Date 12

My joining date was from Mid August and I went there with my Mom and Dad. My office was really pretty as a Fancy Bungalow was renovated into our Design studio and we got many fancy goodies

and everyone in the office seemed nice. The best thing was we called everyone by their name even to our Head Designer and the Founder, which kind of made us into a better Team because we could openly discuss ideas with each other. Meanwhile, I found a good PG and the best thing about it was not the facility or food but my amazing roommate. She invited me into all her parties and house parties and initially didn't even allow me to pay. We had an amazing bonding and she used to invite me almost everywhere and after some time, her friends became my friends. And I used to party or go out with them every weekend, which was really awesome. There were different offices on the second floor and we were restricted to only the first floor and ground floor. Even my office colleagues were great and I used to go out with them during the weekdays and with my roommate during the weekend. There was a great difference in the work culture between this office and the last one. Here we came in time and left on time but in my last office there was no idea of leaving on time and though my previous Head Designer was really good to me and helped me become a good designer and I will always be grateful to her about that but in general, she was not a very good person and had very less empathy for her workers expect for me so I knew she would drain me completely if I continue working there so I joined this new company. We were working for a Bridal Collection and in three months' time, there will be a Fashion Show to embark the launch of our brand. So we were all given to work on separate collections and everything about my work was amazing. I was exactly doing what I wanted to do and I was very content with the kind of my Job Profile but not with the pay scale. An artist until and unless he has established himself is always underpaid and so is the scenario in our Country. But since I always wanted to be an entrepreneur it always motivated me to learn and not chase after money and thankfully my parents are supportive so I always had peace of mind no matter how lost I would be. The next day it was the birthday of my Roommate's best Dinesh and we were all invited to his party. I reached his house earlier with my roommate so that we could do the decoration before he was here and surprise him. He also invited a few of his friends who we had already asked to come a little earlier and there was this one guy Rohit who was hot but I had only met him once before at some party and this time we greeted each other but I wasn't sure if I wanted to date him because though he had all the qualities but yet he didn't seem like the person I could live with. So I wasn't taking much interest in him which was a good thing because my relationships are dinner to failure and the worst part is that though I have dated so many of them I always managed to stay single and Virgin and I am definitely not proud about it but at the same time amazed on how I am becoming a pro in relationship failure and zero outcomes. When I look back there is a pattern that is the same for every date that I have been to, I don't specifically click pictures with them, it hasn't lasted for more than two months in one go and I have never received any gifts from any of the dates. And this is the most common stuff that anyone who is dating for a week would do but it didn't happen that way for me which was kind of disappointing. I started looking at myself as someone who attracted people very easily but couldn't retain them so I wasn't sure if I could ever find The One and most importantly even if I do will I be able to keep him. These were the questions that often found storage in my head but then only time will give me answers and for me to interpret now would only be a waste of time.

We were all chilling the whole night but since my roommate drinks so much that after 3 pm she gives up and only a few of us are the last standing warriors who either have a high drinking capacity or hardly drink. Then, Dinesh, Rohit, and Rajiv planned to go out for a scooter ride and though I had no such interest in Rohit, I preferred sitting next to him on the Scooty but Dinesh made me sit behind him. But it didn't matter because it was really fun and we were literally riding through the streets and there are always people working on shifts so even during night the city is wide awake and hence it is pretty safe. Also, we went to a small stall and had tea and some snacks. Then we came back and Dinesh asked me to join him for a Lunch party at his office and since Rohit and Dinesh see in the same office so even he'd be there but then we all were so sleepy that I couldn't wait up the next morning plus Saturdays are working for me till the Fashion Show so I had to go for work. Next week we all went for a party and v then again came back to Dinesh's place and chilled till like 4 in the morning and Dinesh's third roommate was also here and he played on his guitar and we were all listening to him and it was so peaceful and I was really happy inside hoping for things to stay the way it is but and there is always a but it didn't and I will tell you how. Next week it was Rohit's