Chapter 1:

Solitude was said to be the best way in dealing with current matters, an order from my king. The man whom I have so admired for far too long, forces me now to change my perspective of him.

I am a servant, his little slave but hopefully not too long. I will rise one day and vindicate myself and those who are left to rot away in their silence. I will remain the stranger as I put down my thoughts. While he lie down to take his last breath he tells the story of his life to me his only confidant, servant as I am known to him.

One of his son's will soon take up the reigns as King. My king spoke the words that he is a man close to the very heart of his God. To understand the viewpoint of my King is to understand my existence.

"I know I have found favor by my Lord God but my sins as a father transferred to my children. I overlooked the inequity of my sons and have suffering by their deaths".

I have to listen to my King although every cell in my body wants to burst out of frustration how unfair this life could be that has befallen me.

'Blot out all my iniquities my God wash my sins as white as snow and let spare they wroth from my house'.

I dreamt of They Ark which you have requested my Son to build and be the sign that your loving kindness will be on my future generation too. I have sinned greatly and it now has passed over my sons. My weakness and failures with Bathesaba, the other wives and concubines, have stung me deeply.

I remembered too and I have to right myself because I can see the memories in the eyes of the king while he tells the story.

"Bringing the Ark back to the city has become my dream and I rejoiced that I David can honor my God by doing so. I started to dance with praise and my people rejoiced with me. Only to find my wife, Michal so disappointed in me. Her fury so visible and never hiding her contempt for me".

"You are a pathetic King and leader look how you make a fool out of me in front of your people dancing to a God you have never seen. What a great fool you are"!

"I could have gone straight to any concubine's but I chose to come home to her and her contempt. I was supposed to be the great leader in her eyes and there should not be another God above me which means that she will not be the 'greatest goddess'. With all the battles I have won and nations I have brought together I still remain a fool in her eyes. In fact I feel less than a man. Imagine the great David, who killed the Philistine Giant and overcame so much more. My only longing is for my wife to receive me after a long trip with open arms and not see me as a king the one she gained from. I remembered going to bed feeling restless and unworthy as a man. I am the great conqueror but a useless slave of bequest to the one who should show her appreciation, affection and affirmation of her love for me when we are alone.

I got up because I just needed to be alone after my wife's mocking and jealous ways that my God does not honor me, the way I him. "Because he asked the son of my adulteress according to her to build the temple for the Ark".

She is calling me weak because I never got cross with my Lord. Instead I praised him for his many blessing and grace which he continue to bestow upon me. Look I will soon anoint my Son as King. Who was ordained to build a temple for the ark? This too is grace to an undeserving servant. Anyway I made my way to my roof top and as I looked down the moon illuminated the perfect beautiful human.

I have never seen such beauty other than my daughter Tamar. I was at lost for words at that very moment. This woman was bathing and the perfection of her made me want something far more than I have ever before. I watched in awe and wonderment. My eyes have beheld something far more that my kingdom can behold. I just had to have her and send out my servants to find out after she has bathed and I was calmed. Although the overpowering need to possess never left me. They enquire and came back to inform me and I immediately summoned them to bring her to me. I was as nervous as could be as her master. Even though I felt then I had all the right to have her.

She told me of her marital status to one of my trustworthy generals but I did not want to hear about anything. I just wanted obedience and a woman to honor me for once. I ordered her to undress and come to me. She hesitantly came, begging me not to dishonour her because of her status. I know she had reason to bathed this late and for me to see her so her explanation meant nothing to me. In my mind she wanted the same thing. I identified the same need something to fill our forsaken loneliness. I was a very impatient man and took her while my good servant fought in battle.

I fell under the spell of Satan. For a moment Bathesaba made me feel good about myself and satisfy my desires. The love making that we shared was never of a woman that were not willing and that at least satisfied my guilt. I know that I was not alone in this knowing that she needed me too, I sometimes thought that this was not a coincidence us meeting.