Date 2

I really didn't date anyone for a long time because it was all about finding the passion and rush but not about just settling down because you want to be loved. Almost everyone I knew in my class was committed to someone but it was really for me to believe that they had the thrill for each other and felt the butterflies fluttering inside the stomach. It wasn't always in the physical Outlook but the vibe and connection but somehow I always end up giving with someone who was attractive, so I guess my vibe was flawed and biased most of the time. I also questioned myself a lot whether I was physically attracted or it was love but then if I loved them I should be void of all the feelings that give me happiness and pray for his but again if it is mere attraction then why does it take years to get over someone, I mean there are so many guys who look appealing. So finding the answer is really hard as it is all relative but only going through the emotional explosions going inside. Remember the feeling when you got something you wanted the most which have been suddenly taken and now nothing seems more appealing and you get worried that you are capable of developing feelings for someone else, well I am in that state. Forgetting Aarav is not happening and I am worried about what will happen if I love him for the rest of my life. Our eyes used to meet sometimes and it was really awkward for me to then look at him for the rest of the day. Also, we hardly used to talk and even if he tried pulling off a conversation, preferred ignoring him, the most difficult job I had then but really couldn't help it. After few months Aarav went on a dating site changing girlfriends every month or two as if he was trying to make up for all the time he had wasted on us. He really didn't care about who he was dating but he was consistent with change and it bugged me in an intolerable way not really getting the point of such dates which really didn't give anything for real. I tried so hard to like just sent random guy in class but he seemed too perfect to forget, so I used to tell myself that since he is for my future good is separating us for someone to make us realize how much we love each other and also if we keep dating then we would break off even before we get real which kind of made me happy that the dreams were on prices and the beauty is only the v to strengthen our relationship. You are trying to exactly find a word for me, well it would be foolish and naive but please don't hear me because I was in a believable love and was a teenager with hormones shooting in different directions. I had a temporary crush just so that I can take off my mind from him for something and it reached from celebrities to some senior but nothing gave me the joy like fantasizing about him gave, so I started making peace with the fact that I am never getting over him and might have to live with that. Like this 8th grade was almost nearing its end and slowly our group started hanging out more planning on what can we do after exams. I had no mood of inviting anyone home because I had no gain from that so I let others make plans and was being a participant, it was easier that way. Whatever plans we made, he only turned up in one of them and left early and he seemed not into hanging out with all of us as if he had other important places to go, so even I tried not concentrating on him and looking out for new hobbies. In the meantime, I got my mother's old phone and was happy to have at least have some privacy that I own. At that time mobiles phones used to circulate as the new model will be taken by Mom which she will have over to dad after it becomes a little old and then he will give it to me, things are how families at that time functioned with gadgets. And it was still leisure to use the second-hand phone then with a limit of 100 text messages per day and calls costing 10 paise per second, a definite advancement then but surreal now. After the break was over things got worse because Aarav was transferred to a different section. Now it meant seeing him when less and it was my saturation point, initially, I did very bit weeks thinking how would I finish school and of days but then things seemed less scary than I anticipated as it was fun and different. I was seated next to Nilesh, a guy from the other section and we became good friends and he used to care a lot about me and I started telling him about my post-experience. He suggested I try dating different people from school but I was not in the mood but he was very persistent about the advice. He was telling me all kinds of stories about this boy from his class named Harsh and he seemed really interesting and hot. Nilesh even gave me his number and told me to text him because he left school and is enrolled in some Boarding School but he is in Kolkata right now on vacation. For some reason, it seem like a good idea and I decided to play it cool, pretending to text him by mistake and behave as if I don't know him. I went back home yes took a shower, had something for lunch and then texted him saying are you coming to school tomorrow and within