birthday and we were all invited to his party and by now I was thinking that even if I date him a little there is no harm in it and I wouldn't say that he not giving any signs at all because I could see him favouring me a little as compared to his other friends which got me thinking that he might like me a little and that made me like him a little more. My roommate was going on a date with someone she met on Tinder and we helped her get ready but she told me not to mention it to any of her friends because she was not sure herself in how things would turn out with him. The next day she stayed at Dinesh's place and was asking me to come over but I had office the next day and was all tired so I didn't know and now I wish that I did. The day my roommate came with a bloated face and it looked like that she has cried for an entire night. I urgently asked her what is the matter and she was like I will tell you in the evening when you come back because we both had to leave for office. I insisted but she told me to let's talk in the evening but since I was really worried for her, I represent repeatedly told her to take care and eat something and even kept calling her in between from the office. I reached my PG as soon as I could and then waited for her and when she was back I asked her immediately if she was okay or not. Then she narrated the whole story that how Dinesh checked her phone and got to know that she went on a date and even went to her flat. Then Dinesh got furious that how can hide all this from him and my roommate, Meenal apologized for thousand of times but he was not ready to listen and repeatedly told her to get lost. I really felt that Dinesh was overreacting and since he already has a girlfriend, I didn't find a point in her is he behaving like that with Meenal and mostly his can he own her like this but I was pretty sure that things will get sorted because it was a very pitty issue. Rohit's birthday was already here and I told my Meenal that I might have a small crush on him and since she didn't want to go be because Dinesh might be there and insisted that I should go with Rajiv and Dinesh. The issue was that if Meenal didn't come then I will be the only girl and things might get a little awkward so I requested her to join us and even Rajiv told her the same. So after sometime, she agreed and joined us and Dinesh was also there but they were not talking so much. We went there, wished Rohit and everyone was having so much fun. Then Rohit started singing and I was amazed because he turned out to be a really good singer. Since Dinesh was kind of passed off her kept asking us to leave but Rohit didn't was to leave yet and he immediately asked me to take down his number and send him all the images that I told earlier that night. We were all dancing like crazy people and after that, we went to eat in a nearby cafeteria. It was already 2 in the night and since everyone had office the other day we left early and came back to our respective lodging. The next day when I came back from the office, Meenal di v seemed pissed off so I asked her what is the scene so she told me that Dinesh came near the Office and started making a scene especially about the night earlier. I didn't understand what was the matter with Dinesh and why he is trying to spoil everything and even personally I was worried because everything was going so perfectly. Then we didn't make any plan for almost two weeks because Dinesh would create a scene and then the next week he was not here so we planned for a house party. Everyone was excited because we haven't met in like two weeks and I was very excited because I wanted to see Rohit.

Parallelly there was a very weird incident unfolding back in my office because I was doing content writing simultaneity and the Main person who was investing in our company was a bit business tycoon and his office was on the top floor and he was opening 2-3 more companies and so he called me. Our founder took me for a quick meeting with him and he introduced himself and told me to work with him for a while. In the meantime, after a week he started texting and calling me which was weird but I had no idea how to sort this out and I tried ignoring him as much as I could. He even called me around 10 that night and I told him that I am meeting my friends so finally, he stopped calling me that day. The next day I went back to my office and told my Office Colleagues about it and they were like you are in such a good position that you can take advantage. I exactly know how a situation like this gets fucked up afterward and I was in no mood to be in any kind of trouble given my history and he is already in is the early 30s so obviously I had no interest otherwise. My birthday was also coming next week and I was not so excited because it only meant that I am officially getting a year older which is not a very good thing for me but obviously I can't stop time and only make the most of it. My sister seemed very excited about it and I felt that she might come and visit me for a surprise but then I wasn't so sure but sure my birthday is going to be expensive as I have to treat so many people that I am still counting. My roommate threw a small surprise for me a day before and I celebrated my 24th and the next day in the morning as I was about to leave my sister came and surprised me. I