Chapter 5 : A Warmed Heart

The next morning, Tian slowly made his way down to the living room with two large dark circles under his eyes to meet his guests and one more who was quite uninvited. These were two young men of very different styles sitting on the plush sofa. One was dressed in a suit and was very smart, a standard for Tay Chin. Tay smiled at Tian, who yawned like a brother and said gently, "Did you stay up last night?"

"Hi, Tay..." Tian raised his hand in greeting but didn't answer the question, he spent all night last night reading Miss Torfan's life diary, it was as good as a novel and almost fell asleep in the morning.

Tian looks over at another man dressed in a hipster outfit with a pierced nose and lips.

"How are you doing here?"

Tull smiled, "I drove over in a Hummer, my dad bought it new."

Tian felt a headache at Tull's words, sat down next to Tay, "You're coming this morning, why didn't you call me in advance?"

Tull looked at the doctor, smiled and said, "I wouldn't have known you'd changed your tastes if I hadn't sneaked in, so I came over this morning to check."

What a missing link! Still recuperating, Tian suddenly lifted his foot to serve Tull, Tay shook his head to stop him, "Forget it, Tian, I don't mind."

"But I mind, if I change my tastes, you're the first one I'll fuck! Tull!" Tian shouted his name in anger.

Now he didn't look cute, Tull couldn't smile when his shoulders were shaking, they'd known each other for a while but they were just friends who raced together, never interfered in each other's personal business, this was the first time they'd been to his house.

"I'm sorry..." Tull held up a hand, he didn't want to overwork Tian who had just had heart surgery." I'm just dropping in to see you, if you have a visitor, I'll leave."

"Wait..." Tian stood up and called out to Tay who was walking to the door, Tian rolled his eyes, as if he was thinking of an idea.

"Do me a favour, you wait for me at the door." and turned to the man he'd agreed to from the start "Phii Tay..." Tian said with a little hesitation.

"Want to go out with a friend? Tay laughed, because he was right." I can promise you that but you won't do anything your mother would worry about, will you?"

"Just going out to get something to eat." Didn't want to answer Tay's question any further.

"Then promise you won't be late, even if your mother calls to check up on you, don't lie."

Tian hurriedly took Tay's hand and promised." Yes, Phii, I'll be back in the evening, please make time to pick me up then."

And he knew he was sorry for the others, it was as if the familiar brother had returned. Tea rubbed Tian's head gently with her other hand, before Tian's hair got all mussed up and shook the softness out of it.

"Come back soon, I can take you home whenever you want, even if your mother gets home before you, so don't make excuses."

Tian nodded quickly and heavily before leaving, he saw Tull leaning against a large imported 4x4 pickup waiting for him. Tian said nothing, just opened the door and got in and turned on the music in the car.

Until the owner called out, "What are you doing? So where do you want me to take you?" Tull grumbled but got in and started the car anyway.

"Take me to Colliery Beach near Rama II."

"Why do you want to go to Rama II? Can't you go to Sukhumvit? There's a lot of good stuff there."

"You don't have to ask so many questions, drive your car." said Tian to his friend and then, a huge four-wheeled pick-up truck drove out of the beautiful villa.

Where he wants to go, if Tull takes him, he may have to sit down and answer a lot of questions but he doesn't know what to say yet.

Luckily, Tull was the one who gave him a lift today, he doesn't like to talk too much and isn't one to ask personal questions.

But it didn't seem to be what he thought it would be, after crossing the congested suspension bridge, Tull saw the man sitting next to him staring at the Google Maps on his phone, Tian was talking about the route from time to time. Although he didn't know what Tian was up to, he was sure he didn't really want him to take him to dinner.

"Turn left at the crossroads." Tian pointed to the crossroads in front of Tull, which showed a red light.

Tull followed Tian's instructions and drove down the alley, which was full of single houses with trees of all sizes, shaded by greenery. Tian's head swivelled around as if he was looking for something and although Tull didn't want to be nosy, he finally couldn't resist asking, "Whose house are you looking for?"

Tian's body trembled slightly, a suspicious response to the question: "The restaurant."

"I'm not stupid."

Tull's expression became complicated. Suddenly, Tian's eyes glance at a sign, "Hey! Tull, stop first." But by the time the big pickup came to a complete stop, it's already many metres from its destination, Tull turned to Tian who kept turning back: "Do you want me to back up? Which house?"

Tian looked at the dilapidated green iron fence, filled with large trees. The roof of the two-storey house peeks out from the brick wall. He slowly turned around with his head down, his eyes are full of confusion, he just wants to see, no need to interfere with other people's lives.

