this is one of those instances. A ragged sigh drags its way out of her. She feels more weary than when she'd learned who her birth parents were.

Luke collapses onto the couch opposite of her, the picture of a defeated man. Later, she will inform him of just how unimpressed she is by what he did concerning her son and what he apparently did concerning Rey. However, right now that's not what any of them need. No, right now they just need to come to terms with what they've been told.

"I gotta say, that really wasn't what I was expecting to hear," Han mutters sarcastically as he and Chewie take the other couch. "Don't know what I did expect, but it wasn't that."

A bitter bark of laughter escapes Leia before she's able to stop it. "If any of us had considered that that was what we were going to be hearing, I'd be asking why you hadn't spoken up before now."

"This isn't supposed to be possible," Luke moans, scrubbing at his face. "Nothing I studied even hinted at the possibility. And while Ben and Rey have the ability to use the Force, Dameron and Finn don't."

"Actually, the boy Finn does," Obi-Wan calmly interjects, shimmering into view right behind Luke and making her brother whip around to stare wide-eyed at his former Master. "He only just came into said abilities on Exogol when he felt Rey die as their tentative bond abruptly broke. The pain of it subsequently made him suppress everything back down, but Rey and Ben fully intend to speak with him about it soon."

"Master, it still doesn't make any sense!"

"I suspect that it won't for a good long while, given that none of us have any idea as to what's going on either," the Jedi Master states primly.

One of Luke's eyebrows twitches, and Leia's almost certain that he wants to groan theatrically like he had often done in their youth. She wonders why he doesn't, they're behind closed doors now for a reason. Then she goes absolutely rigid in her seat when Anakin Skywalker appears mere moments later. She'd kept her peace during the meeting, because for some reason his presence had seemed to calm both Ben and Rey, but that doesn't mean she's anywhere near ready for him in her life.

"Well, the kids are asleep, finally," he gripes, stomping around the room in aggravation. "We all took turns singing that Alderaanian lullaby Ben likes so much to keep them calm. I swear, if I still had an actual throat, it'd be raw."

"And yet you are still talking," Obi-Wan drawls, while Han pipes up, "Wait a minute, you know Alderaanian lullabies?"

The look Anakin pins on Han makes it very clear that he's questioning the man's intelligence. "Of course I know Alderaanian lullabies, your wife sang them to Rey for fifty years. I might not be the most proficient singer, but even I can pick up a tune after that long."

Obi-Wan sighs as if the world is conspiring against him and he is the sole voice of reason left. It sounds very practiced to Leia's ears. "Padawan, they don't know about the fifty years. The princess wisely stopped the children when it became clear they were in no condition to coherently convey just what exactly happened on Exogol. That means the later years were not discussed."

This makes the man abruptly stop his pacing. "Kriffing hell."

"What's so special about these fifty years?" Han demands, "And what does that have to do with you learning Adleraanian lullabies?"

Anakin shrugs. "Nothing special, per say, but after Exogol, Rey wandered around the far reaches of the galaxy for the rest of her life. We never questioned her on why she was always moving, but we visited her often. We helped settle her nightmares whenever we could, which were frequent those first ten years, and quickly discovered that Alderaanian lullabies soothed her best." He shifts his weight from one foot to the other, a pensive expression settling on his face. "We often wondered if they were so effective because Ben was sleeping inside their broken bond, but we never brought that up with her for obvious reasons. In any case, once we discovered the lullabies, those of us who could sing worked with Leia until we could at least muddle through so she wasn't constantly needed."

"And I just taught you one of the few things that remain to me of my mother?" Leia asks sharply. "One of the few things that you haven't tainted?"

"Leia!" Luke hisses, but Anakin waves him off.

"No, you did not simply just teach me the lullabies. You took me to task for quite a long time before consenting to my learning them." He sighs heavily. "Much as you hated acknowledging it at first, you didn't get the vast majority of your stubborn streak from Bail or Breha. Regardless, there wasn't much I could do for you then, seeing as we were both already dead."

Leia doesn't quite know what to do about the fact that he doesn't appear upset with her. Instead there's a sad sort of understanding in his eyes that grates at her nerves, because he shouldn't be able to understand. Not this man who did monstrous things for monstrous people. And then, further confounding her, the titan and demon of her childhood nightmares kneels. He lowers himself to his knees so that when he looks at her again, he's looking up.