seconds he replied who is this?!. Instead of revealing my Indenting asked - Rupal?. He said no and I immediately apologised saying it might have been a wrong number. To this, he replied no problem and asked me where I am?. And that is it, all I wanted was for him to initiate this conversation somehow so that I don't seem too obviously interested in some random stranger. And after that, there was no stopping we texted non-stop back and forth and he told me it is such a weird coincidence that we turned out to be from the same city, school, grade and not only that we live so close by. I was smiling at the back of my head thinking either he is too stupid or simply trying to ignore the fact that it wasn't a chance so that we can play along. Whatever it was I really didn't give much thought to it and played styling because there was a chance of dating someone after a really long time and with the descriptions I have been given about all day long it seemed like things might get interesting. Also, we had nice chemistry, the first day we were texting each other till 3 in the morning and still couldn't get enough. We also made plans to meet the day after and I was really excited about it, as I will be sending him properly the first time and meanwhile did quick stalking of his Facebook profile. There wasn't much in store but I got a glimpse of his glowing personality and beautiful face and was really content with what I saw. Three days was finally here and told mom that I will be doing a class project with Annupriya, my then best friend, and bunked school. We had a test that day but I really didn't care about it as long as it is unknown to my parents and even made Annupriya bunk the class and miss on the test, which she was perfectly fine on skipping even though she used to score the highest in our class. She was also to schools as her Mom recently shifted from Assam due to Office. Initially, we thought she'd be really mean so I kept my distance and was really not interested in talking to her and on the other hand she hardly made any new friends, but one fine day we both were thrown out of the class with some other student because we didn't bring our General Knowledge book, a normal for me and unusual for Annupriya. I call it faster than patched us up together over our love for Hollywood Songs and after that we became inseparable. I even introduced her to my group and she even started hanging out with us but there was always a tension between who would I have out the most with. The outside is that everyone in my group is the closest to me and I kind of brought all of them together, as they were friends I had in different classes and it became really difficult to hang out with everyone separately and I introduced them to each other and now we all sit together but yet they all still used to pull me towards themselves, especially Jasprit. She was always very protective about me and behave as I belonged to her and tried her level best to not let me mingle with other people, for some reason she always tried keeping me and Rupal to herself. She even fought multiple times with Nandini, my best friend from grade 4 and now a part of our group, because I was getting close to her and then the fight always ended up with someone crying. Then she tried separating me and Annupriya by sitting right in the middle, it was crazy but she is actually a good person by heart just was too much into our friendship but then after a point she gave up and then things started to settle down in our group and though it took a year it was worth it as we had so much fun. We called ourselves the Single Ladies after Beyonce's song, though everyone was always dating the name seemed perfect and we also couldn't think of anything else.

So that day I went to Annupriya's place in my school uniforms, chanted into one of her clothes and since her Mom was always at Office so we literally filled around a lot at her place and there were no restrictions as such. Harsh was already waiting for me outside and since we already discussed kissing and making out thoughts today or is going to be my first kiss. And we were looking for Lipstick or Lipgloss but Annupriya's make-up sees always scattered so I couldn't find any. We were looking for it here and there and finally found a coloured lip balm in her Sister's bag, I put it on and left in a hurry. I called him near Annupriya's complex and he was there waiting for me with a Glowing face. He was really fair and talk with an amazing body, hazel eyes and brown curly hair. He was looking towards me while playing with his bike keys and smiled as he saw me. We shook hands and started walking in a random direction and we started talking about random stuff. He assured me that I would like a Coffee or someplace to eat but I said no and we were simply walking. I don't know why but I always hesitate whenever it comes to food or eating out on a date, as neither do I like them paying for my food and me paying for my own. So I am always in a dilemma. I prefer skipping dinner for dates and if we have to meet someplace I prefer a Coffee house though I am never able to finish mine.