"What are you going to do?" Tull said.

"You don't need to know, just keep driving. Keep driving." said Tian back.

"You're fucking hard to please, what the hell do you want?" Tull frowned and then stepped on the gas and drove on.

Finally, they felt they really needed something to eat. The huge Hummer pulled up to a shop down the street, Tull lifted a Coke to quench his thirst, then slammed the bottom of the bottle on the table with a thud, the stainless-steel table made a big noise.

"I'm not going to ask, so you better tell me, what the hell are you doing making me drive around here."

"Don't be mad, I'll buy you dinner later if you're hungry." And then Tian changed the subject but wouldn't someone as cunning as Tull know that?

"You didn't answer the question directly."

"What's wrong?" He pretended to be angry to cover up the truth.

"Eh! You don't tell me, didn't you say you were going to buy me dinner, okay?" Tull turned back to the staff in the restaurant and shouted, "Pack me another 20 to take home."

Tian was relieved, if he could help Tull stop interrogating him, he'd be happy to order a hundred more.

Soon, a big, tasty pile of food was placed in front of them. The two hungry men could not resist the protests of their stomachs.

"Brother, do you want to buy key chains?" Suddenly, a small voice rang out, interrupting their meal. Tian looked at the dirty face of the skinny boy, his black lips trying to force himself to grin with his teeth showing and in his rough hands he held the key chain of a doll made of knitted silk, very cheap.

"Twenty for one, fifty for three, brother, please buy some for me." the words fell with a plea, the round eyes were dry and hopeless, this should not be in the eyes of a child under ten years old.

"No need, brother you should go to another table!" Tull said, waving his hand, as if it was normal.

"Brother, just a little help to buy a bunch..."

"I said no, don't ask again!" Tull shouted angrily at the boy who had asked them to spend some money on something.

Tian looked at his friend's grim expression, turned to see the boy in his ragged clothes rushing to the next table in search of a new target but soon the child was chased away as before.

Tian sees the boy walking out of the shop, he has a strange feeling, it's hard to describe, he wants to pay to help him but he's afraid his friend will think it's strange, because in the past, he would have shouted at the inferior people like everyone else.

But now he can only sit quietly. ...Tian settled his spoon and fork to show that he has had enough, even though there is still half of the food left on his plate. He sips from his straw, waiting for the person across the table who is still eating quietly. He looks out and sees an unusual movement!

The small child selling key chains was being pulled by a chubby woman, strong hands pounding against a thin body.

"When I did something to displease my aunt, I was often beaten by her with a coat hanger, it was a new hell, after my drunken father slapped my mother, my mother left home when I was seven, leaving me alone to face this cruel fate."

Tian suddenly stood up, the legs of the stainless-steel chair made a loud noise against the concrete slab floor, as Torfan's diary recounts, conveying that she was asking for someone's forgiveness and mercy and Tian ran away from the crowd who were still in shock, including Tull who was still eating.

"Ai Tian! Tull stood up in shock, scrambling, although he couldn't do anything for a while but when he came to his senses, he took a few bank-notes out and put them on the table and chased him out.

"What the hell are you doing!" Tull cursed like a nervous man.

The brutal beating of children by their mothers was commonplace in society, Tian looked around, no one was willing to help the child, only someone like him, living in another world was brave enough to jump in and interrupt them.

"Sister, that's enough! The child is hurt." He used his hands to separate the mother from the child.

The young woman, not much older than he was, looked at Tian with an unfriendly look "What do you care, my child, I can beat him to death."

The son cried out when he heard these words, it felt like his ears were pierced. The mother still tried to grab the child's bruised arm, no one else should be meddling in the first place.

"What did he do, you want to do this to him? Tian asked incomprehensibly, while enduring the pain of being beaten by this madwoman.

"He hasn't sold anything all day; how can he eat today? I have to pay for his brother's milk powder, the whole family is going to starve!" She screamed out loud, while raising her hands and hitting Tian's chest in front of her.

Tian flinches in pain, sweat dripping from his forehead, breathing heavily.

"Hey! What are you doing, Tian! Tull speaks rudely to the child and the woman like a prince on a white horse, taking Tian by the shoulders." How are you?" Tull asked worriedly, "I'm OK. Tian withdrew from Tull's arms, walked up to the woman and her child, she now backed away with fearful eyes.

Tian's brown eyes look at the nervous woman, squeezing out her voice with all her might, "All you want is money, right?

"Yes, you're asking to give me money..."