"I say these words in Basic only so you understand them, as they have truer meaning in my birth tongue," he murmurs. "Leia Amidala Skywalker, daughter of my body and my soul, I have grieved thee. I have grieved thee in ways I can never hope to repay. Were it possible, I would offer all of myself to you as penance, but I cannot."

"Father!"

"Lukka Ahnakeen Ekkreth!" Anakin barks and her brother abruptly shuts his mouth, wide-eyed and pale. Han's sharp intake of breath is worrying, but Leia continues to stare at the man who's gathering himself back up. "I cannot give you penance as you deserve," he repeats, voice a lilting rumble that from anyone else would be comforting. "However, I offer myself to you as I can. My voice be your voice. My will be your will."

"Father," Luke whispers, "why would you—?"

"Because your sister is owed this, Lukka," Anakin snaps. "You and I settled our grievances on the Death Star before I passed, and while I am thankful for that, the same does not apply to Lei-ah." Her name, accented in a way she's never heard before, resonates deeply in the very core of Leia's being. It is fiercer and stronger than she ever heard from the lips of an Alderaanian, and it scares her how much more it feels like her coming from him. "I took from her her home and her people. Tatooine and her people remain for you. Alderaan and her people are scattered across the galaxy because of my actions."

"Luke, what exactly is he offering?" Leia asks, proud that there's no disurable trembling in her voice. As much as she might despise the man, she recognizes that whatever it is that he's offering is significant and so won't brush it aside. She won't shame herself like that.

Her brother makes a pained noise in the back of his throat, but he answers her. "Skywalker is a slaveborn name on Tatooine," he says hoarsely. "I—we were the first freeborn to that name. To a slave, any form of freedom is something you cling to, be it word, deed, name, or anything else, and that's the culture Father was raised in. Most grievances between slaves were settled easily enough, as there wasn't much to go around to begin with and rarely did a slave seek to infringe on those few freedoms any of them had. However, in the instances that a truly horrendous act was committed, intentional or not, to truly repent a slave would offer themself to the offended party in every manner. It was on the honor of the grieved party to not truly treat their fellow slave as a slave for them. Sometimes, even just the offering alone was enough for the grievance to be forgiven with how much they valued freedom." His breath hitches. "Father's saying that, if he was still alive, that's what he'd be offering you. He's saying that he'd give all his freedom to you to do with as you wished. His life would be in your hands."

Anakin then bows his head to her, and it's terrifying in a way Leia never imagined possible. "As I cannot offer you that, I again offer what I can. My voice be your voice. My will be your will. I ask of you, Leia Amidala Skywalker, daughter of my body and my soul, do you accept what is freely given to thee?"

She wants to just say yes and be done with it. To have this man beholden unto her, no matter what Luke might say about honor. But then she remembers this man's defense of her son, how he seems to even understand the turmoil Ben is experiencing right now when it's still a mystery to her. She recalls what Rey had mentioned back on D'Qar, about how apparently he would scream himself hoarse trying to get Ben to hear him. And then she thinks of her parents, of Bail and Breha, and what they would think of this. "I cannot ever recall a time where I was this Leia Amidala Skywalker you're speaking to," she states flatly. "My brother might have claimed you as his father, but I have not. I don't know if I ever will because I don't know you. I don't know who you were, who you became, or who you are now. Your culture is not my culture, so I cannot fully appreciate the magnitude of what you offer me. Ask it of me again after you teach me who you were, who you became, and who you are now."

A smile that she's seen in the mirror a million times before spreads across Anakin's lips. "Fair enough. I accept your conditions." He gets to his feet again and his presence is no longer quite so intimidating. "Don't think, my son, that you will escape a lecture from me," he warns, fixing a solemn look on Luke. "The only reason you aren't getting it now is because I have something else planned for tonight before sending you all off to bed."

Leia blinks, tosses the phrase around in her mind a few times to make sure she heard him correctly, then indignantly asks, "Excuse me?"