He told me about himself and his days in our school and how because he was always in some kind of trouble so his parents thought the best way would be to send him to a boarding school. And he was telling me how hostel Life is so fun and all the more mischievous fun he does, it was amazing hearing him speak and I was being swayed away by his charm. It was already an hour so we decided to call it a day and planned on meeting soon. He dropped me near Annupriya's place and I went back to her home all excited. She was equally excited and wanted to listen to all of it, about our conversations and what we did and about our first kiss, which I completely have forgotten about. He didn't try to kiss me or make any such move maybe the next time but it was definitely not day and yet it didn't bother me because I could see a beginning to something that was looking gone. That same day we started talking again and texting and there was no stopping we were texting till 6 a.m in the morning and I had to go for my tuition at 8 a.m and for classes around 10 a.m. So I hardly slept and yet so pumped up because of the conversation we had that night. We planned to again meet the next day after school and he was supposed to be waiting for me a little away from our school n building so that no one spot us. Meanwhile, I told Divesh about us and he seemed really happy and told me that if there is any problem I should let him know immediately. I left school early with Annupriya went to her home, had some snacks and kept a few of my stuff and her place freshened me up and excitedly went to meet Harsh. Just as decided he was perfectly waiting for but without anything, I dreamt about at least some flowers but I guess such gestures have faded away now and things are becoming more practical so I stopped thinking about what I didn't get but instead was wondering about what I could, my long-awaited first kiss. We were walking through some empty lane near our school and the roads seemed endless, then we suddenly found an isolated place near a small pond. There was one house on the opposite side but it was close enough for me to spot one or two humans in few rooms. I was scared that if he kisses me here then will it be too awkward and what if something spots us, I am not even sure whether kissing is publicly legal or not. I definitely don't want to end up in jail because of listing a guy, that would be too embarrassing for me and difficult to live with. We weren't talking much and I am pretty sure he must be thinking about the same thing whether to kiss me now or not because we have discussed kissing on the text like hundred times but when we meet things become difficult. But then suddenly he held me and looked into my eyes and in no seconds we started kissing. I don't remember for how long exactly but it was quiet for some seconds. Then we stopped for a while and started kissing again and I was facing towards the pond as I was kissing him. It would sound series but I kissed him with my eyes open, I don't know whether it is normal or not because in movies your eyes seemed to automatically close but mine were wide open maybe because I was scared to be caught and there it was my dear slowly appearing from the dark. I could see a silhouette of a man walking towards us and I immediately stopped kissing him and informed Harsh. He told me not to worry and stay right behind him and as the man was almost near he shouted "What is happening here?". Harsh very calmly said "Nothing sir, we are going back" and he seemed to be murmuring something and sounded very annoyed. Harsh held on to my hand and we left. My heart was fluttering and I was really happy inside steal holding his hand and questioning whether I should keep holding our should I leave. And after some time he slowly started letting it go and that is when I took my hand away. Then he took me to the Rickshaw stand and explained to the driver the Direction to my place, though he never visited it but easily figured it out when I told him the location vaguely and as soon as I was getting on the rickshaw he pulled me towards him lifted me a little down by holding my waist and kissed me for a few seconds. I waved at him and sat on the Rickshaw, figuring out what the last act was supposed to mean because this is not how normal people behave the whole dating and started wondering whether it's he in line with me which got me really excited to the point that I almost forgot that I had a crush on Aarav. Meanwhile, things were looking at my home as I told mom that I would be working with Annupriya on a Project but when she called her to enquire, I was not there so my Mom was annoyed because it's been already an hour. So when I reached home she started asking me all sorts of questions and since I didn't know this at she already called Annupriya I told her I was with her. Then she told me that how she carried her a house ago and Annupriya told that I already left to which I responded that I met one of my school friends Nitin and was hanging out with him for some time. She definitely didn't believe and one there was something cooking up but left questioning me and I made sure not to spill the real deal. I had my dinner because it was already 9 pm and saw this text. He said he loves kissing me and can't wait to kiss me again and I couldn't wait either but we only had three more days as his vacation was almost over so we planned on making the most of the remaining days. It has been 5 days since we were talking till 6 in the morning so I was barely sleeping and now slowly I was getting really tired and I could feel my body functioning less than usual. Also, there was no chance my mom would let me skip school and I really didn't know the point of going because I have had already made up my mind that I wanted to be a Designer do scurrying good send pointlessly and even if I would go, I used to hardly listen on what the teachers had to say and were lost in my own world most of the time and gossiping with my friends for the rest remaining. I also had a habit of forgetting especially things I really didn't care about, so it was very regular for me to not do my homework on the time it carry things asked by our Teachers. Also, I used to gate carrying those heavy books so after 8 I stepped carrying any coursebook but only a few subject notebooks and school dairy. And since it was mandatory for me to study for 3 hours every day after school because of my parents who used to keep a watch, so my favourites pastime was copying notes. I hardly carried any noted books and wrote them in my rough book and used my study hours to copy them. A good time pass I developed over time and it worked pretty well for me till the exams we almost approaching and then I used to study seriously and get decent grades which my parents were handed over at the end of the year because I never informed them about the Parents Teacher meeting in between and poor they would only make it at the end so it was vital that I get better scores for my end term. This was my school life in a nutshell and I have no complaints about it and this behaviour mine got me into a lot of trouble at school with regular punishments and I was titled the Notorious kid and for some reason, I had a lot of bravery to actually not be so affected by all these.