was so happy about it, I mean I wasn't expecting her honestly which made me so happy and I hugged her plus it has been already months that I have not seen her here. I didn't want to go to the office but had to do I promised her that I will be back for lunch and then again come early in the evening and then my sister was not happy with what I was wearing she had already both me a Birthday dress. Everybody wished me in the office and they wear planning a little surprise and Shai called me to wish me Happy Birthday. Honestly, I had no idea how he got to know that today is my birthday but he wished me and asked me whether I'd like chocolates and initially I said it is fine you don't have to buy then he insisted so I was like okay. Honestly, I was expecting maybe a box of assorted sweets, nothing more than that and why would I. The surprise was finally over and my Colleagues celebrated my birthday and in the middle of our celebration, Shai's staff came with 3 huge packets which had n numbers of chocolates, expensive pastries cake, and whatnot. My Owner asked me who it is for and he was like Shai has sent it so she called him up and Shai told it was for Sonal. I was shocked to receive this many chocolates and didn't know how to respond. Everybody was looking at me and it was really weird and then as I was about to leave Shai came in and asked me did I like the chocolates or not. I thanked him endlessly and showed gratitude towards his gesture and then we chatted for like an hour but I wanted to leave so bad because my sister was waiting for me. When I reached my room I saw that she hardly completely decorated it and there were in total 24 gifts to mark my 24th Birthday and since I was an hour late she slept on the surprise and I had to wake her up. Then I hugged her and showed her all the chocolates that Shai have me and she was like an I dreaming but it was so many that it felt unreal to her and honestly I hadn't even expected this. I opened all my gifts and then she was so curious that she started counting the total amount of chocolates that he sent me and it was around 266 dollars which is an insane amount in India. Then we went out for a cup of Tea and are something. I was supposed to take my roommate and her friend out for dinner but since I already had a long day and wanted to spend some quality time with my sister I rescheduled the plan and kept it for the weekends. My sister was here for the next 5 days and I was planning to take a leave for the coming Saturday and it would officially be my first leave in 4 months. We went to the movies the next evening and then went to this Japanese restaurant to eat Shaien but it wasn't so good and we were a little disappointed. I and my sister have a lot of common interests that range from Anime to Korean series and Asian food and it is very easy for us to get along but she had no such interest in dating and when I am at my almost 11th she is still not there anywhere near the scene. She has already made up her mind by now and would date only one guy and end up marrying him and if she is okay with that then great at least she is enjoying her youth and not wasting time on unnecessary heartbreaks. The next day I took a leave and went out with my office colleagues to a small party and gave them a treat. I am very mingy when it comes to spending money on other people who are not family but I can't think like that because it is my birthday treat but again I am very calculative about every penny that I spend. We had a great time and there was no stopping my sister from dancing like crazy and it felt like she was drunk and I joined her. In general, she is a little introverted and only opens up with people with who she is very comfortable. Then we went back to our PG and we watched a movie and ate chocolates which seemed so endless that I had no idea who is it getting over but my sister is here she told me not to worry and she would finish it all by herself. I felt like what if I resell them and can easily make like 180-200 dollars which didn't seem like a bad idea but I am not doing that. Things haven't yet sorted out between Meenal and Dinesh and she told me not to invite them because they are not on good terms now so I told her that at least I will treat you for now and later on we will see. She was okay with the idea and the next day we went to a good Restaurant and had amazing Indian food.

It was already time for my sister to leave and I was a little sad but okay she promised me that she will come back again in December and was excited to introduce her to my Roommate's friend. Next to that day, we had a small party at Rohit's place since Dinesh was going out of town and we planned for a small house party. As usual, it started with drinking and eating then we started dancing and in between Rohit had a crazy idea to go out and we all went with our Speakers in hand. Then we stopped at a nearby club and wanted to get in but because we were literally in our Pajamas they didn't let us in and I and Rohit entered from the back gate which was Surprisingly open and unattended. Then we started dancing when the bouncers spotted is and threw us out then we got so annoyed at him that we started dancing right outside the club with our Speakers playing all Punjabi songs. Then we left the place realizing that we have made the bouncers furious by now and