CHAPTER 68

"That night, here on the sofa with you. That never should have happened, I was so wrong to allow it to happen, I knew better. The problem is, I have a lot of the same feelings for you that you have for me. But in the real world Brian, quite simply, we can't be together. We could run from here but you're going to become a very public figure. The truth would follow us, someone from this town would be dying to tell our story to the media.", she started.

At that instant, I knew she was right. It was breaking my heart, but she was right. I was going to be in the spotlight, for a while anyway. I knew as well that we would hurt a lot of people if this became public. I had worked my entire young life to be the best athlete I could possibly be, it finally paid off. But that success would cost me any chance of a life with Ashley, it could never be.

"You're right Ash, absolutely right. This town would never leave us alone, we would always be looking over our shoulder.", I replied.

She smiled sadly, nodding her head several times. She slid over on the sofa and took my hand in hers, gently holding me with both hands.

"Brian, I will always love you. More than I should, but that can't be helped. I want you to be happy, I want you to find a young woman, settle down and give me grandchildren.", she said softly.

"You're way too hot to be a Grandma, Ashley.", I laughed.

"Oh hush you", she said, slapping my shoulder.

"Seriously, find that girl, hold on to her with everything you have. And Brian, if that girl is Courtney, that's fine with me too. I know she has hurt you several times, but if you love her, and she loves you, that's all that matters. Life is about chances, first chances, second chances, even third chances. You have to take them when you can. I know her family loves you, so if that's what you want, go get her.", she continued.

"I was watching Courtney today, very closely. She's in love with you, I'm sure of that. And I watch you react to her, I see something is there between the two of you. I don't know if it's enough, only time will tell that.", she ended.

"Thanks Ash, I know you're right, but it still hurts.", I said, looking at her.

"I know hotshot, I know.", she said, her hand brushing my cheek.

We talked for about another hour about the upcoming excitement and my move out to the west coast. I was going to be gone for quite some time, probably close to a year. Between rookie camp, training camp, then the regular season, I would be busy through the end of the year. We decided to call it a night, it had been an extremely long day. Surprisingly, I fell asleep quickly, I don't think I even moved till I heard the alarm go off at eight thirty.

I got up and dragged myself into the kitchen, Ashley had already gotten up, got dressed and made the coffee. I poured myself a cup then fell into the chair.

"What do you have planned for today ?", Ashley asked.

"Nothing really, I just need to get my travel plans from the agency, pack some clothes, that's about it.", I replied.

"Well try to relax if you can.", she told me, "I have some things to do today, I will be back this evening ok ?"

"Sure, see you then.", I responded.

A special delivery service called about an hour later, confirming they would be at my house within the hour with my travel arrangements. Sure enough forty five minutes later the driver was at the door with my packets. I had already packed everything I wanted, I was ready to go. I decided to take a ride to Courtney's to tell everyone goodbye, her parents had been so good to me. I pulled up around one o'clock in the afternoon, it seemed everyone was home. I rang the bell, I saw Courtney walking toward me through the paned glass of the door. She opened it, a huge smile crossing her face.

"Hey, come on in, I'm so happy to see you.", she said.

I followed her into the family room when her dad was seated watching TV with Gia. He waved for me to come on over and joined him. I sat down right next to Gia, putting my arm around her shoulder.

"Hey lover girl, don't I get a kiss.", I whispered to her.

"Ewwwwwwwwwwww.", she screamed, jumping up and running over to her dad.

Everyone laughed, it wasn't easy to one up Gia, she usually got the best of you. We all talked for a while, I made sure I made a special point to thank both Mr. & Mrs. Timmons for everything they had done for me up to this point. I also promised Mr. Timmons he would get his signed jersey as soon as I was able to get him one. He thanked me, then suggested perhaps Courtney and I move out to the patio for some privacy before I left. I sensed something was up, following his daughter outside. We both sat on the small flowered loveseat under the patio cover, it was really a nice day to be outside.

"Brian, I'm so glad your dream is coming true, we all are. But I'll be honest, I am going to miss you like crazy.", she said , a sad tone in her voice.

"I'm going to miss all of you too Court.", I answered, "This is like my second family."

She leaned over and took my hand in hers, she swallowed hard and took a deep breath. I immediately saw her eyes fill with tears, she blinked several times, tears began to roll down her cheeks.

"Brian, I…. I want you to know one thing before you leave, I never want you to forget this. If I could go back and start all over with you, back to the first time we started dating, I would change everything. I would never hurt you like I did, I am so sorry for what I did to you. You always treated me with respect, made me feel like a lady and I threw it all away.", she said.

"It's ok Court, really….", I began.

She quickly squeezed my hand and interrupted me, she was really having a hard time keeping her composure.

"Brian please, let me finish. I don't think I have to say this, but I am going to say it anyway. I love you, I always have. I was just foolish and immature, never realizing you only had my best interests in mind. I hope maybe one day in the future you could forgive me, because you will always be a part of my life, no matter what.", she finished softly.

Tears were streaming down her face, I knew her words were heart felt, she was sincere. I leaned over and wrapped my arms around her, pulling her head to my chest as she sobbed uncontrollably.

"Court, it's ok , please don't cry. I love you too, you know that, I always will.", I whispered.

Somehow my words didn't seem to reassure her, it only made things worse. She suddenly pulled away from me and ran inside the rear door and disappeared. I got up and followed her in but she had long disappeared from sight. Her mom was standing there , her hands up to her face, she was clearly upset.

"I'm sorry Mrs. Timmons, I don't know what happened. She just broke down, I couldn't stop her.", I said, apologetically.

"It's not your fault, that has been coming for a long, long time. She had to let it go, you have no idea how she feels about you. I have heard her cry herself to sleep many a night.", she replied.

"I don't know what to say, I never meant to hurt her… I….", I was trying to find the words.

"You didn't do this Brian, she did this to herself. That's why it hurts so bad, she realizes what she lost. She was cruel and thoughtless, she is having a hard time forgiving herself. Just give her time, she will come around.", she finished.

"I think I better go, I am sorry.", I answered.

"It's probably better that you do go. Just please keep in touch with her, for me.", she asked.

"I will Mrs. Timmons, you have my word.", I responded.