Review Detail of The_Jeffinator in Shadow Slave: Warrior of Will
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This probably doesn't qualify as fanfiction. Maybe this is somebody else's cup of tea, but personally I don't like when an author spends more time vicariously talking trash about the original characters through the mouth of their cookie cutter Gary stu, than bothering to get their terminology and lore right. The main character here is just a deuche, a low effort, and poorly written one, but overall just a trashy personality. No nuance there. Then, when the mc contracts the nightmare spell, and enters his first nightmare the author keeps calling him a sleeper and saying he's in the dream realm. The guy enters and just automatically gets three free memories. Not, he had to kill so much as a baby squirrel, no, he just had them like taking the role of a foot soldier would just give him that. Forget that the ancient warriors of the dream realm, which the nightmares are based on the history of, didn't have memories... Followed by more pointless jabs at sunny and his first nightmare just to make this bland, boring warrior character that's just completely in love with himself. Just why? What was the point? Work on the character writing because what you've written doesn't qualify to be called it's own character, rather it's just a low effort puppet for the authors biases on the original work, which this piece reads like they barely skimmed it.
Shadow Slave: Warrior of Will
BlueHeimOcean
Beliebt bei 1 Personen
MÖGENAntworten3
The_Jeffinator:1, Your character, named raian, jokes about how stupid it would have been if his mom named him rain, even though your character was named after the same meteorological event. Furthermore, he made light of the very same things sunny complained about in his nightmare. Freezing to death and climbing a mountain with no supplies. Even said something about not wanting to trip like an idiot being the reason he didn't summon his runes during the climb. 2. Character writing isn't something you put off until later. It begins from the moment you introduce them. From their attitude, to what they're wearing, to small reactions to the things going around them to show their underlying traits. 3. He is in his first nightmare, which is an illusion of a historical event of one of the peoples of the dream realm. He is not in the dream realm, and his rank is Aspirant. A sleeper already has their first aspect ability, while an aspirant only has the innate skills and abilities of their aspect. It's not like I rated your work 1 star. It certainly isn't something I'd go around telling everybody that it was bad. And there are works that are that bad. I understand if you think my review was unfair. Afterall, everyone has their biases and I've been told before that I can be too harsh. But at least on my end, I stand by what I said.
1, Your character, named raian, jokes about how stupid it would have been if his mom named him rain, even though your character was named after the same meteorological event. Furthermore, he made light of the very same things sunny complained about in his nightmare. Freezing to death and climbing a mountain with no supplies. Even said something about not wanting to trip like an idiot being the reason he didn't summon his runes during the climb. 2. Character writing isn't something you put off until later. It begins from the moment you introduce them. From their attitude, to what they're wearing, to small reactions to the things going around them to show their underlying traits. 3. He is in his first nightmare, which is an illusion of a historical event of one of the peoples of the dream realm. He is not in the dream realm, and his rank is Aspirant. A sleeper already has their first aspect ability, while an aspirant only has the innate skills and abilities of their aspect. It's not like I rated your work 1 star. It certainly isn't something I'd go around telling everybody that it was bad. And there are works that are that bad. I understand if you think my review was unfair. Afterall, everyone has their biases and I've been told before that I can be too harsh. But at least on my end, I stand by what I said.
BlueHeimOcean:maybe try reading till chap 22? until first nightmare ends? also i didnt trashtalk main cast. never tried to. why talk about character writing when u only read till chapter 6. what is the correct terminology and lore? isnt it dreamrealm?