Chapter 9 Easy Come Easy Go.

When we finished eating I insisted on washing the dishes at least, and as usual, they let it pass but someone who came to help me was my older brother who had decided to help me rinse. And since we had not seen him for a long time, I could not refuse his help and we began to wash the dishes with a strange discomfort ... To remove the awkward silence I wanted to discuss a specific topic with him but...

- And tell me how—

- I wanted…

We interrupted each other, said we said it at the same time, and just laughed a little.

- Well, what did you want to tell me, my little white dove?

- YA-I'm too old for you to call me that way!

- But you did like when you were little that I called you that.

- Even if you're right, that happened a long time ago.

- Hey, do you remember when there were three 1st year bullies!?

-I don't remember much but what I do know is that I fought with one of them because he had called you a decrepit dwarf or something like that...

- Ow!! That hurt more than the kick that day.

- He he if I think so—

While I was soaping up one of the dishes, I was going to raise my head to let my memories flow but when I saw the scars on my brother's left arm, it made me remember that of the kidnapping ... The student was an accomplice and had a mark on his face but the real culprit was the four eyes of the Director who has simple views seemed harmless even so he was crazy. Back then I just thought, was he serious!? Will I meet him again!! ??

With the fear that he had in his body, his hands were shaking and his face was white, his pulse low and the plate he was holding slipped from his hands so that the sound of that broken plate, made him react to support himself from the back counter while his heart was in his mouth.

- Fefnir is you ok—?

My brother approached me in response to my state and put his hand on my hand but I only rejected his gesture of kindness for the simple fact that he was self-protecting me.

He looked at me with a very sad face as he slowly lowered his gaze, I wanted to apologize to him but I felt the knot in my throat and my brother turned his back on me thinking he would leave but something different happened he turned around I glanced at his fist and then he ran to me and ...

- AUCH!!! WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!!!

- Because you pissed me off!

Yup, he had hit me with a head butt and it hurt a lot! Having to cover my forehead with both hands and I think that if I looked in the mirror it would be all red and with a big bump I wanted to cry from the pain of the blow but I did not want him to be uncomfortable when he saw me cry like that afternoon in the room.

- What do you mean by that??!!

- Don't think I'm stupid! I saw you were just acting fine! Like that time!

- I-I don't know what you are-

- When we were kids! At dinner today! You have not changed at all! And that pisses me off!!

- You can't force me how to live my life!!!

- I just want you to vent, I don't want to see you pretend to be happy when you had a trauma!!! That is not healthy for you!!!

- What do you know about my brother!!? That you left since you turned 18 to that fucking militia saying that you would visit us more often to take care of us from danger but it was all a lie!!!

- I tried but things did not go as expected!!!

- Then you wouldn't have made any promises!!

At that moment my older brother sour his face with eyes on the verge of tears, he pressed his lips to get away from my personal space and when he reached the left door to the corridor he turned his head to the right while a tear was observed on his face:

- Forgive me for not arriving on time ... But even with all this, you know that I love you, little brother...

And there he left without wanting to stop him.

I was left washing the few dishes, they were left with great sadness for what happened and my tears could not be contained because I knew that he was not to blame.

Raven hearing Fefnir crying was going to go to the kitchen to comfort him but his mother stopped him to put a serious face and shake his head and lowered his head sadly.

And after a while, I was alone and finished washing the dishes to look at the sky and see through the window.

As the night approached, the sunset was the only one that calmed me down even so... I felt that this was just my way of self-pity for everything I did not know about myself or because all that remained of my memories were more traumatic than happy.

- I'll go to bed.

The sun disappeared and the night turned into stars that only brought me back to the greatest fear ... Sleeping and never waking up or waking up and someone in this house or on the outskirts no longer does it. That fills me with an unknown regret, making my traumas only look like ants.

I turned off the lights and I went to bed with a lot of helplessness in my mind, why am I like this? I asked myself but no one answered me. Why, if there are more things that a man can be or do, so he chooses to do the things that hurt others the most?