Sizzling Hot

It was awkward.

That was about how Jae-in would summarize the trip back to his apartment.

Wendy's insistence of accompanying him back made it a lot more awkward than it initially was. Somehow even the wild and free attitude of Wendy Jeon managed to tone down right after that unexpectedly heated and seemingly sexual confrontation. Everything seemed to have passed like a messy blur because of the alcohol's swing, including the time that was inevitably left unchecked.

A couple of minutes before five in the morning were the time at the clock when a cab pulled over in front of Jae-in and Yihyun's apartment. Like before, Wendy insisted on taking care of the cab fare as it was her idea to get out in the first place and it unintentionally placed another check in the long list of debts that he owned her.

"Hey, you're okay, right?" Wendy asked from inside the cab's window as soon as Jae-in was out. She had to ask. After all, Jae-in was quiet ever since they left the place. "We… about what happened back there…"

"Don't worry about it, Wendy -ah. I'm not really awkward because of that. It's just… I think that the alcohol's getting to me and… I'm really tired. I'm sorry for being silent and I might have given you the wrong idea."

"Are you sure you're going to be fine?"

"I'll be. I have a couple of hours to sleep before class, and I'll be fine by then. I promise you."

(I really should have told her that I got class at 7, holy shit.)

"Alright then; thank you for going out with me, Jae-in! I look forward to another one with you!"

Without any sort of sensible response ready, Jae-in merely nodded in reply and turned towards the cab driver.

"Please take her home safely, sir."

The driver nodded and quipped: "Will do that, sir. Have a good night… or morning, for that matter."

That was the final stretches of farewell that both Jae-in and Wendy gave each other before the cab finally drove off and vanished into a corner. It was also perhaps the only time that Jae-in's exhaustion truly sank into himself; apparently he was awake for hours more than he anticipated. Now, he only has an hour at most to get all the sleep he needed before heading to school. Certainly, being absent is not an option for a person such as Yoon Jae-in, even if it would equate to him operating on almost 30% of what he normally could do.

Luckily, Jae-in managed to sneak up towards the seemingly-empty apartment early in the morning. Somehow there was no one at the lobby of the apartment; perhaps another sliver of luck presenting itself to a guy who needed to go back to bed as soon as he could. He didn't even bother to open the lights on their apartment's floor and gently he moved to open the door heading straight to the room beyond.

And that was where his luck faded off.

Right as he entered the clean and quiet room, the figure of his step-sister Yihyun emerged from the hallway that separated their doors, oozing a corporate demeanour with a pair of black blazers and dress pants over a tight white shirt. Yihyun had her hair held back with a clam and her face in a small hint of make-up; albeit it was clear to Jae-in that she barely needed it because of how beautiful she was already. Whatever was the reason, she seemed to be ready to go out at any given time.

"N-noona, good morning," he blurted out as he closed the door, praying to the heavens that Yihyun would not smell the remnants of alcohol in him. "Y-you're early today."

Yihyun raised an eyebrow.

"I thought you were asleep. Did you go somewhere? I didn't seem to notice that you've left."

"I… uhh…"

(Crap), Jae-in thought to himself as he internally panicked. (There's no way I would tell noona that I went off drinking in the morning. That'll get me in trouble.)

"I went for a jog. Yeah, that's what I did… I…. I-I woke up early and since I c-can't sleep I just went out and went for a jog. Jogging is healthy, right?"

Even though he really did not look the part, Jae-in was sure he was passable as someone ought to go for a morning jog anyway. It was weird to go out in that cold weather not wearing any jacket of sorts but it was the best excuse he could make up on the spot. The fact that he was sweating perhaps was a small prop.

"I see," Yihyun replied. "No wonder you're sweating, but that's good in the mornings. By the way, you have a class at 7 am, right? That schedule falls on today, right?"

(Oh good, she bought my reason. Oh my god)

"Y-yeah, noona; it's still a couple of hours away so I figured—"

"Have you eaten breakfast yet? I assume you didn't because you went out so early," she said nonchalantly while checking on the contents of her bag located at the couch. "Well, since you're here and awake and I think I could spare a couple of minutes, I'll just wait for you to finish showering and we can have breakfast together. There are things I could prepare quickly without having to cook. Then I can drive you to school so that you won't have to worry about boarding a bus and risk getting late."

