Humbled

POV

Millie 

I keep the pen in between my fingers flicking on my desk echoing a calming sound while my mind is going a mile a minute. I have work to do on this Monday morning but the highs and lows of the weekend have overridden my attention. Now that I have a clearer head, the highs of being in the same vicinity of X and the lows of not knowing what to think of Dani come to mind. The two of them seemed so…natural together. What were they doing together outside that night before I interrupted? I'm still a little shocked I had the confidence to confront them, it was the alcohol of course, but what if I didn't? Would they have done something with one another? 

"Ugh," I sigh out dropping the black pen to the desk and occupying my hands with the weight of my overactive head. 

My mind goes solely back to Dani. I'm not sure if the past is catching up to me and the insecurities I feel when it comes to X that make me weary about her or if I'm just being dramatic and she is in fact just an innocent person that means no harm. 

I'm not the enemy, her words replay in my mind. Maybe she's not. I go back and forth on whether I should hate her for simply existing or just give her a chance and make that decision based on who she is as a person. For now, I'll keep her at arm's length until I can figure all that out. 

Two more days until the anniversary. 

I'm not sure if it's because enough time has passed or because I have X to keep me distracted but I'm not as overwhelmingly depressed as I usually am this close to the date. Don't get me wrong, I'm not by any means okay but with only two days leading up to the date I'd usually be unable to function in the real world. Today, I'm functioning, not necessarily getting work done at the moment but I'm at least here and trying so I'm taking that as a win. 

I sift through my work e-mails and…lovely…I have an e-mail from Nick. This is a work e-mail so before I even open it I know it won't contain anything personal which is why I'm not internally freaking out right now, otherwise, I would be. 

I click on it. 

Good morning Ms. Hill, 

Can you please resend the reports from last week? 

-Nick 

Okay seriously? I knew it wouldn't be a personal e-mail but Ms. Hill? Really? I shouldn't be salty about it but I am. I know shit went down but to just act like I never existed even as a friend? Okay, Nick..

I resend the report he wants, leave it at that, and try to focus on work to the best of my ability for the rest of the day. 

When I get home I need to call Steph. I've been totally stalling with asking her to come to Chicago with me. As much as I'd love my best friend's company, I feel bad at the same time asking her to be my babysitter or whatever she'd be for this trip. I've only been to Chicago once in my life, I went with my parents as a child and went to the once-famous Sears Tower, some museums, and the shed aquarium. It was fascinating as a child but I don't know if I'd feel that same way today, besides, it's work not vacation. 

I struggle for a good forty-five seconds to open the front door of my apartment, I hate this fucking door. If I was ever in an emergency and I needed to get into my house immediately I'd be screwed. As soon as I get inside I start making myself a can of vegetable soup for dinner, I'm not the best cook and even if I were, it's just me eating so why waste all the energy? 

As it simmers I decide to call Steph. 

One ring, two, three, "bitch!" Steph says through the line. 

"Hi to you too," I say rolling my eyes. 

"Where the hell have you been?! I haven't heard from you since my birthday, and speaking of, where did you go? You left so early!" She word vomits. 

"Ugh, yeah, about that..I kinda got fucked up and almost fainted so I had to call it a night, I'm sorry." I explain hoping she won't hold it against me. 

"Mmm, you sure it wasn't because you wanted to just go up and fuck your hot boyfriend?" She says laughing, she's always been one to find herself the funniest person out there..she's not..

"Hmm? Are we still talking about me?" I ask giggling myself now. 

"Oh shut it, Jul was looking so fucking fine I couldn't wait until the end of the night," she says trying to justify herself. 

"Yeah well, I really did feel sick. What happened after I felt better is none of your business Miss Taylor." I smile myself. 

"Ohhh! I knew it you dirty little hoe!" She practically screams out. 

"Oh my god Steph!" I scold at her, she's always had a filthy mouth. 

"What?! I can't be happy my best friend got laid?" She asks like I'm the crazy one in this equation. 

"What am I going to do with you?" I ask rolling my eyes for a second time. 

"More like what would you do without me?" She asks and it really is the better question, I'd be lost without her. 

"Mhm, which brings me to the reason I called.." I start. 

"Go on.." she says hesitantly. 

"I uh, I have to go to Chicago for work on Friday until Sunday morning, do you think you'd be able to go with me? X said you can take the day off but if you don't.." I try to continue my spiel but she cuts me off. 

"Fuck yeah! Absolutely!" She says over-excitedly through the line. 

"Oh thank god," I breathe a sigh of relief. 

Well, I guess Chicago here we come.