Anakin actually rolls his eyes. "I didn't mean that literally. I just meant that staying up half the night thinking about what you just learned won't do you any favors. Sidious has sat out in the Unknown Regions for years now and considering he has to wait until those Star Destroyers are ready to deploy, you've got a year to prepare for that. Let yourselves rest tonight so you can be better prepared for tomorrow."

"Somewhere, Kix is crying because you never seemed to listen whenever he said similar to you," Obi-Wan bemusedly comments.

Anakin snorts. "Oh, like you were any better."

The Togruta from earlier appears again, and Leia finally recognizes her voice when she speaks. "Skyguy, they're getting impatient, and also, you were so much worse than Obi-Wan when it came to not listening to Kix."

"Fulcrum!" Leia exclaims in delight while Anakin pulls a face.

She gets a toothy grin in response. "You can call me Ahsoka, Leia, and I gotta admit, the fact that you're Skyguy's and Padme's daughter explains a lot."

"I feel like I've been insulted somehow," Anakin deadpans.

"You were," Ahsoka throws back gleefully. "She's almost Padme's spitting image with your temperament. I even remember you telling me after everything happened that you were the one who was certain that your kid was gonna be a girl, so the fact that you failed to see the truth about her when she was right under your nose for years is entertaining."

Anakin shakes his head. "Probably for the best. Even if I hadn't been inclined to try and turn either of my children, Sidious would've gleefully ripped the knowledge from me and done so anyways, along with pitting them against each other, like he tried doing with Ben and Rey." Then he turns to scowl at seemingly midair for no apparent reason. "No I'm not stalling! Just give me a minute!"

"Father?"

Leia's grateful that Luke appears just as confused as she feels, because Han's confusion won't be able to tell her anything given he can't use the Force like they can. She's also mildly surprised at how quiet Chewie's been, but then again none of them have directly addressed the Wookie since they all entered her quarters.

Anakin grimaces. "Right, so if you have questions for the three of us, they're going to have to wait a few days if you want to talk face to face. And fair warning, this isn't something we can do often." He sticks his hand off to the side, palm up.

Leia doesn't understand why both Obi-Wan and Ahsoka do the same, Ahsoka moving to stand side by side with Anakin while Obi-Wan stays near Luke. Then, a pressure she previously hadn't been aware of suddenly pops in her ears. She blinks rapidly when there are abruptly three more people in the room with them, all blue and glowing. Luke makes a wheezing sound like someone punched him in the gut, but she's too distracted by the sight of two people she thought she'd never see again standing before her to do anything about it. Leia shoots to her feet even as Breha Organa smiles widely at her.

"Mother?"

She reaches out, only to snatch her hand back at the last moment.

"Oh my darling girl, just look at you!"

Leia's not ashamed to admit that she feels very much like crying. Hearing her mother's voice, and not have it be via a prerecorded message, brings up all the emotions she'd felt when she'd had Ben only to end up burying them because there hadn't really been anyone she could talk to. At least, not as a daughter seeking advice from her mother. "I don't understand, how—?"

"Anakin has never really been one to follow the rules, living or departed," Bail says a touch dryly.

The former Sith, still holding Breha's hand, huffs indignantly. "You got a daughter out of my rule breaking, Organa."

Bail raises an eyebrow, and Leia's instantly reminded of how good her father had been as a Senator. That look alone cowed more than one opponent. "Anakin, while I will forever be grateful for the gift of Leia in my life, that doesn't mean there weren't days I wished it was you and Padme who had gotten the privilege of raising such an amazing daughter."

"Somehow, I imagine those days were when she displayed Skywalker stubbornness to the extreme," Anakin returns, voice as dry as Leia remembers Tatoonie being. "In any event, you did right by her and I could ask no more than that." Then he sighs and raises his voice only slightly. "You can touch them. They're not going to abruptly vanish on you."

And so Leia falls forward into her mother's waiting embrace. An arm wraps around her shoulders and a hand rests on the back of her neck and she's surrounded by her parents for the first time in thirty four years. A harsh sob tears its way out of her, dredging up all the emotions she's constantly been shoving down because there'd always been something else that needed her attention, be it her husband, her brother, her son, or most often, the galaxy. Another hand, a solid hand, touches the small of her back, and it's Han. Her husband, who's liable to scoff at anything pertaining to the Force on a good day, is now silently supporting her as best he can with nary a derogatory comment to be heard.