"Oh about that noona I actually—"

RING

"Excuse me, Jae-in, I need to take this call. I'm actually expecting this since this morning. Please go ahead; shower and change to your school clothes. I'll be waiting for you."

Jae-in, with utmost courtesy, wanted to decline the generous offer of his older sister yet before he could even say a word, Yihyun was immediately occupied on a phone call from work. And so, most reluctantly, Jae-in slowly walked towards the bathroom with regret all over his head; his additional planned sleep vanished into thin air thanks to the love of Lee Yihyun.

---TWO HOURS LATER---

Jae-in's POV

I am a hypocrite if I won't even admit that I enjoyed that little midnight adventure I had with Wendy but damn did it exert a huge toll against me. Not getting even a sliver of additional sleep was already more than enough to throw my momentum off, but having to endure a headache in the middle of the day was something else. If only I was not cut by Yihyun-noona when I came home earlier, I would have at least given myself some form of rest before I even head to school. I would not mind going in late if it meant that I would function properly; right now I feel like I'm just a shell of my former self.

But I know I can't blame her for offering that. Everything was my fault for not being stern enough.

Had Yihyun-noona timed this on a normal day, I would have loved being brought to school by her. The timing is just so unfortunate.

My 7 am class was Language and it was a class I shared with Vincent as well. However, about half an hour passed since then and he was a no-show, which is self-explanatory considering he really despised early morning classes. I envy him, though; at this time of the day he is probably having the time of his life sleeping while I'm here, begging to the heavens that the small cup of coffee ought to help me up for another hour before the vacant hour right after. I don't know if it could combat the exhaustion from about 2-3 hours of sleep, walking around the middle of the night with Wendy, as well as drinking in the middle of everything that was going on. I doubt, which is why I should give myself even a couple of minutes to sleep at the cafeteria.

I figured I should be prepared for the worst as well; this throbbing headache as well as the minimal amount of sleep ought to make my mood really disastrous. I don't know how else I could explain to my friends that it was a mood swing caused by being too tired. If this reaches Wendy, it could mean trouble. Personally, I find it hard to control my short fuse when I'm at this mood even though I was completely aware of it.

It would have been easy if I had the courage to absent myself. However, I can't.

It was a misplaced sense of self-righteousness but Yihyun-noona is working her ass off to bring me to school, and to me it's an obligation to go there despite being tired. I know that there are times that she's tired, but I never saw her give up.

Well, it was obvious from the get-go that I am not particularly immersed in such small sleep practices and so it was very uncomfortable for me to try and catch some rest at the cafeteria. I merely ended up waiting an hour long, wasting my energy trying to sleep as I was torn on being too frustrated to not sleep, and being too uncomfortable with my position in the table.

Luckily, the following class of Differential and Integral Calculus was dismissed early and so at least that was one less hour to endure for my vaguely irritated self. The classroom was emptied of my classmates as well as the professor, and so I was able to rest myself even for a couple of minutes. This time, I did not even attempt to sleep but rather just keep my eyes shut to take in the solid, rested atmosphere. I spent a couple more minutes there when a familiar voice greeted me coming from the direction of the door.

"What's up with you staying all alone in this room, Jae-in?" I heard Jared's voice greet as he approached. "Normally you're supposed to be at Pacific Cafe at this time of the day. Why are you here?"

I raised my head just in time to see him occupy the empty chair beside me. Flocks of students flooded the outer corridor of the hallway, which explains the sudden surge in commotion. No wonder things started to get a bit chaotic.

"I… I'm just too tired to head to Pacific, man. I figured I'd stay here for a while before the next class comes in, which I think would happen in an hour so I have a lot of time."

"You don't have plans this noon? You're not eating with Jayden, Vincent, or Dawn for that matter? You're not even going with Wendy?"

I shook my head.

"I don't think I'd be doing that now. Vincent did not show up on our 7 AM class so I doubt he's going to show up soon as well. Jayden has an important errand to run, and Dawn's pretty much MIA unless it's weekends, so the answer is 'no'. I'll probably doze off at the campus library for a bit and maybe get lunch late… Wendy … I don't really know. I have no plans, in short."