We were supposed to meet the next day and we couldn't think of a place so he suggested that I meet him near my place and from there we can decide. Since we have already moved ahead in our conversation and we are literally sexting, so he suggested that I should wear a skirt so that it becomes easier for him to do stuff on me. Honestly if at present someone would make that request at that stage of our relationship, I would definitely shit that person because I don't like people being so blunt when things are casual for many reasons. But old me happily accepted his request for a short flowy skirt and went there to meet him. He was waiting very close to my place and this time I actually told my Mom that I am meeting a friend Harsh and mom didn't mind. I initially thought to invite him to my house since my parents were leaving for dinner shipping and we could get some alone time but my house wasn't so fancy due to our financial situations so I wasn't sure whether I should invite him over it not because he seemed a little rich than my average friends and I am sure I was the poorest of them all. We saw each other wearing the same colour and it looked like we planned for it but it was all confidential which then I took as a beautiful doing of the date. I reminded myself over and over again that I have to take a picture with him as a memory because I will be seeing him again after a long time and he had a Camera phone so I went and told him that we have to take a picture together and he said since we have a lot of time we will definitely take one before I leave. It was again the roads and we see endlessly walking and like the last time I really didn't mind walking and basically, we were trying to look for some shaded place where we can make out. As we were walking he tried holding my hand but I resisted because the place was really close to my house and I couldn't put my freedom in danger. There was a place with very few houses and next to it was a big wall which kind of excluding the other lane and few people from the house could actually see us and it was a perfect spot for us. We were standing and talking and suddenly he started kissing me for free seconds and then we were back to talking. This continued for an hour and we couldn't get enough of each other and we wanted more but it wouldn't be good to proceed any further as I could see one Old Man watching us and a small car staring right into our eyes making things even more awkward than it already was. We decided to go somewhere else but there was really no place better than the one we were standing on and it was almost time for him to go back. So we started walking back and we suddenly stopped at an Old Market building which was closed, ideas started running and he took me inside. We started kissing endlessly and then he grabbed me and hugged me really tightly by my waist but he then he already started getting calls from his parents because he had his train in like three hours so it was finally time for him to leave. He kissed me on my forehead and waved me goodbye as he was going in another direction. I went back home and I was not really sad because I guess I was content with our episode and since I was so sleep deprived I really wanted to sleep. My head was spinning already and I was the kind of glass that I don't have to test today and happily sleep. But he started texting again and calling me as soon he boarded his train, it made me happy but at the same time I was too tired and since there was some network issues his call was getting disconnected many times and it was irritating me, so I did the needful told him the final goodbye because he has to hand over his phone to the Hostel authority and they only get it back just before the next break. He told me he will contact me on the 30th of December as it is when he will be coming back again and I couldn't wait for it. But today I just wanted to sleep and maybe dream about him a little but sleeping was mandatory. I had my dinner and while I was under my sheets, I tried relieving those moments that I had with him, thinking about the first kiss and went back to our very first conversation. It seemed both good and funny how things built up so unexpectedly and fast within a week that everything seemed surreal as if I was living a dream. I decided that the next time when he comes back I will ask him to meet me in front of the school so that everyone can see us and also decided to tell my other friends about him tomorrow as only Annupriya is aware of us.