That, surprisingly enough, is what makes her able to gather herself back together.

Not because she thinks Han will mock her for this moment of weakness, but because he never got to meet two of the most important people from Leia's childhood. All he's ever had are Leia's stories and the holograms she managed to get ahold of. Now he can actually meet and talk with them, and it's a gift Leia never imagined experiencing.

When she pulls back and looks at him through tear-filled eyes, she finds his brow is furrowed in that way that means he wants to do something, but is at an utter loss as to what he should do. She saw it a lot those first few months with Ben before he became more confident in his abilities to be a father. When he reaches up to wipe a rough thumb across her cheek, she lets herself lean into the touch like she often had when they were younger. "I'll be okay," she tells him.

That gets her an unimpressed eyebrow from him. "If you say so." He jerks his head towards where her parents still stand. "Gonna introduce us?"

She rolls her eyes at him. As if she hadn't already been planning that. "Han, my mother Breha and my father Bail. Mother, Father, my husband Han." She feels it a bit redundant to offer last names as well.

"I have to say, while your husband isn't anything like the man I envisioned you one day marrying, I'm grateful that he ended up being just what you needed," Breha says softly.

Han, surprisingly, makes a pained noise as he gruffly says, "Wasn't always."

"Neither was Bail for me, nor I with him. You worked when you were together, and when it started to break, instead of hurting one another you went your separate ways. It takes a tremendous amount of strength to be able to do so, and for that I thank you."

"Mother," Leia says softly.

Breha pats her cheek, sending tingles down Leia's spine. "My darling Leia, Anakin is correct that you inherited the majority of your stubbornness from him, and you've witnessed first hand what the stubbornness of a Skywalker can accomplish in yourself, in your brother, in your son, and even in your father. It takes a strong person to agree to spend their life with such stubbornness, to be able to match it with their own, and your Han is one of the few who can. That doesn't make it any less tiring to do so on occasions."

"I feel like I should be apologizing," Anakin abruptly interjects, "because I'm remembering what an absolute heathen of a child I could be, at least when it was just Mom and I, and I'm sure I unfortunately passed that along to Luke and Leia both."

Bail chuckles. "While there were days that were a trial, they matched the stories of other parents we talked to, so you don't have to apologize to us."

"I wish you'd been with me when we were raising Ben," Leia says, voice catching slightly.

"Me as well, dearest, me as well, but you both did wonderfully," Breha assures her. "No parent is ever truly ready, we all just make it up as we go along."

Before anything else can be said, the sound of Luke's hitching sob has Leia's head snapping around to immediately find her brother. He's on his knees, wrapped around a woman who Leia only heard stories of. Their birth mother, Padme Amidala.

"Let it all out, Luke," she instructs gently but firmly. "Just let it out."

"She would've been an amazing mother," Bail softly says.

"There are some days that that's what I regret the most," Anakin comments just as quietly. "The fact that she was robbed of that opportunity. I sort of got the chance when I got Snips, but she was more of a little sister than a daughter."

Ahsoka reaches around both Bail and Breha to poke him on the arm. "The feeling was mutual, Skyguy."

"Clearly our kid got his dramatics from his uncle," Han grumbles.

Leia rolls her eyes but doesn't comment because she believes it's true only in the sense that she hopes she never was that dramatic when they were younger. She partially blames Han for the dramatics as well, but that's not something she's going to mention right now. She does find herself walking over to them before she even registers moving. She doesn't let that stop her, instead continuing forward until she can kneel beside her brother and lay a hand on his shoulder. He jerks at her touch, which she'd expected, but she doesn't pull away. She just stays there in silent support with him as he calms himself. When he has his breathing somewhat back under control, Leia slides her hand up into his hair and kneads. It's something she often did for Ben after a nightmare and it always seemed to settle him. Luke's shaky exhale as he slumps against her tells her that it does the same for him.

"I'm sorry, I—"

"Shh," Leia soothes him. "You don't need to apologize. There were days that I wondered if we didn't heep too much pressure on you. We were all so young and had just come through a war victorious." She sighs. "We made you shoulder the future of the Jedi all on your own and that was unfair. I've never blamed you for what happened, and one day I'll see to it that you feel the same. Until then, just know that I would've willingly welcomed you home at any point."