Jared nodded in silence, and then he proceeded to pat my shoulder with his hand; an act that surprised me.

"Well, if that's the case then why don't you just head on out with us and grab lunch together? It's certainly better than just having to eat alone you know. We're friends, after all."

"Who's 'us'?"

"Hmm… I asked Vivian and normally she's available. Maybe Thomas would show up out of the blue, but it's unlikely. I just figured maybe you'd be comfortable if you know that I asked him as well. What do you say? Do you want to grab lunch with us?"

I hesitated for a bit, wondering if I could handle the short-fused self I have right now, and then maybe the presence of other people ought to help me out of this instead of just keeping everything to myself.

"Why not; sure, let's get lunch later. That would be wonderful."

"Great! I can't wait to tell Vivi. She'll be happy to know that you're joining us. I'll be finished with my morning classes in two hours, so maybe we can meet at Pacific at around 11 or so. In the meantime, you're cool with waiting, right?"

"I really don't mind. It's convenient because I could get some rest as well."

"I see. Are you okay, Jae-in? There's something really different with you. You look really exhausted. Did something happen? You studied after-hours?"

"Oh no, it's nothing, man. Thanks for your concern but I can manage. I just woke up on the wrong side of the bed maybe; that's why I'm acting like this. I'll just give myself some sleep for maybe on the two hours that I am waiting for you and I'm good to go. I just need a reset."

"Alright then; I'll count you on that. So, do you plan to stay here and wait for the next class? Two hours here seemed so uncomfortable if you're planning to stay for two hours."

"You know what… let's just walk. You're class is not in this building anyway right, Jared? I could use some sunshine time and maybe shake me off of this annoyingly exhausted demeanour."

"Well, I couldn't argue that that is a good call. Suit yourself, Jae-in. Let's go."

---A FEW HOURS LATER---

Of all the people Jae-in would think might accompany them, the lunch unfolded exactly as how Jared told him previously. Apparently it was only Vivian who ended up joining them both, with Wendy not even bothering to answer the small invite because she was not actually online. Jae-in has never been to this specific eatery that he had heard a couple of people talk about, and that is despite the location being not that far from the usual eatery he went to. Now, thanks to the convincing powers of Jared and Vivian combined, the anticipation of the place's food somehow eased him off of his lack of sleep.

It was the middle of the day and the sun was clearly up on top of the sky, yet the three of them could still feel the small aftermath of the cold wind approaching them. The place that they never quit on recommending to Jae-in was apparently called Saesong Grill and Sizzling Restaurant, colloquially known amongst the students as 'Sizzler's', and the small stall was located just on the side of a residential area with its façade appealing to look more like a small eatery than an actual restaurant. Upon approach, however, Jae-in and company could already smell the aroma of the variously cooked food from the inside, inciting excitement between them three.

"I'll get the order," Jared said as soon as he scanned the small eating space, which was fortunately lacking of students at that time of the day. "I'll also pay for your drinks so you get to choose that. And by the way, I'll be the one to order for you, Jae-in. It's your first time here so you better taste the best the shop has to offer."

"I don't mind. Saves me time to choose; thanks Jared-ah."

(I'm too exhausted to think anyway.)

"Right, just make sure that you and Ning choose a good spot for us, okay?"

"I got that covered up for you," said Vivian. She then proceeded to pull Jae-in by his hand again before speaking to Jared once more. "I'll get a Dol-bi and mango shake to even out the taste. How about you, Jae-in…?"

"I'd get a mango one too, if you don't mind."

"We're good then. Please go and choose a seat for us. Thanks!" added Jared.

Vivian and Jae-in eventually resorted to eat on a table closest to wall, right on the furthest corner of the eatery. Her reasoning was for the smoke from the food to not get too saturated on them and that the smell would not stick. Jae-in did not really mind, whatsoever, as his primary concern that moment was to eat and enjoy the company without any of his high school friends. The young Chinese student sat beside him while leaving the chair opposite Jae-in vacant for Jared. Moments later, the couple were eventually joined by Jared right after placing their orders.

