'She is still staring at me.'
'Do something!!! Why are you looking at me?!' I screamed at her in my mind.
{Bro chill. I told you she has social anxiety.}
'Then her anxiety must be contagious because I also have an anxiety now!!'
The class started like usual, there was really nothing out of the ordinary except for the eyes of the male population always looking at the girl beside me.
Meanwhile the eyes of the said girl was always on me. Which in turn made the many eyes on her, turn to me. Eyes of jealousy and helplessness.
I take back what I said, it was not an ordinary day at all.
Everything has been weird ever since Komi appeared. I didn't know why her presence had such effect on me but I hoped it would go away soon.
During the whole class I would feel the frequent gaze of Komi on my back and I would always immediately look back.
Whenever I did so, she would pause. Open her lips for sometime before looking away again soon after.
I didn't know why she was acting like that towards me. It was extremely hard to read her as her face was always unchanging, like a doll.
The periods passed by quickly and when the bell - which signifies the first break - rang in my ears, Komi came forward and stood infront of me and just stood still there, without saying anything.
There was instantly a commotion when she did so.
"Hey do you think Komi is going to confess?" one girl said.
"What!! No Komi san would never be with a guy like him!!!"
"Well if there was ever a girl worthy of Fujita sama it would be her."
"Do they know each other?"
"But aren't Fujita and Kitagawa dating?"
Such mummering could be heard as students began swarming more and more around us. Though they stood far away, giving us adequate space.
Komi stood there, taking her sweet time and I patiently waited. Not showing anything on my face.
But then she opened her mouth.
"H-N--T-M-Y." Gibberish sounds leaked from her lips. The sound coming from her did not make sense at all but I did note her melodious voice.
Her voice also sounded perfect.
'Seriously? What's with this girl?' I asked myself.
"Please, could you leave if you have nothing to say?" I said with all the politeness I could gather.
Although I did find her weird, I didn't want to hurt her feelings or anything. Especially if what the author said is true and it turns out she really did have social anxiety. I would be a jerk.
I made sure to observe her with the greatest attention. Wondering if I would be able gauge any emotion on her perpetually pausing face.
But I couldn't.
She showed absolutely no reaction. I was convinced my words really had no affect on her. I was worried for no reason.
Then she left the classroom swiftly without turning back.
I heard the guys saying stuff about how I could treat Komi like but they didn't do anything about it.
I stayed in my seat, taking out my gigantic lunch box which was obviously made by my mother again and began opening and setting the different foods up.
I didn't eat though as I was waiting for someone.
---__---__---__---
"Thank you for the food!!" Marin said with a wide smile before stuffing her cheeks with the food on my table.
"Delish~ as always." she said softly while savoring the food.
"I haven't even eaten that yet." I said with a dry tone but Marin paid no mind to it and brought her hand up, which was holding a plastic bag with different drinks inside. From soda to milk, it lacked nothing.
"I bought drinks." she said with a smile.
Then we began eating the lunch together while also talking about topics which interest us. I had really come to enjoy Marin's company. She was a breath of fresh air amongst the thousand of normies.
The first break was when she usually hang out with me and she would hang out with her other friends in the second break. So this time was literally the only time I could tolerate in school.
"Hey, what's this I heard about you and Komi?" Marin asked and I just shrugged.
"Nothing."
"Really?"
"Yeah, she just COINCIDENTLY transferred to my class and also happen to sit just beside me." I said, not really sure why Marin brought her up.
"I just...you know.." she said, she sounded a bit unsure of what she was about to say and that caused me to look at her. She never had trouble speaking her mind.
"I was just wondering what you thought of her? Most of the boys seem to think that she is very beautiful. The most beautiful girl in Itan." she said, avoiding eye contact with me. She was just looking at my interesting table.
I looked down again, noting that it was nothing seriosus.
"I mean.. I wouldn't really call her beautiful but yeah, she really has no visible flaw." I began. Komi was perfect, that's just it.
"I guess it would be right to call her the most beautiful girl in school." I said, a bit amusement even though I kept a straight face.
Then suddenly, Marin began stealing food from my lunch box.