Luke briefly leans his head against her shoulder. "I was so afraid of failure that I ran rather confront it," he confesses hoarsely. "Rey was right about that."

Leia hums in the back of her throat but makes no further comment. Instead she just lets her brother steady himself against her as she's done time and time before. Then movement out of the corner of her eye has her attention snapping back onto the woman kneeling beside them.

"Let me look at you." Pamde reaches up a hand to trail her fingers over Leia's cheek, and she shivers at the phantom touch. "Oh, I named you well," the woman who she'd idolized all her youth murmurs proudly. "Very well indeed."

Luke leans in a hair closer. "Mother, did you know—?"

"I knew," Padme replies, even though Leia doesn't know what Luke's hinting at. "I wanted to honor both Ani and mine's cultures, as there was little else I could give either of you besides that. Together, you were what called my husband and your father back to the Light and back home. That your sister's name also had Aldeerian history was a happy accident."

Leia has always known that her name means beloved to those of Alderaan, and she's never doubted that, but she hadn't been aware that it had any significance in other cultures. She'd just always assumed that Breha and Bail had named her. "You named me?"

Padme smiles at her. "I did. I was pleased when Bail and Breha kept the name I gave you, as a name is one the greatest gifts a parent can give their child in my culture. In old Naboo, you are she who weaves a path while your brother is he who shines a light. I thought it a good way to guide Ani home again, should he ever think to look." Then she becomes solemn. "But I also knew that they would mean something to him as well for all that the rest of the galaxy might miss the significance. Your brother was the first trueborn Skywalker, and while I will never truly understand how much that means, I was determined to honor it. So my little Lukka was named for the freedom he would never have to earn, and you, my darling Lei-ah, you were named for the fierce protector Anakin always spoke of whenever I could coax stories from Tatoonie out of him." A tap to her nose startles her. "And he wanted you, Lei-ah. Oh, he would've been happy if our child was the boy I claimed we were having, but he very much wanted a little girl to call his own. I could think of no better tribute than what I gave you."

"It was perfect, Angel, absolutely perfect," Anakin says from behind them, voice thick with unnamed emotions.

Leia doesn't let herself think about it too hard. She's not ready to consider the demon of her childhood her father, let alone delve into the fact that he might've actually wanted her once upon a time. There have been too many surprises today as it is. And now she feels absolutely exhausted.

"I do believe our time's up," Obi-Wan says, speaking for the first time since before they gave Leia her parents back.

She jerks, making an aborted attempt to cling because she doesn't want them to go. But now that she's paying attention, both Obi-Wan and Ahsoka are showing faint signs of stress, and Padme and Bail are a fainter shade of blue than when they first arrived.

Padme touches her cheek again, then Luke's. "We will see each other again, children, and next time won't be as rushed. Until then, know that I have always loved you and that I am so proud of what you both accomplished." And then both she and Obi-Wan vanish.

Leia tips her head back when a hand brushes over her shoulder.

"As Padme said, next time won't be as short," Bail reaffirms, smiling warmly down at her. "This was a bit of a rushed endeavour on Anakin's part for us to see each other face to face. With more forewarning and planning, we will be able to talk for a couple of hours."

A smile spreads across Leia's lips at the idea.

Breha steps forward now. "Inform Rey that all the grandparents visited and she'll understand why Anakin, Ahsoka and Obi-Wan will not be available for the next day or so. She should be able to answer any questions you have as we visited her often during those fifty years she was alone."

Leia wonders briefly how long the idea that this unknown girl might know her family better than she does will startle her. However, it's a question for another day. Drinking in the sight of her parents one last time, she dips her head in acknowledgement. She's gifted with four smiles before all the Force ghosts are gone.

"Well," her husband drawls, "didn't expect that either."

And Leia finds herself dissolving into helpless laughter with her brother. Slightly hysterical laughter, but laughter all the same.

Edit: Because people asked, I'm borrowing bits and pieces of Tatoonie culture from Fialleril. They're stories are posted here on fanfiction but also over on AO3.