Review Detail of Pythia in Seraphim Princess of DXD
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It's very rare to come across a book, that not only does everything wrong, but does so in a manner that makes the writer seem incomparably inane. I can only say congratulations for giving me a piece of work i can read and say: "Yeah, i'll avoid making all those mistakes." . . . So, unironically, thank you.
Seraphim Princess of DXD
Lambhendelta
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And, just so you know, the seven deadly sins are derived from the christian text 'The Book of Proverbs' they are a direct and parallel devision of God's hated sins that any resemblance results in banishment. I.e becoming a fallen angel. Gabriel would be a fallen angel by this books ridiculous and rightly insulting logic. This is coming from an atheist too. This is general knowledge. My mind is blown by this idiocy.
The book of proverbs was not what I was talking about, I was talking about the bible mostly (though I admit I could have worded it better in some responses.) And in any case the seven deadly sins actually come from the eight evil thoughts which was created in the fourth century compared to the proverb you're citing from the 6th century so... also with how often the sins were changed around back then are they really all that credible? All in all I'm just saying that my statement is correct when I say that "It is not mentioned in the bible therefore it is not as credible." Though it's not like I completely care if they're credible since I use them anyways. Also why would Gabriel be a Fallen Angel? She hates Devils and thats about it... The fact that Devils and Angels went to war means that they had to have killed one another so is it strange that they would have bad blood?
Pythia:And, just so you know, the seven deadly sins are derived from the christian text 'The Book of Proverbs' they are a direct and parallel devision of God's hated sins that any resemblance results in banishment. I.e becoming a fallen angel. Gabriel would be a fallen angel by this books ridiculous and rightly insulting logic. This is coming from an atheist too. This is general knowledge. My mind is blown by this idiocy.
Does everything wrong? That's not very specific. Could you please narrow down a few points? I mean though you are a bit rude and perhaps arrogant I actually enjoy criticism and I haven't been getting enough proper good faith stuff so please tell me where I can improve and thank you! (Also if you only read the first few chapters I will admit that they aren't exactly my best work. I'm new and the beginning/ending to a story are always the hardest to write. At least for me.)
The fact you made an angel "Hate" and you still need answering should ,no offence, be your answer.... I seriously can't sit here and explain to you how angels work as you'll start going through Sumerian, Babylonian, Amorite, Islamic, Biblical, and even Hebrew variants, in order to get your desired point across. End of the day, every action your "angels" take would result in punishment. I think the number one rule of no reproduction is a clear sign of what went wrong... and then making Gabriel a mother....with a human.
Lambhendelta:The book of proverbs was not what I was talking about, I was talking about the bible mostly (though I admit I could have worded it better in some responses.) And in any case the seven deadly sins actually come from the eight evil thoughts which was created in the fourth century compared to the proverb you're citing from the 6th century so... also with how often the sins were changed around back then are they really all that credible? All in all I'm just saying that my statement is correct when I say that "It is not mentioned in the bible therefore it is not as credible." Though it's not like I completely care if they're credible since I use them anyways. Also why would Gabriel be a Fallen Angel? She hates Devils and thats about it... The fact that Devils and Angels went to war means that they had to have killed one another so is it strange that they would have bad blood?
Sure, rude i admit. I'm tired of reading illogical and downright insulting garbage on this site. Arrogant? Not at all. I admitted to being capable of making the very same mistakes as you...
Lambhendelta:Does everything wrong? That's not very specific. Could you please narrow down a few points? I mean though you are a bit rude and perhaps arrogant I actually enjoy criticism and I haven't been getting enough proper good faith stuff so please tell me where I can improve and thank you! (Also if you only read the first few chapters I will admit that they aren't exactly my best work. I'm new and the beginning/ending to a story are always the hardest to write. At least for me.)
This is DxD not like whatever you're trying to talk about. The term "Miracle Child" exists in DxD and what is a "Miracle Child?" A Human Angel Hybrid. They are called this because Angels generally cannot reproduce or else they will fall down HOWEVER through ritual and pure love they can, in fact, have a child with a Human. Also the whole "HATE" thing. Mmm. I get where you're coming from but it's explained in the story that in this canon Angels only fall down when they go against their principles by doing something they believe to be wrong. For most Angels who have low egos and a small sense of self they will simply follow the words God left behind but for the Seraphs and the like they can simply live by their own codes of conduct. Also, God in DxD canon hates Dragons and Snakes so why can Angels not hate the things God does? Do you think God in DxD would not hate Devils?
