Lectured By Death (2)

We arrive back at the house to plan the day.

"Dungeon?" I ask.

""Dungeon."" I get an immediate response from the girls, so that's quickly settled. We put on our new equipment and move around to try them out. It feels a bit stiff and doesn't quite fit, but overall, it should be fine. We take turns adjusting each other's sizing straps to make the armor as comfortable as possible. After about an hour, we're all satisfied enough to head into the woods.

"Should we wear our robes?"

"It's probably for the best; I don't want to attract attention with our new armor," I answer Shinobu while glancing at Sakura to get her approval. She nods, and we all head upstairs. The excitement in the air is palpable; we're all so pumped to try out our new weapons that we're practically running to the gate. We stride past the gate and soon break out into a race for the woods. With the oppressive clouds hanging over the town, entering the forest feels like stepping out of a cage. We burst past the tree line and tear through the undergrowth. Sakura wins the race to the fort with her elevated stats and agility boost. Shinobu is next; although my base agility is higher than hers, the additional stats she gains from her armor is enough to surpass me. I finish without losing my breath, and we all wait for Josh. The endurance boost from my armor allows me to run near full speed without getting tired. The last to report is Josh; he stumbles up to the mouth of the cave gasping for breath. With a steel kit, he's probably carrying at least eighty pounds on him. It would appear the strength boost he receives does little to offset the burden.

"You alright, Josh?" He's crouching with one hand on the ground to rest.

"It's heavy," he gasps.

"Do you want to take a break?"

"No. It's good training." I'm surprised by his response, especially when he looks at me with a grin. I can't help but smile back as he continues. "I'll need to get used to it anyway."

While we're talking, Inari's voice booms through the trees.

"Who dares enter my domain?" I don't know how she does it, but it sounds like the voice is coming from all directions. She may be the greatest ventriloquist of all time.

"Hi." I wave with a goofy smile on my face.

"You dare mock me?!" Her voice rises to a thundering pitch.

"I feel like it was a pretty normal greeting. I'm sorry if you thought otherwise."

"… You know, it's really hard to keep this act up when you're like that."

"I don't know what you're talking about," I say with a laugh. "I'm just saying hello."

Inari floats out from between the trees with her hand on her face; I can tell she's trying not to smile.

"You really should be more careful running into the forest with new equipment like that. The last time humans wandered in here with similar garb, they were hunting my fairies. You almost got blasted."

"Oh, my bad. Thanks for not murdering us, I guess."

"Of course, and I assume you are heading to the dungeon, yes?"

"What gave you that idea?" I ask as I raise an eyebrow.

"Oh, I don't know; the new armor, the excitement, you three yammering endlessly about how much you can't wait to go to the dungeon."

"That makes sense. Want to join us?"

"I would, but I'm a bit busy preparing for a war at the moment."

"We'd love to have you."

"Well, if you're going to twist my arm, then I suppose I could make room in my busy schedule."

"You... weren't actually busy, were you?" I ask as Inari flies past me in the direction of the dungeon.

"If you spend all day asking stupid questions, then we won't have time to go on an adventure." She deflects, and I let it slide. Inari has been really stressed with the war preparations recently; it's refreshing to see her so jovial. The four fairies that normally join us tag along as well.

"Last one there is stinky!" Sakura bolts, and everyone else quickly follows. I see the distress on Josh's face and decide to hang back with him. After just arriving at the den, the idea of running all the way to the dungeon, a distance twice as far as the fort is from the town, Josh is understandably gloomy.

"You want me to carry your sword?" He shakes his head, and we begin our mini-marathon. Josh holds it together for the most part but stumbles a couple of times along the way. The helmet he's wearing partially blocks his vision which is something he'll have to get used to. The gang greets us at the mouth of the dungeon full of smiles; it appears they met a squad of goblins upon their arrival, given the numerous corpses lying about. I take out one of my stamina potions and give it to Josh so he can recover a bit. He's a little worse for wear, but our confidence is running high with the combination of our new equipment and the tiny god coming along with us. Hai being kind enough to gather some berries around the area, we have a quick bite to eat. I don't understand how they survived the cold weather, but I decide not to ask questions.

"Let's go!" Sakura's so excited that she's running circles around our little camp.

"Okay, okay, everyone, check your load out one more time, and we'll get moving." The kids follow my advice and check their belts. We're all fully equipped except for the potion I used earlier, so we begin our descent.

It isn't long before we meet our first monster. Josh takes the front to engage, but all the tension drops when Inari bisects it with one wave of her hand. She brushes it off and urges us forward.

"We've got more important things to do. We can't be wasting our time on small fry like this." We silently walk past the dead Metapardus. Our once epic battle, our chance at vengeance, has been reduced to a puddle on the ground. The next several encounters end just as anticlimactic as the first. A monster appears, Inari casts a spell, and the monster dies. Compared to our normal dungeon explorations, this is almost boring. I'm curious why she wanted to join us on our journey if she was just going to kill everything, so I bring it up. She just tells me not to worry about it and continues her indomitable conquest. After the eleventh or twelfth encounter, the initial shocking display of power is replaced by boredom. It gets so bad that Sakura and Hai start chatting; the short blasts of magic become mere breaks in the conversation. I offer to collect some of the usable materials from her victims, but Inari tells me to just ignore them. The steady march turns tedious, and I begin to feel anxious.

To make things worse, Inari smiles while looking down at the passage in front of us. My fears are realized when the small tunnel opens into a massive underground cavern. My heart drops. Strange-looking trees covered in vines fill the area. The cries of monsters fighting and dying make my stomach turn over. Every fiber of my being is telling me to escape.