John or Joseph

John the name of Ana's best friend. There's nothing much I know about him. All I know is on the two times Ana and I met John was always the one she contacts to take her home. But are they really just best friends or something more than that. Here it comes again my pointless overthinking that will lead me no where. My imagination who's going wilf from all the possibilities that would lead me more to think. Even so I'm kind of ok. Because before Ana and I parted ways the last time. She invited me to this event at the plaza. I dont know what it is about. But I'm still going. Yet I cant stop thinking. That what if I go and Ana is with John. Am I going to be a third wheel or the other way around. Well this is just me being presumptuous.

Days passed and it was the day of the event. This was the first time in a long while that I wanted to actually look good and dress up a little bit. That's why before this event I kind of stayed up to late thinking of what to wear. It was a rare sight for me because I dont usually do it. What urge me to dress up is a reason that I don't know yet I know. Confusing right yeah my mind is all over the place now. Wondering what will happen. How will I interact with the many people at that plaza. My social anxiety is acting up a bit. There are moments on that day in which I wanted to back out. To just not attend. Because maybe as usual Ana forgets me. As I was planning to just go home. I bumped into her. She couldn't remember my name but she remember my poem.

"Hey its you again that remember me guy from last time?"

First I didn't quite guess what she meant by that. Then I remembered the poem I made for her. But she doesn't know it was actually for her. Because I didn't said anything about it.

"Uhm yes its me hi again Ana. Glad you remembered me" I said happily

"Yes of course. But still dont quite remember what's your name again?" She said with an awkward smile on her face

"It's fine. Again Hi I'm Joseph"

"Oh yes Joseph glad you can make it."

I wanted to have some solo time with her. Yeah there might be an event going on but it'd make me the happiest if she sticked by me. There's only one problem with that someone came and ruined what I want. John came into the scene

"Oh hey its you again Joseph right?" John said with a smile on his face.

Well it kinds of suck because Ana dont remembers my name but this guy does.

"Yeah hi again"

"So why are you here anyways?"

"Ana invited me she says there's an event here today is that right?"

"Oh yes there is glad you came anyways why dont you explore the place for now and me and Ana got some tuings to do and we'll be get back to you in a moment"

There's something about this guy. He's nice I have to admit. But he is giving me hostile vibes. Or maybe this is me being paranoid. My social anxiety wasn't triggered by him. But still I wasn't that focus on him. I was focusing on Ana who sadly gone with John and left me here wondering what to do. That's why I just went into the corner and sat there. What else am I supposed to do. Dont really know whats going on here right now so I'll just sit here for now. Everyone seems to be a happy on this event. Most of the people here are kids playing and enjoying their time. After a few moments it happened something caught my attention. A familiar voice. Ana's voice. She was standing in the stage. Then the music started.

All of sudden. Ana sang then even there are so many people here. In my mind it was just me and here. She was singing for me. Every word she was singing is speaking into my heart. Then for a moment my whole world gain colored. I dont want to look like a weirdo. That's why I stopped my tears that was coming. All I did afterwards was applaud and smile. As I became captivated and mesmerized by her singing. After her performance she was at my front asking me.

"Hey haha was I good"

I wanted to say she was amazing. And all the feelings I have right now. But I was afraid. So I just noded and said

"Yes you were wonderful"

"Haha thanks dont mention it"

We we're having a really good moment jyst right about now. Yet John ruined it.

"Hey did I sound great up there?" He said boisterously

I kind of didn't realize John was also on stage performing as a gitarist. I didn't want to be rude so I just said

"Yes" only one word to reply. I was so focused on Ana I didn't care about what instruments are playing or who is playing them.

Seeing Ana sing and perform was the highlight of this day. That moment of hearing her voice speak to me. Made me happy yet she doesn't know it. But yeah right now I'm at my happiest. I again see her in another light and view. The moment she stood upon that stage will be something I'll surely remember forever. When the performance was done. The program started. That's when I knew what was the event was for. It's a program with people with short term memory problems. I kind of a belonged in a way. For having hyperthymesia but none of them no that. Different ages of people where here. People who's diagnosed with different kinds of disorder and problems related to memory. At first I didn't realize it. I thought Ana was here cause of her kindness. Then I remember how forgetful she is. But yet I was afraid to ask her. And John was with her all the time. While I sit in the corner afraid to participate with them. Until Ana did something. Unexpected and made me want to puke my heart out from the anxiety and fear I was feeling. She went up stage and said

"Well before this event is over I want you all to meet one of my friends who I think can recite a poem for us. Joseph come up here"

I said to self "what the heck I'm not prepared for this "

I dont really want to go up stage but Ana grabbed my hand and dragged me up there to perform. In which I'm not prepared for nor I want to. But I had no choice. I'm already standing on stage. Shaking in fright. Feeling my anxiety. Not being able to breathe right. Until I saw her. In front of the stage. As I read her lips she was saying

"Go on you can do it"

Those few words was all I needed. Then I decided to do it again. To dedicate something for her without the crowd ever knowing nor her.

"Memory

As I stand here

Feeling anxiety and fear

I hope you can hear

This is for a someone who I hold dear

You sometimes are a klutz still thats cool

There are moments when you act like a fool

But to me you always rule

You maybe forgetful

But still I'm hoping

And was kind of wondering

That maybe I can be something

A special part you dont want missing

You always make me happy

That's why I was thinking maybe

That a person like me

Can be part of your life and memory...

All I want is to remembered by her. Well this is all I can think of right now."

Then everyone applauded. I didn't care if they liked what they heard. Because as I stand on stage. There was only one person. I wanted to reach. And that's Ana the moody girl who I can't quite get. Still she is starting to give my life color and happiness. Something that I didn't know in a long while. That's why I hope in the next time we meet she'll remember me.

As I go down on stage. Ana approached me and said

"Good job another great poem"

That's all the praise I need. But I hope it reached her. From her reaction. It seem has not. Still that's good enough for me being praised by the girl who is making me happy. John once again interfered and wanted to talk to me. He asked me a weird question out of no where.

"Hey let's talk about something"

"What is it?"

"You like Ana dont you?"

A question out of no where. I didn't answered though.

"Its fine I also like Ana in a long while now. But she always forget the moment I confessed. You see Ana got into an accident when she was a kid. Cause of it she gained short term memory loss. She cant retain new memories. You're lucky she remembers you somehow from what she writes in her journal. But really Ana forgets. His short term memory loss is unpredictable."

As John explains Ana's story I didn't want to believe him but I got no choice. Because it is the truth even I dont want it. My mind got blank and the next thing I new we were front of Ana then John asked Ana

"Hey Ana we both like you me and him. Which one of us do you like. Me John or Joseph?"