The next day I woke up in a very cheerful mood because of all the sleep I got lost at night thinking about what to tell my friends and where to begin. Currently, everyone in my group is Single do I was the only soul who was having some errands in life and it made me proud of myself. I couldn't wait to gossip about it the whole today and went to class early. Generally, I was always the last one to enter but it was my day and was 20 minutes early to school by waiting for my friends to come. Jasprit was the first one to come but I wanted to wait for everyone so that I could tell everyone the story together and see their reaction. So as the last person from my group came I gathered them telling them that I have something important to discuss and we have like 10 minutes in our hands. Only Jasprit and Nandini were ones who Harsh was which was surprising because honestly, I had no idea who he was. They got really excited about it and two of them were a little jealous as I could see it from their faces but they wanted every detail and we continued discussing it all day long because it was both Surprising for them and me as I was currently the first person to be missed from my group and they wanted to know everything about how it felt and what was it like especially Jasprit. I exaggerated and boasted a little bit about the kiss and the affections Harsh had for me. They couldn't get enough of it and we even gossiped about it after school was over for about an hour by a small temple near the school, not the right place to discuss such deeds but at that time we really didn't care about it. I always hang out with someone or the other after school roaming here and there so I never in my life went back home straight and reached an hour or two late. Weeks passed and a 10 day holiday on the occasion of a Hindu Festival was approaching and the City, in general, used to get excited about it every year. It was a 7-day festival and we used to roam the city all night for at least 4 days to witness the Grandeur and lights. The festival is known by the name of "Durga Puja '' and other cities in the world hold this festival in such Glory as we do here. The festivals last for 7 days and every Street is lit up and holding its own Pandals which is a structure made with Bamboo and decorated with both Conventional and Non-conventional items. Every pandal has a unique theme and takes about 3-4 months and some even a year, so basically once they take out the current one they start planning and making for the next. The Festival is very important for the people here and they save money for an entire year so that they can use it up during the festival. The festivals bring with it a lot of advantages like shopping for new clothes, eating a lot of fast food and buying new items. It is a break from everything and every street plays its own music which creates an atmosphere of Bliss and Joy. We always keep one day for friends and we do some Pandal hopping during the day, eating roadside foods and clicking pictures from a 2-Megapixel camera and yet happy with the clarity but the Bluetooth was so slow that transferring pictures was a task and we only concentrated on taking selective snaps. Finally, puja was here and I was happy for the fact that I don't have to study for the next 10 days and also that December was almost here. The next 10 days went at a lightning speed but October - December is all about festivals and celebrations so the Joy had already begun especially in Kolkata where people are more about celebrating and chilling, the reason this city is called "The City of Joy". After the school reopens for the next 20 days then again it will close done for 5 days because of Diwali which is again a very auspicious festival in India. Diwali is all about bruising crackers, eating sweets, wearing new clothes and cleaning the house. Bursting cracker is my part and eating "Kaju-ka-barfi" which is made from crushed cashew and decorated with silver foil, I could eat it endlessly and my metabolism rate was quite high so it really didn't affect my weight. The period between October - December unfolds really fast and you try to grab as much fun as you can and for me since it was already November. As the school reopened we were catching up again and class tests were about to begin but it really didn't bother me that much until the day before the exam. At that time we were very active on Facebook as it was kind of new for us and also it provides us with the facility of unlimited chat and could just stalk and text anyone. Dating became easier for my friends with the help of Facebook and started talking to strangers who we didn't even know. I started making friends with people from outside the border and now I had friends from Russia, England and the USA. We became really good friends and one of them even invited me to their wedding but obviously, I didn't have a passport then and definitely my parents wouldn't really allow that. One fine day as I was chatting with my Spanish friend about how I will visit him sometime and we were planning about it, I received a request from some girl and not thinking much about it I accepted it and she immediately texted me. I opened her chat and what she wrote really crushed me inside. She told me Hello I am Polumi, Harsh's girlfriend. I really didn't know what to say and error I could actually believe her or someone was playing a trick with me. I had no idea about it but I was pretty sure about my emotional state which wasn't good. The chance might be 0.99% that what she told is true but I didn't like that chance either. It was really hard for me to believe that someone who is been so close to me, the closest that I have allowed anyone to is cheated on it. I really didn't believe it to