Ruin me

POV

X

We arrive at St. Thomas Hospital after what feels like hours of driving. 

They've taken her away from my presence and through the double doors. What frightens me is my loss of control over the situation, I don't know what's happening behind those doors and it's fucking killing me. 

A nurse or whatever the fuck she is guides me to the waiting area where I sit alone on a stiff, cream-colored chair with walnut exteriors. I don't know what to do with myself, my heart is hammering through my chest, my mind is running in circles and I can't seem to sit still. I take my phone out to busy myself. 

Various text notifications fill my screen. 

Slim: Hey buddy I heard what happened everything good?

Tank: wtf happened?! 

Dani: X is everything okay? Thinking of you guys 

Stone: how's Millie? 

Julian: we're on our way 

I don't reply to anyone, I want to tell Julian not to come but if I'm being honest with myself, I need him. 

After a few minutes of mindless scrolling through my phone without actually paying attention a group comes stammering into the waiting area. 

Julian, Stephanie, Mia, Alina, Ellie and Evelyn are here. 

Julian grabs onto me by my shirt and hugs me tightly, like the little bitch that I am, I sob into his arm which triggers everyone else to join the crying game. 

"It's gonna be okay brother," Julian tells me patting my back. 

"What even happened? How did I not know something was up with her?" I ask him through unwanted tears. 

"It's not your fault man," Julian pulls away to look into my eyes. 

"Has there been any updates?" Stephanie asks quietly. I silently shake my head. 

We all sit wordlessly for what feels like an eternity until someone finally emerges from the double doors and stands in front of our group.

I immediately stand up impatiently for information to be given. 

"Hello everyone, I'm Dr. Roberts, I'm Emily's physician tonight, due to HIPAA laws I cannot disclose any information on Emily's condition other than she is okay and she's sleeping right now," he says so stone cold like this is just any other fucking case and it's not! It's Millie and her well-being means everything to me. This load of shit information is not going to fucking fly with me, I'll slowly torture him limb from limb until he tells me exactly what is going on. 

"No," I shake my head. 

"You will tell me everything!" I nearly scream out with hostility. 

"Sir, come here," he says throwing me off as he walks a few steps away from the group. 

"Are you Emily's husband? Boyfriend?" He asks me as he adjusts his thin glasses that sit lower on his nose. 

"Boyfriend," I grit out. 

"The father?" He asks discreetly. 

I nod my head for confirmation. 

"Please follow me," he says turning his back and walking away, I follow close behind as nerves flow over the entirety of my being. He leads us into a nearby room and closes the door. 

Four identical chairs from the waiting room sit along a wall, a cherry wood desk along the opposite side with a computer, tissue, and a basket of pens. Serene landscape paintings are displayed on the walls but serenity is the last thing I feel. 

Dr. Roberts sits in the chair behind the desk and I grasp onto the chair along the wall placing it directly across from him. 

"What is your name son?" He asks delicately. 

"Xavier," I tell him with caution. 

"Xavier, we ran a toxicology screening on Emily, the reason for her unconsciousness was due to a high level of Rohypnol, Rohypnol is.." 

I cut him off, "I know what it is." 

What I don't know is, why the fuck for one it's in her system and two, who the fuck roofied her. We don't supply any sort of date rape drugs. I may be a widow maker with what I do supply but date rape? Not even I am that low of a person to supply it. When I find out, and I will find out about who did this they're going to wish they were never born. 

My hands are starting to shake with rage, it's becoming hard to contain. 

"As for the fetus.." he starts but I cut him off again. 

"The baby," I spit out heinously. 

He nods his head slightly, "As for the baby, I deeply regret to inform you that it's ended in a miscarriage, there was no detectable heartbeat when an ultrasound was performed. Emily is going to need a D&C shortly." 

My world has just come crashing down on me with the force equivalent of a category-five hurricane. I can't breathe correctly, my sight is blurred and I feel like I'm spinning. I didn't want this baby a week ago, hell I really didn't want it but in the last couple of days I've come to terms with my new future and now it suddenly feels ripped away. 

"Wha.." Is all I can manage to get out of my stunned mouth. 

Millie is going to be devastated or is, I don't know what the fuck is going on with her and what she knows. 

"Was it the Rohypnol?" I ask needing to know why the fuck this happened. 

He interlocks his fingers together on the cherry wood desk, "It's hard to say, Xavier, it's possible but first-trimester miscarriages are common and there's no real way of knowing I'm terribly sorry." 

"You're sorry?! You're sorry?! What do you mean you're sorry? You just called my baby a fetus a minute ago! You have no fucking idea how in love she was with that baby! Our baby! 

Your apologies are nothing to me! I fucking hate you, you prick! You just ruined my world! Do you hear me? You ruined me!" I scream out at the top of my lungs. 

The rage cannot be contained any longer. I sit up from the stupid fucking chair, grip it in my hands and full force throw it against the light blue wall causing a picture to come crashing down. The serene photo is now broken, just as I am. I'm broken beyond repair, my Millie was drugged and our baby has died. 

I throw whatever is in reach against the walls as the doctor hides under the desk with pure, raw panic. 

I scream out my inner pain until my throat is raw and burning.