we started dancing on the streets and it was the first time any one of us has ever done anything like that. Then around 4 in the morning, we went back to Rajiv's place and ate Maggi and after that when everyone was about to sleep Rohit texted me " "What's up?". I won't lie, I was kind of waiting for his text and he asked me if I'd like to go to the terrace with him and I said yes. Then we went to the Terrace and I asked him he would like to climb up the tank and he was like okay and helped me in climbing up and we sat together talking about random stuff and I asked him if he had a girlfriend and she told me, no but recently he had a break-up and I told him that it's been 8 months for me and I haven't dated anything since then. Then he started asking me all these questions about my work and I explained to him exactly what I do and how I do it. We climbed down and went for tea and after that, I directly went to my PG. We all wanted to plan again something the coming week but Dinesh was being a little skeptical and did a huge dShaia with my Meenal so even she was troubled and didn't feel like doing anything this week and we simply chilled. The next week we went for a party and Rohit and his friends were supposed to join us but since there were so late one of his friend suggested that we should go back to his place instead because everyone wanted to have more fun and not yet call it off. I was already very drunk not because I drank too much but because I had LIIT while we were waiting for them to come, and it was too much for me to handle and I was tripping all over and even Rohit was drunk. I came to his place and one of his friends was taking care of me and the other was looking after him. When we came back one of his friends took off my stilettos and helped me lie down and then covered me with a blanket and I dozed off. After an hour Rajiv came over to check on me and helped me take off my lens and the. I threw up in Rohit's room which was the worst thing I could do to them but I was not even in my sense to think about that. Then Rohit came and sat beside me and kept checking on me and after one and a half hour when I woke her was still there and asked me if I needed anything. Then he gave me his Track pants and Jacket because I was wearing a very short dress and I slept off again for an hour. Then I finally woke up and we all had a little fun but I was looking miserable and then Rohit took me out for a walk. Then when we came back everyone was already in a mood to sleep and then Rohit texted me if asking if I am still awake and I said yes then he came to my room and Meenal was already fast asleep so he slept beside me and we kind of cuddled each other and chatted for some time then I told him that if someone spotted is like this then it will be too weird and hence he left and slept on the other room. The next day was a Sunday and he asked me if I would like to go out with him for tea and I said yes and he picked me up and we chilled for like an hour and then he dropped me back at my PG. The next week it was Rajiv's birthday and we were all invited and even Dinesh was supposed to be there. Initially, Meenal was skeptical about joining them but then we decided to go because why should we be afraid of him. Then we went there Saturday and he was there but he left in like an hour and Meenal was relieved. Then Rohit took me to the Verandah and we had a conversation for some time and then celebrated Rajiv's birthday and when it was already 6 in the morning, everyone grabbed a spot in the house and started dozing off. Rohit told me that if I am not able to sleep then I can come over to his room and we can hang out and that is exactly what I did. Then we were lying down next to each other and he started coming closer to me and out of nowhere he kissed me. He wanted to grab my boobs but I didn't let him and then we kissed for some time and when it was already 7:30 I went back to my PG because I had an office that day. Reflecting my intuition was right and I didn't feel a thing with him and was not sure if I wanted to continue whatever is going on between us, so I started taking less interest and also didn't text him that much. The next day I told Meenal about it and she told Rajiv and Rajiv was not happy about it and told Rohit but to play with me and only date me if he is serious. The next weekend Rohit again invited us all to his place and I told him that there is something I'd like to talk to him about and he asked me if it is something serious to which I said no not like that. Then when around 3 in the morning when everyone became quieter and just going back to singing and talking, Rohit asked me to join him for a walk and I told him that I am not sure if I would like to continue this with you and it would be better if we started friends and he said he is okay with that. That same night he texted me asking if I am awake and I was but Meenal was sleeping like always and he came to my room and started talking to me. He told me that he thinks he had a fever and inserted of going back slept next to me and by that time Rajiv came over and asked us what is going on. Rohit told me nothing I was just talking to Sonal and went back to a different room and to make sure that he doesn't come back, Rajiv slept next to me and honestly, it was a very good thing that he did from his side.