be true and immediately called Annupriya. She suggested I stay calm and we will do research on it tomorrow. I tried calling Harsh on his phone but as excepted it was switched off, I was restless and didn't know what to do and mostly scared that what if I was actually cheated then how would I face myself. I couldn't sleep and couldn't stop crying but then finally I was also and the next day when I woke up my eyes were all swollen but since I write glasses it became hard for my parents to notice and everyone is generally in a hurry so no one noticed it. I took a shower had my breakfast and rushed to school looking for Annupriya, I had asked her to come early and she was diligently waiting for me. I retold her the last day incident and she gave me few possibilities one that she might have a crush on Harsh and t must be irritating him so to wave her off he told him about me and now she is trying to okay with me, the other could be that she is just a friend and pulling my leg and the last one would be true. Something or the other Harsh only must have told her about me because nobody else know about us and possibly knew Polumi. Her reasoning seemed positive enough and we decided to visit the nearby Cyber Cafe and try to hack Polumi's Facebook account, so we asked Josh a nerd from our class to help us. He was good friends with Annupriya but he said recovering is easier but having is very difficult and he could only try. We promised to buy him dinner if he could hack and as soon as schools for over we the rushed to the Cyber Cafe. My other friends knew that something is doing but I didn't want to tell them then do I did I had some personal problems but yet they weren't convinced. Back then nothing is supposed to be personal between friends and you had to tell them because hiding secrets was a sign of distrust. So I told them what happened and they were like don't worry or he is an asshole. But at that point in time, I didn't want to be consoled but only wanted to know whatever the truth is. As soon as we received the Cyber Cafe we took a Computer at the end of the row gave Josh the special seat and even brought coke for him. He seemed too focused and tried for atleast half an hour but we were not even close to having her account. After an hour I started wondering what if I make friends with the person who actually owns Facebook so my life would be v really easier. I really don't one how such thought crosses the mind of a 15 year old but it did and I can't feel more stupid about it. Then after abd hour of trial and wasting a good sum of my money he gave in. So he left and I was really annoyed at him but I and Annupriya tried to search her profile and she had a picture with Harsh where people commented: "Nice Couple" and stuff. I felt even more crushed because my nightmare was coming alive and I didn't know what to do. So I and Annupriya decided to chat with her very casually and telling her any Information and figure out her real reason for texting me. So we were chatting with her and she was talking in a way that she wanted to know me and be my friend. I really don't know why but I kept the conversation even when I went home. Two days later Jasprit comes to me and reels me that Polumi texted her as well. She was asking what I have a boyfriend or not and she sent Jasprit a screenshot of mine and Aarav's picture from my Facebook Wall asking whether he is my boyfriend. To that Jasprit said no and he is just his friend and currently Krityais not dating anyone. A good move but right now no move matters because even she is actually Harsh's girlfriend then nothing would matter and I will be the other one. Waiting for him to come is a month away and I really didn't know what exactly to do. Sometimes I wondered should I tell her everything but then I couldn't gather the courage to do so. By birthday was also next week and I love throwing Birthday parties but not I can't even think about that. I started finding ways to get over him maybe started crushing on Aarav again at least I can see him every day but with Harsh I would always be staying in a state of confusion and anxiety. Sometimes I wonder if this is even the right time to waste my life like this but then the fact that my career life is only starting after I go to Design College make things seem need really easier. Whenever something bad happened with me I always thought that the best part of my life will only b start when I enter into NIFT and it gave me an eternal hope and made everything bearable? So I used the same technique but I was still a little worst inside. But thanks to my Birthday week I already had so much in my plate that I have less thought about him and it made things really easier. I invited my class and tuition friend and try were about 25 people. My mom use to cook for all of them and my aunt used to help her, since we weren't so financially strumming my parties were not that extravagant but it was always good and we used to have a lot of fun compared to other birthday parties where we simply used to go to some restaurant and eat. My dad decorated the entire dining table every year and it is were I used to cut my Birthday cake. The most exciting part was always the gifts that I used to get and after everybody left and the house was cleaned me and my sister used to open gifts and divided it among each other. We used to already decide our share in the chocolate so that there is no confusion and later in she doesn't eat mine because I am a slow-eater and she can't wait. Also it was really fun to eat after she is over with her chocolate but then I had to end up giving some from my share because obviously. After my Birthday was over the class test was about to start and I was kind of relieved that it will also help take