"Hey!! That's mine." I said but she just quickly gobbled it up. She looked at me and with all the food stuffing her cheeks, she looked like she was pouting.
I laughed seeing her, "Okay okay, I will say it. Kitagawa is the most fashionable and most beautiful girl in Itan." I said.
Marin quickly swallowed her food, "Really?" she asked.
"Of course." I told her, then she closed her eyes and smiled. She was clearly pleased.
"You are definitely- Hey that's mine!!" Marin screamed in shock as I quickly smuggled her food onto my lunch box.
We laughed and began playing the steal game while the other students in our class looked at us like they were watching the perfect romance story.
---__---__---__---__---__---__
After the break ended, the normal boring class resumed and I mean it this time.
Everything was normal.
Komi stopped looking at me and doing something every free time we had and I was able to freely spend the time peacefully reading a book under the table.
The second break came but since Marin didn't, it was the same for me. I spent the day away reading while also training my breathing - as much as I knew how to at least.
Honestly, the way to achieve what I wanted was too vague. I knew what I needed to do but not what to do. Like I have all the ingredients but I didn't know which comes first to produce the result I wanted.
The only thing that made me continue training was the image of me doing a bunch of cool shit after learning a breathing style.
After hours, the school was finally over and as usual, I was the first to jump out of the window and leave the school.
Smiling, I walked away from my school but after minutes of walking and nearly reaching halfway home, I realized I forgot my lunch box which I kept under the table.
"I hate this.." I sighed tiredly.
{Come on, its cardio.} the author tried to make me feel better.
'I guess..' I said, Sumire would definitely be angry if I didn't bring it back home.
Sighing once again, I turned around and began jogging somewhat hurriedly back to my school. What took me 10 minutes to walk, I covered it in 2 minutes.
The students were still going home and they would look at me intently when they saw me running back to school but no one stopped me or asked me why.
I entered the school compound and head to my window instead of going the conventional way.
I climbed up the building and quickly got to my window. I peeked inside and saw Komi standing near my table and I heard something which stopped me from entering it.
"Nii-ce, to meet you."
Her voice was so soft yet so clear. The vibration travelled outwards from her and spread in the silence in the room.
Her tiny melodious voice, unheard by anyone else, ring out shy yet determined. I paused for a bit as I lisetened.
"No." she muttered to herself, shaking her head.
"Nice, meeting you." she whispered yet it sounded rather loud
From her voice I could somehow tell how wet the inside of her mouth is and how soft they would feel. Like the greatest ASMR.
I watched as she continued practicing how she would talk to others. I was stunned and I was reminded that she really was a girl with crippling social anxiety.
A girl who wanted to talk more than anyone else.
But couldn't.
As I continued listening, my mind played back that moment in the first break where she was trying to say something to me.
'H-N--T-M-Y.' That was what she had said. But listening to her, I was finally able to understand what she had said at that time.
My mind filled up the blanks, translating whatever she had managed to utter at that time.
"Hi, nice to meet you."
I failed to notice it then but when I thought back on it, I was able to feel the hidden desire to communicate in her voice at that time.
'Komi can't communicate.' I thought to myself. Or rather I affirmed to myself.
Now it was my time to feel bad and guilty on how I responded to her intention back then.
I sighed, before climbing down the building.
Then I entered the school building normally and walked to my classroom. When I reached it, I forcefully opened the door.
Then I saw her again.
Her face was still in a state of perpetual perfection.
She looked the same. From her hair down to her uniform. All exactly just like I saw her in the morning.
She was still like the perfect doll to my eyes. But now I held the desire to know exactly what lay hidden under that flawless and impassive face.
Who really was she under all that layer of perfection. What flaws did she really hide?
I walked to her and she stood straight and still. Like a model.
When I reached her, I held eye contact with her.
"Hi, Nice to meet you. My name's Yuito Fujita." I continued, "Now, how about you try it."
I wanted her to practice on me instead of letting her pracitice alone in the empty classroom.
"You can try as many times as you want." I said and for a moment...
I think I saw her eyes shaking.
Komi-san can't communicate.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------