A Different Kind of Misery

William pretends to think for a moment. He puts his hand to his chin and scratches his stubble that he likes to call a beard. He looks off into the distance pulling on to her emotions as he shrugs, "I guess I can take you into my wings and show you the way."

Winter rolls her eyes and catches up to him, "Now. Where is this place that is full of food for me to eat?"

"Right this way, my lady," he dramatically stretches his arms out pointing to the road ahead of them. She starts by walking at a fast pace in order to lead the two of them in their journey, but he seems to walk extra slow and the gap between the two widens.

"Are you coming? We don't have all day," she raises her eyebrow.

"On the contrary. We do." she sighs and slows down so the two of them are side by side, "are you finally going to reveal this mysterious name of yours?"

"Winter."

"Winter? Come on!" he groans, "I gave you my first, middle, and last name and I get a season. Not that I could have expected anything different"

"Ha. Ha." she sarcastically laughs, "you... could... earn more... in a year or two"

He laughs, and she can not hold in hers either. There seemed to be a moment where she felt like she was just a girl, and he was just a guy. Like before. This thought seemed to bring her back to reality and she straightened her posture and face, "What are you thinking about, Winter?"

"Just. Life," she makes a sudden decision to trust him. She had been trying to stop herself. She could not have this happen to her again. No matter how hard she tried, his laugh was so contagious and his smile brings a needed warmth to her empty soul. She explains, "Life before this. Life when I wasn't fighting to find a piece of bread. When I could let myself talk and laugh with guys like you. When I could let go. Don't get me wrong. Life then was still a struggle, but it was different. It was lighter, brighter, kinder. For me at least. It was just a different kind of misery. This is a new type of miserable."

"I get what you mean," he sighs, "You don't realize who you were and what you had until it all changes. It went from finical struggles to safety issues. Then, I was scared that I would lose my house, my food, but now I am scared that I will be found out, that I won't have a place to go back to."

Winter didn't realize that William really understood her pain. Of course, she knew that he had struggled. In the past two years, any American either died or went into hiding. But. William wasn't like anyone she met recently. He was kind and playful. He still had a touch of innocence left in him unlike her. Take a minute. That is what she told herself every day. She gave herself a minute to pity herself, to cry for her friends, her family, but she knew that crying would help her in no way, so she gave herself only a minute.

"And this is it," after what felt like an hour of talking with William, they arrived at a warehouse looking building. William knocked on the door in a special type of pattern which Winter assumed was the password to recognize that he was one of their own. She felt like she was intruding on something that wasn't meant for her. She took a deep breath, and the door opened a creak. The person inside noticed William and smiled.

"William! You were gone longer than usual! We were starting to worry, but I see what took you forever," the girl standing in the doorway glanced at Winter with a tang of disgust. Winter didn't know whether to shy away from her or to return the look. Winter decided to look down shyly.

"This is a girl I met today in the alleyway. Her name is Winter"

"Winter..."

"Just Winter apparently," William chuckles at their chat from earlier.