"If I give it to you, will you stop beating him?"

"If he can make money, I will stop." she replied, while poking the child's thin shoulders with her hands, as if the child were a lifeless cargo. The child began to sob again with pain in its mouth.

"Pay today and stop beating, will there be no more beating tomorrow?" When can this vicious circle be stopped. Tian took a deep breath, pulled out a few thousand notes from his expensive wallet and crumpled them up in his slender hands, throwing the money on the floor in front of the mother and child like a piece of rubbish.

"Take it, if you know what to do with it, you won't have to send your children to be street hawkers for a long time." If you know how to use it well, it will turn into many 1000s.

But the person never thought of that, the mother quickly grabbed the money, as if she was afraid that someone would come for it. She thought the man was a real idiot, although it was easy to understand and thank him. But it made her think...

the more fragile and poor the child, the more heart-breaking it is, she was about to make a fortune.

The woman had a disgusting smile on her face, which made Tian feel sick. She quickly drags the child away, all the while shouting at the child who stubbornly refused to go along without even looking at or being grateful to the person who gave her the money.

Tull witnesses this madness, bewildered, slowly turned to Tian who has been standing still with clenched fists and gritted teeth, as if he is on the verge of exploding, Tull is about to speak, Tian interrupts "Is money really that important?"

"Well..." Tull was dumbfounded for a moment, raising his hands to scratch his head, messing up his hair he replied honestly: "Of course it is, if it wasn't we wouldn't be so comfortable but without the money, we'd probably be in the same situation as that little boy right now."

"Is that so," said Tian gently.

One does not choose one's birth but one can choose one's path in life. Yes, it's been said but now he finds out that some people don't even get to choose.

Right? That's where the term "lack of opportunity." came from.

Fortunately for Torfan, there are municipal schools in other provinces and when she moved at low cost to the temple school near the place, she could see the wider world in education, which is probably why she wanted to give this slim chance to children in remote rural areas who don't even have access to electricity.

Tian was staring at her mouth, as if trying to make a final decision, those striking brown eyes staring steadfastly at Tull, it's creepy.

"Take me back for a second.

Tull is confused: "Huh?"

"Go back to the alley where you were driving."

"Now I know where I want to go."

The Hummer is thrown into the alley, the same alley but this time with a clear objective.

Tull turns off the engine and stops in front of the fence of the old green house, it looks ordinary but interestingly, there is a clearly marked wooden sign in front 'Saengthong Foundation Tull suddenly turned around and looked at his friends standing together, Foundation! is a place that doesn't fit in at all with members of racing gangs like theirs and now begins to wonder if the doctor's operation was a heart or brain replacement?

"You go home, I've got some work to do. I've got some business to attend to," Tian said, because he doesn't want anyone to be suspicious of this.

But before Tian pushed the door open and entered, Tull continued: "Miss Torfan is a volunteer teacher for the Saengthong Foundation, isn't she?"

Tian suddenly stopped and turned around with a serious face, "Have you seen it?"

"I couldn't resist, you were looking for a record of a woman who was killed by Wisanu's car but couldn't figure it out, what does that woman have to do with you, unless... Tull smiled like a fox and put his face close to Tian's, "That Miss Torfan is Your lover."

Tian frowned, eyes unblinking as he stared at Tull, discontent spread. He slapped his hand on Tull's left breast, emotionally.

"She is my life." He doesn't care if Tull understands this, he immediately pushed open the old barred door and walked into the charity's office, leaving Tull standing there with a blank look on his face.

Walking along the tree-lined concrete streets, the branches of the trees are decorated with pendants woven from pieces of plastic bottles and when the wind blows, they make a loud sound, tinkling bells and sound peaceful. Although you may not believe it's a foundation, in fact the back of the house is the office of the person in charge here. A simple office has been transformed underneath the house and inside there is a room for a collection of crayon illustrations, drawn from the work of generations of volunteer teachers and students, including pictures of the Foundation's activities in collaboration with various organisations.

Tian walked into the office and looked around, strangely there was no one there but the door was unlocked?

"Excuse me, is anyone there?" he tried to shout.

"Usually there is but today is a public holiday, no one will be here." A low voice that sounded like the managers with a hint of sternness rang out in the silence, startling Tian.

"Looks like I might be in the wrong place today." Tian laughed heatedly to ease the embarrassment." I'll be back." And he's ready to get out of here.

Damn! He'd rested so long that he'd forgotten day and night and calendar holidays. So Phii Tay said he took a long break because it was a public holiday.

