A Lonely Silence (2)

"Woohee's here!" she cries as she flies out from one of the buildings at the center of the fortress.

"There you are–" My words are cut off when I notice her stiff expression. She's forcing a smile, and her clothes look unkempt; even her hair is messy.

[War is no place for children. Unfortunately, it will grind them up without a second thought. No one can hide from its maw.]

I examine her momentarily as I piece together what I want to say. She's clearly hurting but doesn't want me to know. I can comfort her at most, but this is one battle she needs to fight for herself.

"I see you've been working hard."

"Yes, Woohee has been working very, very hard." She almost shouts at me, which likely means she isn't speaking to just myself.

"I know you're not built for this, and I know you're doing your best. War is cruel. I… everyone here realizes how much effort you're putting into your work. You need to keep your head up. This is only temporary. We'll be back to hanging out around the forest before you know it." Big puppy dog tears begin forming in her eyes or at least big relative to her size. She flies up and hugs my neck while sobbing.

"Do you really mean it?"

"Of course," I say as I gently rub her head with my finger. I glance at Inari and see her lips pursed tight into a straight line. Several pieces of the puzzle seem to fall into place. "Isn't that right? Inari?"

I realize I'm pushing her to lie, but I can't sit still and do nothing while Woohee sobs on my shoulder.

"Just show me how those machines work," Inari responds flatly as she flies away.

"I've got to go now. Stay strong, okay?" Woohee sniffs back her tears and pulls away. There's a tragic beauty that comes with adversity. I can't help but grin when I see her eyes fill with newfound determination.

"Okay, Woohee will do her best."

"I know you will." I rub her head one more time before climbing over the wall and entering the fairy fortress. In order to avoid feeling disoriented by the bizarre surroundings, I focus on following Inari's visage.

"I've seen you and your friends use this equipment for some time, but I don't know exactly the purpose of each exercise," Inari says as she circles above the miniature weight-lifting equipment.

"Do fairies have similar anatomy to humans?" I ask as I realize I probably should have figured this out before the equipment was made.

"Yes, our muscle and bone structures are similar." She responds. This also implies that other aspects of their anatomy are different, but I choose not to dig any further.

"Okay, each exercise is designed to target different muscle groups, so let's go over those." I spend the next few hours explaining what little I know about weight lifting to the Fairy Leader. Having seen us workout regularly over the last few months, she has a surprisingly strong grasp of the basic concepts but asks for clarification on numerous points, which I do my best to explain.

"Is this going to help?" I ask cautiously after I finish my explanation.

"Probably not." I spin my head around in shock at her response.

"Then why–"

"You kids have changed a lot in the last few months, and I think it has a lot to do with this here." Inari gestures towards the bench on the ground. "Honestly, none of you have gotten all that much stronger, but your mentality has become more resilient and tenacious."

Inari pauses as she thinks about what to say next.

"You know, I was there the whole time."

"When?"

"When you were fighting those horse monsters." The blood drains from my face as I recall my confrontation with the hell horses. The Equuivores attacked like the physical incarnation of death. "I wanted to see them kill you. I wanted to watch the humans that I fear so much die at the hands of this forest."

I look up at Inari, stunned.

"I know I was being selfish, but watching your formation being ripped apart by a couple of creatures that I wouldn't even consider a threat is too satisfying." My mind races as I try to piece together what I'm being told.

[Is she about to kill me? No, there aren't any benefits to doing that. But there aren't any benefits to telling me this either. Is she threatening me? She knows I'm fully aware of how powerful she is, so that doesn't make sense. It's as if she's confessing this to me out of guilt. How much stress must she be under to need an outlet? I've never known her to do anything that didn't work towards her own goals. She thinks, no, she knows she's going to lose this war.]

I steady my breathing and bring my thoughts back to the present. Inari pauses and allows me to collect my thoughts. I glance around and see the dread in the eyes of the fairies around me. It's clear that they're also aware of their situation. A genocide. By the end of the month, I'll never be able to see any of these eyes again. My heart aches, but I try to hold it together. Now isn't the time to grieve. We still have work to do.

"It's that bad, huh?" I'm sure the leader of the fairies will know what I mean, even though my words are vague.

"It's worse." The air stills as the village ceases all activity and focuses its attention on us. Hundreds of eyes are looking at me with dread and a faint glimmer of hope. All I want to do is run away and cry. Cry for the children that will be lost in this senseless war and cry for my inability to do anything about it.

"Why did you change your mind? Why did you save us?" I ask. Inari collects her thoughts for a moment before speaking.

"The larger of the two horses knocked you back into a tree." Inari takes a breath. "I could see the blood dripping down your face; you had one foot in the grave. Why did you stand back up?"

"I don't know. I had to do something."

"There was nothing you could do, you were all going to die, and you all knew it." Inari's voice begins to rise. "Why did you stand back up?"

"I couldn't just watch my friends die. I had to try something, anything." I think back on my calm acceptance of death which sends a chill down my spine.

"Do what? The most you could have done is run away to save your own skin. Fighting that thing only meant dying along with the others. There was no chance any of you could have beaten those horses! So, why did you stand back up?!" Inari is nearly shouting at this point. I can feel the fear in her voice as she struggles to understand my decision."

"I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I left everyone behind."

"It was the only chance you had to live."

"Even if I could only hit it one more time, I had to fight. I had to try." I say firmly.