my mind off a little but then untill and unless I talk to him, I can't be in peace. The class test was finally over and the next day, School was closing down for Winter break but I want rejoicing and cherishing. It only it meant long hours of over thinking and wondering. Finally it was only a week left for him to come and I was both happy and terrified. What will he do, will be choose me or dump me and will be continue his relationship with me or not. I felt really helpless and I didn't like myself like that as I have all have undefined myself as someone who is Career-driven, famous and successful and right now I am not even near my Self- imagery. Finally it was 30th and I kept the phone so cool life to me, I didn't even want to miss his co has. I decided to wait for it today and see if he calls and incase if he doesn't then I will call him in the evening. I didn't want to sound like someone who is desperate but yet I am almost losing patience. It was 30th so my dad planned to visit a Mall that has just opened, initially I didn't want to go because I was wondering what if Harsh calls me and ask to meet but then since it was already afternoon the chances of that happening seemed less probable so I went along and I am glad we did because that kind of took my mind off. The same day as we went there was some Rasgulla (round white sweet) eating Competition was happening and I raised my hand to participate. I like part in Competition and especially drawing competition because I mostly win. As the Rasgulla competition started I ate 13 Rasgullas in a minute which was a good number but a girl are two more than me and phew I list by two and since I came second I just got a small gift hamper. Then we did some shopping and sat for dinner at KFC. It was already 8 and I decided that if doesn't call me before we get home, then I will m directly call him and get over it. As I was reading, my phone rang and it was from an unknown number. I picked it up and a person asked "Kritya", I asked who and he said "Harsh". I rushed outside the restaurant with the phone, telling Mom I will be back in 5 minutes. And finally I would get answers to all the question I have been sitting on for the post 1 month. I told him about Polumi asked who is she and then he started saying that

"Kritya I am really sorry, Polumi was already my girlfriend before I met you. But I am really sorry I never through things so go far between us but you are like my sister now so please don't tell her anything" I really didn't know what to say at that moment and ask her him how she got to know about me?! So he answered that his small brother told her. Hue could I miss this shall important detail that his brother is also in the same boarding school and he was also get for the holidays and must have heard or seen our Conversation. He then added that his brother here him talking to me and told Polumi that I am taking to you and when Polumi asked me I told her you are like a Good friend from my school and that is why I was talking to you. He again begged me not to tell her anything and I really didn't know what to say or do so I told him I am outside and will call him later on. He again said that he is sorry and made he promised that I won't tell Polumi anything and I played along for more so that he can let go off the call. I can be back and true to stay as normal as I could but still I was her to do was go back home open the shower and cry my heart out. When I went back Surprisingly I didn't want to cry I just wanted to watch something and sleep early, as I was really sleepy because of all the Rasagullas I ate and also didn't want to think much about today's episode. So I cried and cursed myself a little and went to sleep. The next day was 31st if December and it has always been very important for me that New year's Eve goes really good because it is kind of a start to something and the start should be with good vibes. So before the clock struck 12, I wanted to clear my mind and on this pursuit I visit Annupriya's place and the first thing I did was hugged her. We have became really closer in this one year and currently we tell relied on each other a lot. I explained her everything properly and she was really annoyed at him and wanted to break his legs. Then she called one of her Neighbors who is also a good friend of mine as well and she is always good with advices and suggestion. She heard my story and tried handling it in a more practical approach so suggested that I can either take my revenge or forget him. I like the idea of taking revenge and how I should spill all his secrets to his girlfriends, even Annupriya suggested the same thing that he should get the taste of his own medicine and planned on how to go about it. But the more we discussed about it the less sure I started getting about my idea of taking revenge. Harsh's girlfriend seemed completely obsessed about him and on the other hand his brother had already told her that something did happened between us but yet she was more concerned on whether things are still heating between me and Harsh or not. So we decided to think about it more and plan what to do and right now it was to not keep any tires with him. Though nothing fruitful came out from today but yet I felt relieved as I was more worried about how my friends would react and have I lost my dignity and will they make a full of me because I never knew what it feels like to be cheated. But it was nothing as I imagined, they were really helpful and considerate and I never got the blame but only Motivation and sympathy. We celebrated 31st by going out and eating dinner and then while coming back we stopped the car at park where you people were celebrating and about to begin with the countdown. So we waited for