A chubby man of retirement age, wearing a faded ink blue shirt, looked at a young man in a fine outfit and asked "What are you doing here at the Foundation?"

"I'm..." When Tian saw the confused look in the man's eyes, he swallowed hard and then made up his mind: "I want to apply to be a volunteer teacher."

The old man raised his eyebrows in surprise when he heard an unexpected answer from the young man who looked like a rich kid.

"Follow me." At the end of the sentence, the older staff member led him to an office with a sign posted in front of it that Mr. Winai Saengthong was "In charge"

Tian slowly sat down at the desk that belonged to Mr. Winai opposite, while he was stared at by Mr Winai for a moment and then said softly "Do I need to write an application form first?"

Mr Winai sighed and leaned back in a more comfortable position." Now I want to explain it to you again, in case you don't understand what a volunteer teacher is."

The teacher Tian's lips tightly shut, knowing full well that he must think he was just having fun. Just as he opened his mouth to argue, Mr Winai raised his hand to stop him

"Here, if you think you understand well, answer me a question, what did the volunteer teacher bring?"

"Hmmm. Tian has nothing to say, he is being interviewed for a job, right?" I can teach them anything, I can teach English, I'm even better at maths and physics, because I studied engineering."

"I mean, you yourself."

Winai smiled softly when he saw the difficult expression on Tian's face sitting opposite him, many people like to experience new things in life and don't even understand what volunteering is really about.

"The word 'volunteer' implies sacrifice to do something for others, you may be excited to go to a new place, meet lots of people, eat exotic food but you will get tired of being physically tired and end up packing up and going home without being able to answer for all the time you have wasted on this What do you want to get out of it? "

Tian's shoulders are bowed and his head is bowed as if he is thinking about something. A myriad of thoughts and feelings pounded through his brain until tears filled his eyes, because he could not put them into words.

Phii Winai heard a hoarse voice say softly, "I don't know anything."

He tried to relax his breathing and finally, as if relieved, his red eyes locked with Phii Winai's.

"I don't understand what you mean by sacrifice but... If sacrifice can show me what happiness is, I am willing to try to find it.

Aren't you going to try to find it some other way? Volunteers have to make huge sacrifices. A volunteer teacher is not like a regular teacher, it's difficult. You don't know what to do for others now, how can I feel comfortable sending you off into the woods far up in the mountains?"

"But I have faith!" Tian hastily exclaimed, "If I go there, I will give myself an answer and I will come back to answer your questions.

Teacher Winai shook his head wearily at his stubbornness, "What is your name... Young man?"

"Tian"

Tian, meaning wise man, scientist, a name that does not suit such a young man." Tell me this, you tell me, where do you want to go?" The old man asked kindly "Phabandao--" he answered without hesitation, as if his mind was already made up, which made Mr Winai even more suspicious -

"Chiangrai border?" Teacher Winai said in an amused tone: "There is nothing there, no electricity, no water, even though you are a man but you have not experienced such a hard life, I say if you just want to try teaching, wouldn't it be better to be in a better equipped town with better surroundings?"

Being told that you can't survive there, Tian retorted: "If it's really bad, why would a woman like Torfan survive there?"

"You--" the old man groaned deeply, as if catching something, "Do you know Torfan?"

Out of line! Tian wanted to protect his head and hastily defended himself, "I'm a friend of a friend of a relative..."

But the more Tian said, the more he wanted to strangle himself, because he saw that Mr. Winai didn't believe what he was saying.

Mr. Winai interrupted him, "Torfan had a strong conviction, she went there because she was confused but soon she couldn't stand it as much as the others and came back within a few weeks." He was saying that, after the girl died in an accident, another volunteer teacher also went to Phabandao but left because no one could last three months at all.

"I don't know how to make you believe it but I really wanted to go there." said Tian, beginning to feel desperate, because whatever he said, Teacher Winai would object.

"You say you want to be a volunteer teacher, you have to be prepared to teach all ages, I don't think that's an easy task. Besides, we ask all teachers to stay at the place until the end of the term. I think you might be learning now, how are you going to go?"

This is probably the most important condition, rather than just saying whether or not they can survive, Tian felt embarrassed when this is mentioned, he may have to tell the truth.

"I took a break from school, for family reasons, so time was not an issue." But that's not all.

Teacher Winai looked at the handsome Korean-looking guy in front of him and his heart went soft, no matter how much he tried to talk him out of it but it seems to be completely ineffective.

Finally, Phii Winai concedes.

"OK, I agree to let you go there, just the right person for the job, I hope that if you don't get any answers this time, at least you will learn something, teach them what they don't have but we do and learn what they have but we don't.