Things in the office were going good but now we started working overtime as the dates for the fashion show were very near and it got very hectic and December was about to end so we all were excited about Christmas and New Year. My sister was visiting me for New Year and we planned to take no holiday for Christmas and directly take Holidays in bulk for New year. Meenal was going to her home for Christmas and thankfully my sister was here so we could have so much fun together having the room all to ourselves but also I wanted Meenal to stay but it was okay. We had a small party for Christmas in the office and spent the whole day decorating the Christmas Tree and then putting lights all over the office. Then we exchanged gifts and asked if Co-founder and Head Designer to cut the cake. After that, we played some party games and I was given a date to flirt with three guys who are not from my office. They were free friends of Srija who came to the party and I randomly picked the guys out of them. The first guy I knew because I did some content writing with him and the second guy was a struggling actor and he worked in a DShaia school and I liked him and the third guy I had no idea was Shai's younger brother and everyone used to call him Mr Mehta. He had also sent me a friend's request earlier but I had no idea that was this guy. I tried doing my part and then we all left for the party and we ate and came back a little early. The next day my HR called me and she is also friends with them and was asking me all about last night and then she jumped into the conversation of whether I have a Boyfriend or not?! Technically I didn't so I told her the same and then she smiled and told me that I can get back to work. I knew something was fishy but I couldn't exactly predict that who she is trying to link me up with. The next day my HR called me again and told me that Mr Mehta kind of likes me and she asked me to tell him a Hi. I was like that would be too weird and why would I do that because I don't even remember him properly then she told me no problem, I will tell him that I did it so pleased just once do it. I was kind of under pressure and told her that if something goes wrong then it would be her fault and she was ready to take the blame. Then I did as she asked and in a minute she got a call from him and he must have been like why did you do that and she was laughing and I was standing there not knowing how to react. Thankfully my Head Designer was looking for me and I immediately went to her. The next day my HR was distributing chocolates and she gave 5x times what she gave others telling me that it is from him and I took it. The next day was a holiday and I got a message from Mr Mehta asking me if I could join them for a party and I was skeptical because of I go then it would be too weird plus I was going to Rohit's place with my sister for New year's Eve. But later that evening Rohit kind of cancelled the plan and I have no idea why because they was no apologies made for it and I and my sister were stuck with no plan and I wanted to join Mr Mehta now but it wouldn't look good. So we went to watch the movie Frozen and then did some shopping and came back home and spent New Year's ever doing nothing and it was the worst. After that we watched a Murder Mystery and slept off and thankful at least we had each other. My sister left in like two days and I wasn't that was because we will be meeting again in like two months for our Mom and Dad's Anniversary and I had so much work at Office that I had no time to feel homesick or miss my family. Meanwhile, Mr Mehta's friends were asking me continuously to go to a party with them and I told them that if my Colleagues shows up then I have no issue. So to invite me in they invited all office members but my friend knew they were doing this so that I can come which made them unsure about turning up but I convinced them and they finally agreed. I came back home got ready and Mr Mehta's called me up saying they will pick me up and I was kind of happy about it. I got ready in like half an hour and they were exactly on time and I was sitting back with Alvin who was working with me for the content writing project. Then while on our way to the club one of my Colleague who was supposed to come called me and asked me if I have left and I said yes and they asked me with whom so I told them about these guys and he got annoyed because he thought that only one or two people are coming and he said they won't become. I got a little scared because of they won't come then I will be the only girl with all of them and that would be too weird so I tried explaining then the situation indirectly but they weren't interested and instead was shouting at me saying that I played them. Then the people I was going with carried them up and explained how I will be alone if they don't come but they didn't care and disconnected the call. Then these guys asked me if they should drop me back home because I might feel a little uncomfortable, to which I told them that it's fine let's just go inside and I feel any discomfort then I will tell you and you can drop me. We all day together on the best couch and Mr. Mehta was sitting in the middle, then I went to the washroom and told my mom everything and she was like be strong and have fun and if they are dropping you back then there is no harm in it and she was like since they are all from your office then there wouldn't be any problem. I haven't told you guys earlier but my mom is the coolest human being ever and yet she is the wisest and I always rely on her for all sorts of pieces of advice and she never fails me. She also knew about almost all my dates but not obviously with the complete facts and details but she always had an idea about whatever was going in my life. And I liked keeping my sister and mom a part of it. The night turned out to be so nice that I was glad that my colleagues didn't turn up and I got to know each one of them and how nice these people were. Them we were in the club till 2 and after that, we all left and they asked me if I want to do something else or they should drop me back and I was like let's go for tea not because I wanted to have tea but because I wanted to go on a drive with them and chill for some more time. And they decided to take me to the best tea stall which is like 45 miles away and while going back Mr Mehta was sitting with me at the back and he started asking the question about me and he told me that he wrote a poem about me in Telegu and asked his friend to narrate it to me and it was something about how pretty I am and that he adores me