the countdown to get over and then came back. Overall it was a good day and I hoped for next year to be really good to be better than this one. As the school re-opened, the first I did was to all my friends about the incident and they got really annoyed. Jasprit got annoyed to the point that she was her to take the matter in her hands and talk to Harsh and his girlfriend. I really didn't care about how things would turn up and told them to do whatever they feel like doing. Sharmada on the other hand suggested we should all go his house with Hockey sticks and best the shit up but only she had a hockey stick because she was in the school hockey team and the idea could land is up in Jail so we invested tried on cooling her down and focused on more rational ideas. The conversation started getting so intense that even the other classmates started asking us what happened so we started dispersing ourselves from the conversation. The break was almost over and we planned to carry on the rest of the discussion after school is over. Everybody planned to give me in the background and Jasprit decided to tell Polumi everything and on the other hand Annupriya will call Harsh and make him feel guilty about everything. I really didn't care at this point about the after effects and went home a little depressed hooping to get over all of this as soon as possible and concentrate on things that actually matter like art and dance. So after a really long time I started painting again and was disappointed to see no such progress in my skills and knew the reasons were all the distractions that I had in these couple of years. I promised to be more consistent with my art and practice regularly. I mean how I could let go of a hobby that would actually decide my career. I did some composition that day but yet my mind off somewhere else thinking about whether my friends are executing the plans that we have decided on. I thought to give them a call but then I really didn't want to keep myself hooked up those feelings and thoughts and decided to practice some self control. The next day Jasprit came rushing to me she told me that she told everything to Polumi and she stopped replying after that and Annupriya told me that she did called Harsh but he was continuously saying sorry and requesting is to not tell anything to his girlfriend. Well the deed is already done and I can't wait for them to break apart, hoping Harsh remains alone for the rest of his life. As I came out of school I saw Harsh standing there talking to his school friends and I tried to rush back in the opposite direction scared that he can make a scene. He suddenly called me from behind and didn't know what to do because I really didn't think that I have face him now but there he was standing infront of me and I had to face him but thankfully Jasprit came rushing and I had someone with me. He told me that I want to talk to you but I want really in the mood so he requested Harsh that we should go somewhere quiet and discuss about whatever happened. Annupriya also joined me by then and we went to a small park near the school and thankfully there was hardly anyone and even if someone spot us they wouldn't be able to make out what exactly is happening since we were standing in a group putting me hardly under any suspicion. He was saying that he is extremely sorry and wanted to sort things with me and he has already sorted things with Polumi and she is okay with whatever happened. I really didn't want to do anything with him but he insisted on the fact that I should forgive him and he friends with him but all this time I was only wondering how can Polumi be fine with whatever happens given that he was committed to her and still except him. After enough persistence we three gave up and just for the sake of ending the discussion I told him it is okay and we tried leaving as soon as possible because it was already getting late. I left with my friends and decided to call it a day and went straight home. Suprisingly it didn't hurt as much as I thought it would and I was chilling with my sister watching a movie and drinking Rasna a famous juice back then. It was crucial for me to take my mind off him but the fact that Harsh's girlfriend was actually okay and forgive him kind of shocked me because it wasn't something to move on so easily and I couldn't comprehend what was actually going on in her heart and mind to have been okay with such act. Anyway no matter how much I will think about it, nothing good will comes out of it so it was better for me to concentrate on my own self and enjoy as much as I could. Crushing on Aarav was much easier who by now have already changed 3 girlfriends and I couldn't get over one. I didn't want to fall for anyone now and be on my own but it wasn't easy and made me miserable. I was happy under my own bubble of Imagination and fantasy about me and Harsh and how things would be when he comes back and maybe this time I would get actual flowers and maybe go out for dinner but never imagined things taking such horrific turn and the fact that I would be cheated on was unthinkable. Maybe I am to native and easily manipulated but I shouldn't be this way even my Sunshine contradicts the current personality I am dealing with. I am Scorpio who basically manipulates people and get the work done so basically I should I played a nice mind game to break them apart and then make him suffer and this is how it would justify both myself and my Sunshine. But nothing worked out in my favor, I mean not even a percent of it and I was the one suffering in loneliness whereas they would be taking about how they are missing each other. "Enough" I said to myself and tried to watch the movie but time will only heal and all I can do is okay along.