"God, the place does smell good," Jae-in quipped as soon as Jared managed to take a chair. "I guess I can see why people talk about this place often. I've never been here."

"I thought that you were joking when you said that at first. Almost every person in the Uni has come here at some point in time. In fact, Wendy loves to go here. I just don't know what's gotten onto her that she's not replying to me in any sort of manner, be it on the group or on my private messages," responded Jared.

(I guess Wendy's asleep after what happened earlier this morning.)

(How much I envy her for having that privilege. If only I had the guts to actually not go to school today. I'd rather endure not having enough sleep than get spanked in some form by noona for not heading to school.)

"This is seriously one of the best eateries near the school," Vivian seconded. "Once our orders arrive, you're going to know fucking why."

"I honestly thought that maybe Wendy would have invited you here at some point. I'm surprised nothing of the sort happened yet," Jared said before pausing. He gulped and fixed the table's condiments before tilting his head back to Jae-in again. "That reminds me; didn't Wendy tell you where she is or anything? It's weird for her to not be online at this time. I know that she has her class in the afternoon."

He knew why, yet it was not something he wanted to disclose. And so, Yoon Jae-in merely shrugged, with Jared and Vivian exchanging glances.

Jared opened his mouth to protest but he was distracted with the sound of sizzling plates of food making their way towards the three of them. Vivian, Jae-in and Jared immediately cleared their table to make way for the food, in turn thanking the waiter as soon as he finished unloading the dishes on the table. Jae-in could only marvel at the amazing sight before him; his nostrils were immediately flooded with the soothing aroma that accompanied the soft popping sound right in front of him.

He could not even describe what the food was. Certainly, there might be some sort of idea in him with regards to what's really presented, although with how complicated it was arranged, he could not identify if the food was even remotely Korean or not.

"Holy shit, it smells really good!"

"I told you so. I made sure to order the best for you," Jared said, smiling. "I won't be surprised if you'd repeatedly come back to this place given how good their food is. It's pricey, sure, but you're definitely getting the bang for your buck."

"I would like that idea, but all these oily meat and this sizzle ought to take its heavy toll on me once done too much, although it does look really inviting. I'll definitely come back here."

"Wow," Vivian said as she took a bite ahead. "I wish all of the guys are watching what their eating and not mindlessly lulling themselves over fat and alcohol, right Jared? Did you just hear what Jae-in said?"

"Yah, Vivian-ah, please don't give Jae-in the wrong idea. If anything, Vincent's a lot more into these kinds of stuff. I'm just way too subtle, you know?"

"Bullshit… all of the North Line knows you're a fuckboy," Vivian supplied, serving Jared with a malicious grin. "Oh excuse me… a really rich fuckboy."

"Hey that's pretty much uncalled for! Plus, it's not my fault that people swoon over my body. I'm just being friendly, and I'm giving them precisely what they want. It's not my fault that I'm good looking."

"Oh my god, there he goes again."

"Since when did this become about me, huh? We're here for Jae-in, right? Please don't make him take in unnecessary things. We're here to enjoy each other's' company."

Jae-in raised his head up and moved his attention to Jared, just as he was freshly chewing a mouthful of meat coming from his chopsticks. "Oh don't mind me; I'm enjoying the food. It really tastes good; exactly how you told me it would taste like."

"How about I turn this conversation to the person who duly needs some question, huh? How about that? Jae-in, look, I know that we don't get around too often compared to when you go out with Thomas and the others… so I'll drop my balls to the ground and ask you this. What is really going on between you and Wendy? What are the two of you, exactly?"

Thankfully it was not a drink that Jae-in was consuming that time otherwise he would have easily spewed it right in front of Jared. That's not exactly the one impression he wanted to convey for a time such as that one. He then let his gaze roll as he was in mid-chew, scanning the look of Vivian beside who merely supplied him with a curt smile.

It was bound to be asked at some point. Even if he wanted to delay it, there's no changing the fact that…

"We're nothing. There's nothing going on between me and Wendy."

"I've been holding this in as well," Vivian interfered as she finally spoke her mind. "Jae-in, it's hard to believe that because the two of you went out of the Penthouse all clingy and intimate together. I think maybe at some point you've talked about it already, right? Curiosity got the best of me; I'm sorry."

