Fantasy. An imaginary concept born out of the depravity of one's sane mind. The pressure mounting in their lives from family forcing the conscious to form, a kind of escapism. Society loves to mock it however, even then under the shadowy branches of the human conscious shows their attraction towards it. But if anyone truly believes it then society itself forever brands them.
'Neet' 'Pervert' 'Psycopath' 'Delusional' as if they were a part of an insane asylum. The truth may be harsh but the unconscious mind starts to term others this way to make a sense of their inner psyche fundamentally ignoring the real problem of this mess of a society. A cognitive mind cannot remain sane under mounting pressure.
Forcing them more than what they can take. That's why Hikigaya Hachiman will never conform to other's will, even if his image remained painted akin to barbed thorns still he would stand his ground.
In the end, he forever will be the scum of the world.
...
Few days have passed, the place he finds himself in is the city of Orario. The streets filled pickpocketers, thieves, and beggars with no place to go.
Even though he received the goddess's miracle the prospect of entering the dangerous dungeons of Orario still crippled him in fear. So, he walked and walked with no provision, Hachiman resorted to begging in order to hide among the fabled crowds of heroes and gods.
Again, the fact will always stand, even now, at his lowest, there was not a single hint of shame present in the youth. Just the faint sense of remorse of seeing bodies after bodies coming out of those dungeons.
Each speaking its own tale. A tragedy in making.
In the end, He begged not because of money but to justify his reason to exist.
Dead eyes, torn clothes with nothing to his name. He walked again another day aimlessly without meaning to his existence.
"You interest me, boy" a soft whisper blew in his ears. The soothing hum grated his mind reminding him that someone lives happily while his world remains in shambles.
"Who are you?" asked the women watching him critically. The woman herself eyes him as if he remains an alien to this world.
In his inner conscious he knew she was one of those riajuu fantasy gods who would whisper honey-laced words to the hero and lure him to kill the fictional evil being. After all, nothing in the world is truly evil but a matter of perspective.
"Just a random beggar." He gave her the stinkeye but the reaction he got was quite different. She looked as if the answer bothered her more than anything and asked again
"Who are you?" in the end Hachiman decided to keep his silence lest the world deems him a lunatic. A new title added to Hikipedia but an unwanted one.
Taking it as an end, He walked once again without any reason without a sense of belonging.
The woman was right. He was an alien thrown into a world without proper housing or life insurance. To him, this might just be his own personal hell.
...
Today might be the most horrible day. First, it was the woman now he got mugged and beaten badly. After all, Orario never had good social security making him vulnerable just for surviving. Again, among all this, he showed no expression on his face.
Happiness or sadness became mere imaginary concepts. A coping mechanism to delude himself, a fantasy of his own making.
The roads and streets of Orario stopped existing for him. Illusions of his former life guided him forth. Little by little Hachiman too lost the sense of reality. Unknowingly walking straight forth to danger.
He now was in one of the narrow alleyways. Ruined and some houses even destroyed. A monster and something else fought before him. still, nothing rang in his heart. As if he was in theatre, play-acting as a mere participant of this over-dramatic short play. Before him there was a girl, struggling. Blonde hair, long blood-covered boots with a stiletto in her hands. The blade however went through a large monster before him.
The girl glowed like a radiant in pitch-black darkness filling his world. So he decided to do the sanest thing, ignore her. He tried to move but the bullish creature for some reason began eyeing him. Ignoring the woman the creature, the monster charged at him.
If it was any other scenario Hachiman might act to save himself. But his eyes dimmed of any reason to live long ago. With no hesitation, he gave in and contrary to everything he chose death, casually moving towards the beast.
However... suddenly he was pushed by something. He still had not the sanity to look where he was and looked blankly at the individual who tried to protect him. Little by little, he regained his very first emotion in a long while.
Hate.
Still, he got up once more and walked towards the beast. Again, he was pushed. Words were thrown at him but his mind failed, to even, register anything.
Finally, the monster was decapitated by the girl and laid to rest. Now emptiness filled him more and more. The right to one's death, the simplest one was not granted to him.
Seeing no point in staying he was about to leave but suddenly, he was pounced.
Silence filled the streets still a soft hum of his mother's lullaby from his faintest memory filled his mind.
"Why are you giving up?" that's when for the first time Hikigaya Hachiman looked at the girl. Unmatched noble beauty decorated in noble garments of a formal knight. But she too had the same eyes as him.
Dead, without anything to name.
"Why?"
"..."
"Why?"
"..."
"Why?"
Like a broken record she too started to mumble without any reason. Asking the same question over and over and over. It was painful but for some reason, Hachiman could not rebuke her for it.
A single lone tear left his eye, still not, a change in emotion was present in him in parallel to the girl before him.
This was enough to make him know the girl before him, was as much as broken as him.
So he decided to speak, "Do I truly need a reason?"
"Yes" again she started to mumble incoherently.
He finally had enough and was about to push her on the corner and leave.
But...
Ais POV:
To Ais, the world was always black and white. Family meant a lot to her. The irony was that its meaning fully indented in her psyche after losing it.
A happy family. A lost childhood.
Was there anything to rejoice. The title of being the strongest was meaningless to her. Strength only had meaning when she could, protect the things she loved.
Her guild was family. However, the superficies interior too had cracks beneath it. This was not the family she wants. Still, after venturing in the dungeons risking their lives she felt needed and so she relentlessly pursued strength.
In the name of her "family". A family glued together through their usefulness. The moment her blades chipped she no longer would be family. But another number to the guild.
And so it lost its importance.
Today was a day Monsterphilia was hosted by the Ganesha family. However, dangerous monsters broke out of their chains and ran rampant towards the city.
Many lives were lost, still, Ais couldn't care.
'A daily job' that's what it was. A final step to preserve her inner mind lest it falls apart like her loving guild.
She tracked down one of the beasts and confronted it. The battle raged on between them as families in their houses barred theirs doors and windows.
Little by little she chipped on the monster's life until she finally cornered it in a narrow alleyway.
Along the path, many died being stepped by the minotaur or simply used as a weapon against her. She cut them to pieces without hesitation.
'It's merciful that way' or that she tells herself every day.
Death. She was used to it.
Suddenly the beast changed its trajectory and targeted a boy in ragged clothes. She knew what end the boy would face and decided to let the beast consume him.
'One life for many'
However, the moment looked at the boy her feet moved without reason. A fire boiled in her heart raging to save him.
She pushed him away. Now the beast was coming for her
Even though her blade was near breaking point she couldn't care. Her heart was silent, the noises faded for a while allowing her one final move to slice the beast in two.
...
While the battle was over she felt no sense of victory from it and looked at the boy beside her. The more she looked the more disgusted she felt.
Dead lifeless eyes with no reason to live.
A path seeking only death.
The eyes similar to her own looked at her with boiling rage. She could not allow him to die. The boy reminded her of her childhood, before joining her familia. She too was just like the boy.
She tried to make of the boy still the answers rang close to her ears, telling of his broken mind.
In the end, Instead of rebuking or even trying to make sense of anything, she hugged him.
He was dirty, nothing to his name, and a miscreant of Orario. But the emotion inside both of them were the same.
Even in their embrace, none of them spoke a single word and basked in each other's warmth.
Today I went reading manga and remembered I too was writing so came back to write again. Tell me if there are any mistakes