What Are We?

After hanging out with Charlotte's mother and aunt, we eventually move back to Lisa's house in the human world. I made up my mind to continue what I did with Charlotte's mother tomorrow and the next day before she needs to go. Hopefully by then maybe I have a bit more control over this body of mine...

"Shiro? You okay?" When we get back to our room, Charlotte ends up voicing that question to me. I guess she must've sensed that something was wrong? But I guess she isn't wrong in thinking that.

During that talk with her mother, I started to wonder what my relationship with Charlotte even is. We're not a mother and daughter, but we're also not considered friends? Charlotte went back on her words before, but that's only confused me. Are we something like friends? That's what's been on my mind while we made our way into our room.

"I'm just wondering what we are." And so, I end up putting it into words.

"What we are? Did my mother confuse you back there?"

"N-no..." Actually it was Charlotte who confused me more, but for some reason I couldn't say that right now to her face.

"Don't worry too much about it, okay?" She then put her hand on my head, a smile growing on her face. "She was just teasing me is all."

"What do you mean? Teasing..." I don't get it.

"Well, when she called you my girlfriend, she wasn't actually being serious." Like I thought...

"So then we really aren't friends?"

"Hmm? Ah-" She looked at me in confusion, but seemed to have figured out something. "So that's what you're confused about. You see, a girlfriend is like someone special to you. Remember when I talked about confessing a while ago?"

"Yes?" From what I remember what Charlotte told me, it's when two people want to live the rest of their life together. Something that I wouldn't mind with Charlotte.

"Well, normally if the confession goes well, then the two people would be in a special relationship; lovers. Normally we call them 'boyfriend' and 'girlfriend.'" I'm a bit confused... So a girlfriend is different than a friend? And what I'm feeling now, wanting to be with Charlotte...

"Then would that make us lovers?"

"...Eh?" She pauses as if trying to understand what I was trying to say until her face quickly filled with surprise. "Sh-Shiro, I think you're still confused."

"But I wouldn't mind spending my life with Charlotte." I wasn't lying when I said that during that time either. Charlotte did brush it off, but it looks like the situation now is different than before. Also Charlotte's face is unbelievably red right now which is a bit concerning. "Charlotte? Are you okay?"

"I-I'm fine! I'm just trying to figure out how to explain this." Could it be she feels differently?

"...Do you not want me by your side?"

"Of course I do!" This is so confusing...

"Then what's the problem?"

"I just- don't think you fully understand what you mean by saying that. To be lovers, that's... Hahh~ Am I really going to have 'the talk' like this..." Her words fall quiet towards the end after her sigh. It almost looks like she's given up on something.

"Shiro. Lovers don't just simply spend their life together, they also do... 'Other' things."

"Other things?"

"Like uhm... K-kissing and stuff."

"Kissing?" So many new words. I'll try and remember all of this as it looks like Charlotte is quite uncomfortable with this talk. I wouldn't want her feeling like this again. I end up saying sorry to her in my head, but I'm too curious to know as I still do want to be with Charlotte.

"It's when two people- press their lips together... And stuff." It's getting so bad that Charlotte's even looking away from me, her face still looking as though she has swallowed flames. But I still don't understand.

"Why?"

"Why? Well... I guess it's to reaffirm their love for each other?" Love...

"And that's what makes them lovers?"

"Exactly... Hahh~" Charlotte's face finally calms down with another heavy sigh, sitting down on the bed. 

So then, would that mean I need to do this kissing thing with Charlotte in order for us to live together? Is that what I'm getting out of this? But the way Charlotte implies it means that two girls can't do that, only 'boyfriend' and 'girlfriend.' And that realization causing my chest to sting once more, enough for me to reflexively hold my chest in my hand.

"Shiro?" Seeing this, Charlotte looks up at me, still sitting on the bed. I end up walking in front of her, looking down while still clutching my chest. I hate this...

"Is it not possible for us?"

"Huh?"

I hate this. I'm not sure what's going on inside me, but the thought of being unable to live with Charlotte scares me. If I do the kiss with her, then would that mean that we can stay together?

"Shi-" Before she could even voice a single word, my body ends up moving on it's own as I do what she just taught me.

Leaning down to her level, I gently press my lips against hers, trying my best to not hurt her with my mask. The softness feels quite a lot different than I expected, but now I'm faced with another problem. How long am I meant to do this for?

"Mm- Shiro!" But just as I thought that, she grabs me by my shoulders pulling me away from her with quite a bit of force, our lips parting. I thought what I did was okay, as I'm just affirming that I want to live with Charlotte, but the look on her face tells a whole different story. Her eyes looked at me as if I did something wrong...

"Sh-Shiro!" Before I knew it, I bolted out the room. I'm not too sure why, but I just didn't want to see what kind of face she'd make.