The three of them fell silent as both Vivian and Jared waited for his reply. Jae-in ran his eyes from Jared to Vivian once again, captivated by the latter's look of utmost concern towards him. Intimidated, he eventually broke apart and finally spoke.

"I… I actually haven't told this to anyone. I've been actively avoiding it because… I don't know. It feels weird to talk about it…. Well, you two are friends with Wendy so I figured…. That night at Skylight, Wendy actually confessed that she likes me."

His statement was met by soft oohs coming from the pair. Their expressions were different as they showed a face more of confirmation rather than surprise.

"We… we figured that's what happened," said Jared.

"Wait, you guys knew?"

"Jae-in, you said it yourself; we know Wendy more than you do. We figured that it would happen at some point."

(Does Wendy often do this to guys she just met?)

"Bottom line is… Do you like her back?"

"Umm… honestly, it's very complicated…"

Jared nodded.

"So it's a 'no' then, otherwise you would have said so already."

"No, please listen first. You see, things have gotten to me ever since that night in Skylight. Looking back at what transpired throughout that only showed how fast we were taking this… situation. I do admire how Wendy felt really determined to prove of her feelings of me; and I'm not telling this to you because I don't appreciate her. It's just… this entire thing, even with the premise of her confessing to me when she was drunk… I think every normal person would agree that pursuing it would be a bad idea. I'm pretty sure that I'm not the only one who's thinking like that."

He paused for a bit and drank a mouthful to regain ground, and then resumed talking once again.

"I can see how Wendy would turn out in case I reciprocate her feelings and formally date her, but then again I still have a lot to know about her. It's crazy to think that you knew her better than me; and I guess that's not ideal for someone that you like to date. At least, that's not how I like it to turn out. Call me old-fashioned, but it's just the way I think it's supposed to go.

"One can perhaps blame me for my lack of romance since my high school days for how I'm feeling right now… leaving me to think that Wendy's being too much towards me in ways I don't even want to disclose. I don't want to just co-exist with her because that would be really unfair to her feelings for me. I just don't want to feel obliged to do anything for her when yet I'm not even sure if I actually like her back. I'm slowly feeling the pressure that I should do something for her in return. I know it's just me, but I can't help but feel it."

Jared nodded in silence while Vivian watched. The former then moved to ask a follow-up.

"Can be honest with you, Jae-in?"

"Go ahead."

"I'm actually surprised that Wendy even took a liking onto you. You're the least type of person I think Wendy would be interested on. No offense."

(I kinda expected that.)

"Don't worry man… I totally understand it. That's part of the reason why I'm unsure of what to feel as well… I mean, why would she even like me?"

Jared shrugged his shoulders.

"I don't know… maybe she's trying something different? I don't know how Wendy thinks these days. The thing is, with the years of our friendship, I could already tell what kind of person she likes. Tall, athletic, brooding… I'm sorry to say but you already lack two of those. I'm not saying that you're ugly, Jae-in. God knows that you're a good-looking man, it's just you're not fitting into the standard that I thought Wendy held up. You came as a huge surprise to me."

"I guess so…"

"Hey," Vivian interfered. "But it's not like you can't change your preference when you're interested with someone. Maybe that's what Wendy's feeling right now. Girls do that."

"Jae-in," Jared said once again. "Have you even considered giving it a shot? Have you ever thought that… what if, just for a day, you tried to act like Wendy's your girlfriend and feel what it's like to have Wendy with you and maybe think your decision after that?"

"And if I didn't like how that turned out and I'd reject her, wouldn't that feel unfair for her because I made her believe in something false? I just gave her hope. In the moment that I'd take it away, it would not be pretty."

"How are you supposed to find out if you're not going to try?"

Jae-in had his answer formulated in his mind, but with the combined irritation from Jared's persistence as well as his seemingly heated mood because of his lack of sleep, everything in his head just wanted him to shut up and listen. However, he also did not want to be rude and so all he could do was control him and try to think properly of what he wanted to convey. Vivian, on the other hand, looked back against Jared with a look of disgust.

"Jared … what the fuck… I agree with Jae-in here," the young girl seconded. "I feel like it would be unfair for him to do that to her."

