Ms. Rhymer's Thoughts

That same day, as soon as the bell rang announcing the end of the school day, Glory took off like a rocket to her car in the teacher's parking lot. She'd been planning to go surfing after school, and she already had her surfboard and everything she needed either on or in her car. The problem was that she had to drive a long way to get to any beach not frequented by kids in her school and it got cold and dark early this time of year. From experience, she knew she'd only get about an hour's worth of quality surfing time in, but lately she'd been feeling frazzled and she really needed it.

Surfing wasn't just a sport for her; it had a lot of emotional and even possibly spiritual meaning. Usually, an hour or two of catching waves recharged her completely. She was hoping for something like that to happen to her today, because she'd been in the dumps lately.

The problem was Alan. She rested on the beach after she finished surfing. She peeled off her wetsuit and then roughly dried herself off with a towel. Then she went back to lie on her surfboard near the water's edge. Sometimes she found it comforting to lay there with the sound of the waves lapping the sand right next to her. She closed her eyes and tried to sort out her feelings about him. It was a way of pondering her problems that had worked well for her in the past, because there was something about the sun and the sound of the waves that helped put her in a meditative and contemplative state.

For two years, if not more, I've been fully aware that Alan has a strong crush on me. It was kinda cute, especially since he was so clueless and didn't realize that I knew. Of course I was flattered, but I'd always assumed that nothing would come of it. He was too shy, and I just didn't see him in a sexual way at all. Besides, he's much too young, and one of my students to boot. The whole idea of his crush leading to anything more was downright silly!

Then something happened. I can't figure out exactly what, or when, or how. But in the last week or two, there's been an important change in him. Out of the blue, he exudes sexual experience and even supreme sexual confidence. It was subtle at first, but it seems to grow day by day. Before, when he'd looked at me longingly, I'd only felt a bit sorry for him. I mean, I'm so not a potential girlfriend for him! But now, when he stares, it does things to me. He just looks so HUNGRY. He's like a tiger; you know he's gonna hunt down and eat his meal. And the meal is ME! I swear, when he looks at me in class like that, I have this strong desire to undress then and there!

And hell, let's face it; I've pretty much done just that. I've done some other crazy things lately too, because he's been driving me wild. If he only knew! I just hope I drive him wild too!

She arched her back and raised a hand to her head, as if she was striking a classic cheesecake pose for him on her surfboard.

She relaxed her pose and continued to consider the situation, keeping her eyes closed. But what's worse is that I find myself contemplating doing even more with him. His weird need for "help" that I've found out about could be a golden opportunity. Why the hell not help him? If he kisses with even half of the passion he looks at me lately...

But that's just crazy talk. Right? I mean, I've got a steady boyfriend in Garth. He's a perfectly nice guy. There's nothing wrong with him. He's very dependable. Handsome and strong too. Everyone tells me that he's a great catch.

The problem is, Garth has never rocked my world. I swear, I've gotten more aroused from Alan just LOOKING at me than anything Garth has ever done to me sexually. Not only does Alan have this weird sexual mojo going on all of a sudden, but he's also still the same ol' kind and lovable nerd who somehow became one of my closest friends in this last year or two. Even though, technically, ours is not a 'friends' relationship, so we never see each other out of school, the undeniable truth is that he's gotten under my skin somehow and kinda made me love him. Then, when you add this new sexual spark to that, I just can't resist him!

She sighed, opened her eyes, lifted her head, and looked up and down the beach. Then she stared into the crashing waves while heavily pondering her situation. Surfing here today was supposed to help me, but it didn't. I still feel unsettled. It's like I'm standing at the edge of a cliff. What if I have a sexual relationship with one of my students? That could be about as smart as jumping off a real cliff! What on Earth am I thinking?! Is it just the fantasy of getting it on with a student? That's just a fantasy and a terrible weakness I have; I can't let it affect me. And Garth! I can't cheat on him. I hate cheaters. So why am I so fucking HOT for Alan lately?

I swear, there's something different about him. Something strange. It's like he's gone from clueless virgin to a real Don Juan in a matter of days. That's just not possible. I know he's been doing something sexual with Mrs. Pestridge in that time, but what? It's gotten me so damn curious! What if I help him out just a little bit? Just enough to find out what's going on, and find out why he's having such a strange effect on me?

Would that be so bad? I can't REALLY be thinking about doing something with him, can I?!

The shadows were growing longer and the wind was picking up as she lay there on her board. So she left the beach a short time later, still feeling unsettled and depressed. She wondered why she remained in a relationship with Garth, because he wasn't any help at all for her emotionally. She felt like their relationship had already died some time ago, and she just lacked the guts to tell him that it was over.

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