and stuff. Then he told something to his friend and he was like I am telling this to her obviously and closed the conversation off. Then I started dozing off and was almost half sleepy so he stretched my seat and or a seat belt around me and when I woke up we were in front of my PG and I am like where is my tea. Then Mr Mehta's friend who was driving told me that " Hey you don't say we drove 45 miles for you and then had to come back because you slept off" and I was like I am so sorry you guys should have woken me up and he was like don't worry about it and then I grabbed my bag and went to my PG and as I was looking for my keys I realized that I have left my phone and quickly went to the front balcony to tell them to stop the car and thankfully they already figured it out and Alvin was standing right outside with my phone and then the security guard came to give me and they told me they will wait as long as I don't go inside my room and then I texted him to leave and slept off. The other day my roommate told me that she was worried and called her in the night to check if I reached her since I was not picking up and I felt sorry for worrying then but since I was so tired that I almost forgot to drop a text. The next day was off and I almost slept for an entire day and on Monday I went back to the office and initially didn't feel like talking to my Colleagues because they ditched me last moment but making a scene had no point so I just behaved as if everything is okay and didn't say anything about what happened that night. But I started favouring Mr Mehta's friends more and started hanging out with them because they had their office on the 2nd floor so they used to come every day. Then I had some content writing work with Alvin and while we were working I asked him what Mr Mehta was saying that day and you denied translating it for me and he is like no no I can't say and all that stuff but I was no you have to tell me because it was related to me and was there so you have to tell me and then he was like please don't make any scene out of it but he told me if he had a possibility of marrying me in future and if I would like to do that and I was shocked because it was the first time I went out with him and honestly didn't know what to say when I told him to let's forget to you ever said this to me and pretend it never happened. Then after like an hour Mr Mehta came and sat next to us because he had some work with Alvin and I was feeling so awkward so I just told him that thanks for taking me out and he smiled at me.

I was going to my home for 10 days because of my Mom and Dad's 25th Marriage Anniversary celebration which was a grand event and all its family members from my Mom and Dad's side were coming and we were very excited for the function. Then after the event, we went for a mini-vacation to a nearby Sea beach and it was very peaceful and then came back and had my flight to Vishakapatnam the very next day. I directly came to the office from the airport and greeted everyone with a Hi and distributed sweets among everyone. And since the much-awaited Fashion show was 10 days away, we started working even on Sundays and used to go back around 10 in the night. So basically for the next 10 days, it was all work and no play but let me tell you a secret, even work was all fun. Finally, the show day was here and we haven't also for the past two days but we forgot every pain and address the show was done we were all dancing and drinking like crazy people. The next two days were a holiday and the next day I woke up at 5 in the evening ordered food and then sleep again. Then I couldn't get up for dinner and woke up the next morning. Rajiv took a new flat and my roommate was mostly staying at his place and till now I haven't realized because of all the work pressure that was put upon us but immediately the next day I started getting bored and went some grocery shopping. Then finally the office resumed and I was more excited about the next party we will be going to with Mr Mehta and his friends but there was a concern nation-wide and it was related to some virus called "COVID-19" which has already been spreading rapidly at European countries and there were few cases already in India and recently one case got detected in Vishakapatnam. So it was aroused to not go into any public place and stay indoors. Meanwhile, within one week a lot of cases started getting detected in Bangalore and Kerela and all colleges are shutting down and same was the case with my sister's College and she went home and after two days she started telling me that how she has a strong intuition that even I will be coming very quickly. I was like obviously not because I just took leave and the offices are definitely not shutting down. After a week few cases were detected in Vishakapatnam and officers started shutting down and the next day we heard from one of our Colleagues that PGs are getting closed and they are asking people to vacate as per government orders. Then we called out respective PG and the news was true and then there was a panic mode among all of us and my parents asked me to come back. The next day we were discussing and told our HR and even or head Designer was very skeptical so after a lot of discussions we were given an unpaid Holiday for a month and the Owner said that she will pay us the Compensation when we come back. We agreed because honestly, we had no other option and then booked our tickets for the next days and one of Mr Mehta's friends was like we might have to stay to May at our home because the COVID situation might not go so easily and we were all laughing and was like that is too late because it is only March and now the joke's on us. The next day I packed my bags and my sister was like how she was right and very excited to have me back and even I was excited that we will get to spend a month together like old times. I still thank God that I came back right on time because after two days the entire Nation went under Lockdown and stayed like that for the next three months. It was amazing honestly because we so much together as a family but I felt bad for people who were suffering so it was not completely fun but as a family, we got to spend some quality time. After three months the government started giving relaxation and we could finally go out but with a lot of precaution and it seemed easier to stay at home instead because we were still not quite adjusted with wearing a mask. After exactly five months my work from home started and thankfully I started getting paid because then I can also spend on myself and help my parents financially.