"Exactly… it would feel like I'm the one who's taking advantage of her situation just because I know that she has feelings for me. She might interpret it with me reciprocating things for her."

"I get your point, but you won't solve anything between you two unless you find out if you like her or not. Are you sure that you want to let Wendy Jeon, a multi-talented, beautiful woman who has boys fall head over heels for her presence because of her amazing body, and admitted having feelings for you, just go because you can't figure out if you like her or not? Other guys would like to kill just to be in your position man. Do you even realize what you have on your platter, Jae-in?"

(I don't honestly understand why he is playing devil's advocate against himself. I don't fucking get what he is trying to point out for me to understand. All the points that he's throwing at the table feels like it's just contradicting each other. It's getting so fucking annoying already that I want to make him shut up.)

(What is the point of this conversation?)

(Was he supposed to convince me to be with Wendy or not? Which side is he on?)

(Is he just getting stupid answers from me?)

"I know that, which is why I want to be absolutely sure if she just confessed to me because she knows there's a huge chance of me liking her back or there's something else on play. Sure, let's remove the fact that she was drunk when she confessed to me, but things are getting a bit too fast that I can't even think. On top of all that, I'm doubting of even acknowledging my feelings for her because I'm also considering the fact that she might be using me to move on, or even just be her past-time while she has no boyfriend yet. What happens if she managed to find one better than me, huh? Where would I end up once that happens? I have my traumas as well, Jared, which is why I wanted to be absolutely sure. I am in no position to gamble and play games. We're way past that."

"Jae-in, that's overthinking too much. All I'm saying is… why don't you try to give a feel into things first and try to return some of her feelings? It's not like you're the best guy in the campus. Like you said, she could easily replace you if she wanted to, now with a better guy—"

That was it.

That was the tipping point.

Every emotion in Jae-in's body broke like a fuse; anger and emotion surging through his entire body as his blood rushed into his head, amplified by the terrible mood swings brought in by his lack of sleep. The memory of his trauma brought back painful memories upon Jared's mention of a better guy, and everything in his sight seemingly went black.

He immediately stood up from where he was seated; furious by the statement that Jared released, and moved to clutch the man's collar with his hands. Jae-in, with utmost overflow of emotions, had his entire rationale flushed out the window as he pulled Jared up by his shirt and glared at him, earning a panicked reaction from Vivian. Soft clatters of the half-empty dishes were heard on the table as the rest of the restaurant's patrons shifted their attention to Yoon Jae-in and Jared.

"Hey, hey, calm down!" Vivian's voice hissed as she too joined the two men. She brought her hands between them and moved to gently hold Jae-in's arms to shake him back. "You took it too far, Jared. I think Jae-in gets your point. You don't need to tell him things he already knew."

"Okay, I'm sorry man," Jared said amidst the deep glare of Jae-in in front of him. "It's my fault… I should have stopped talking. Can we calm down now? We don't need to talk about her. I'm really sorry."

"Jae-in… please let him go. You're causing a scene. It's alright," Vivian's voice came, soothing the angry Jae-in. The young man then finally caught up to what was going on and scanned the area. He saw how everyone was looking at them, and the sight eventually caused his grip on Jared to slacken and eventually let him go.

"I'm… I'm sorry…" he said.

"It's okay. Don't worry about it," said Jared as he patted Jae-in's shoulder. "Calm down. Drink some shake. You just need to chill."

Jared then turned towards the busy onlookers, waved his hand, and then supplied them with a wide smile.

"Sorry about that! I said something wrong. Please continue eating. We'll sort this out. Thank you!" and then bowed.

And just like that, the two guys eventually sorted their emotions and sat down. Jae-in could barely even keep his head up now that he had caused such a scandalous scene in his first time at the place. He could only do so much as ball his fist, frustrated for losing control of him as well as relieving the harkening memories of his past relationship.

It was fortunate that Vivian was there to be the mediator between them both. As Jae-in and Jared were both busy reflecting on their actions and words that lead to such a terrible result, Vivian was the first person to introduce a new topic between the three of them, completely unrelated to Wendy or even the friend group, as they finally finished their lunch in the empty, smoke filled eatery.