Teacher Winai saw the frown on his face, he understood that he did not understand what he was saying, so he gently reassured him: "Don't think too much, you will understand when you go there."

Tian nodded, as long as he was allowed to go, let him say what he wanted to say, he didn't care.

"And then what should I do?"

Mr Winai picked up the application form and gave it to Tian to fill in and said, "When the paperwork is ready, I'll get the admin staff to contact you again. Phabandao has a military camp near the border, it is guarded..."

"Thank you." Tian hurriedly picked up his pen and registered, as if he was afraid that Mr. Winai might change his mind.

Tian walked out of the Saengthong Foundation office excited, happy to have achieved his goal for the day but he wonders if this is a decision to follow someone else's dream, or an impatient attempt to break the rules of self-restraint?

Tian suddenly stopped in his tracks, confusion in his eyes, his long, thin palms gradually lifted and clench and unclench, what's done is done, he's probably crazy to want to be a hero who helps others.

But these hands, which had only ever hurt himself and those around them, could they really do anything for others?

Tian shook his head to chase away the hesitant thoughts in his head and made up his mind. A man's word is his word and like him, he shouldn't be cowardly anymore.

As he stepped outside the old green fence, Tian was surprised to find a large Hummer parked in front of him, he looked down at the car with the engine running, Tull was lying in it playing with his phone.

His slender hand rose, tapped on the black film glass window, Tull, sitting in the car, jumped up, lowered the window. "So slow?"

"Why aren't you back yet?"

"Well, I saw you give all the money to the mother and son, how are you going to get home." replied Tian with a very surprised raised eyebrow: "Since when have you been so kind?" But he probably forgot, he had a mobile phone to call a taxi or a family car to come and pick him up.

"Stop it, get in the car! Tull urged.

Tian shrugged as if he didn't care, then opened the door and sat on the other side. As the car pulled out, all was silent, except for the soft sound of rock music on the radio.

"Are you done? Tull said suddenly. But it's painful for the person sitting next to him, it's a stupid thing to continue the conversation, isn't it?

"Why am I going out before I'm done, why do you ask such strange questions? Tell me what you want to ask--" said Tian sullenly.

"Yeah, yeah, I'll get to the point." Tull let out a long breath, as if letting out a pent-up emotion." Miss Torfan is an organ donor and you are a registered recipient. If she doesn't die, then you bloody well might! What kind of perfect coincidence is that?"

Tian's eyes widened and he stared at Tull and said, "So you're waiting for me while you investigate this and then you talk to me now, right?!"

"Hey, just calm down." Tull knows he shouldn't interfere in his personal business. But in this case, he thought his friend was almost crazy." I don't know how you know how much the donor knows about this woman. It's just that you're replacing the 'heart', not the brain. It has no memory. So, you don't have to replace Torfan's life."

Not true! Tian tried to argue, biting his lip and tried to give up a few times. But if the heart really had no memory, then why did his heart beat so violently when he saw the picture of the soldier.

He closed his eyes, calmed himself down and said in a calm and collected tone "I have already thought it out, even if you know what it is, please don't interrupt my plan."

Tull became irritated at dissuading his friend, "If I'm not mistaken, you've come here to apply for a volunteer teacher on the hill because you're following Torfan steps."

Tian had no reason to retort, shut up and nod in silent acceptance. Then a long grumble was heard.

"Why don't you go buy a lottery ticket and give the winning to them? Why do you follow her? There's a world of difference between you. I can't figure out why you choose to sleep outside, eat on the beach, and teach mountain children to read."

"At least I've been through military camp."

"Still arguing. What the hell! Do you think your mother will let you go? Or do you want to leave a letter and run away from home?"

Tian turned to me, eyes aglow, "Good idea. My mother might not approve of me, the only way is to run away."

Come on! Tull raised his hand to hit him, then shook his head, "If you do that, your father will use the army to find you even if he has to dig up the ground."

"Then you can help me too." laughed Tian, rubbing his head which was still sore.

"Dream on, I don't want to help the enemy, if you really want to go, find your own way, I won't interfere."

"If you don't help, don't help, whatever you do, don't tell anyone." Tian was happy to see Tull reluctantly agree, at least Tull was a man of his word, which meant no one could pry it out of him.

The Humvee turned onto the highway, back into the traffic jam of the city again. They stop at a shopping centre to look at things in a skimpy dress until the evening, when Tian calls Tay, who is about to become a doctor and asks him to take him home, not a word about the day's events.

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