Pythia:The fact you made an angel "Hate" and you still need answering should ,no offence, be your answer.... I seriously can't sit here and explain to you how angels work as you'll start going through Sumerian, Babylonian, Amorite, Islamic, Biblical, and even Hebrew variants, in order to get your desired point across. End of the day, every action your "angels" take would result in punishment. I think the number one rule of no reproduction is a clear sign of what went wrong... and then making Gabriel a mother....with a human.image
Unfortunately, you do in fact come across as a bit arrogant with your grandiose statements though perhaps that could just be me. Also I'm still waiting for the things I did wrong. I'm serious about wanting to get better as a writer you know? So I need to know where I can improve.
Pythia:Sure, rude i admit. I'm tired of reading illogical and downright insulting garbage on this site. Arrogant? Not at all. I admitted to being capable of making the very same mistakes as you...
Yeah, we're done. There's no point. Comparing god to his angels is actually beyond all hope. AND, There's no such thing as a 'miracle child' in DxD within this circumstance ffs. That's on the FANDOM made by idiots with too much time on their hands. So, in turn, they make up pretend characters to fit their self-conscious bubbles off, evidently, idiots. If you're referring to Teodoro Legrenzi, and applying that to Gabriel, then i'm truly speechless. Ya know what? It's not worth it. Good luck with the rest, bud.
Lambhendelta:This is DxD not like whatever you're trying to talk about. The term "Miracle Child" exists in DxD and what is a "Miracle Child?" A Human Angel Hybrid. They are called this because Angels generally cannot reproduce or else they will fall down HOWEVER through ritual and pure love they can, in fact, have a child with a Human. Also the whole "HATE" thing. Mmm. I get where you're coming from but it's explained in the story that in this canon Angels only fall down when they go against their principles by doing something they believe to be wrong. For most Angels who have low egos and a small sense of self they will simply follow the words God left behind but for the Seraphs and the like they can simply live by their own codes of conduct. Also, God in DxD canon hates Dragons and Snakes so why can Angels not hate the things God does? Do you think God in DxD would not hate Devils?
Uhh well okay I guess? I mean I didn’t know who you were talking about before but I looked him up and… he’s definitely canon I mean he’s cited as appearing in volume 19 of the light novel and if you cross check it it all comes out clear… Also relating God to his Angels isn’t far fetched since he made them to follow his will directly… like if you hate lizards and build a robot, wouldn’t you perhaps program the robot to kill lizards on sight or something if that nature? (How do you do any research on shows and manga if you don’t even trust the well organized official fandom wiki at least a little bit? It’s kinda wild.)
Pythia:Yeah, we're done. There's no point. Comparing god to his angels is actually beyond all hope. AND, There's no such thing as a 'miracle child' in DxD within this circumstance ffs. That's on the FANDOM made by idiots with too much time on their hands. So, in turn, they make up pretend characters to fit their self-conscious bubbles off, evidently, idiots. If you're referring to Teodoro Legrenzi, and applying that to Gabriel, then i'm truly speechless. Ya know what? It's not worth it. Good luck with the rest, bud.
Listing for my time and sanity: 1. Every character is ridiculously OOC 2. No logic is followed so the entire fabric and rules of the world is now dispensed. 3. Gabriel as mother. I'll say no more on that subject... 4. Being so narrow minded to allow Angels to "Hate" without repercussion. 5. A personal issue. The attempts of humour are tragically timed and express a narrative atmosphere of lacksiyal ignorance. 6. A lazy protagonist.... that's an angel. Half fallen/angel, sure. 7. Structure is well-fitted for a mummers play, not a novel. 8. No reasoning in emotional or plot related developments. 9. Relations are shallows and un-meaningful. You should aim for your readers to have an empathetic connection with characters, so we can 'feel' and react as intended. Everything that happens or is insinuated, i went 'Oh no, anyway." I could go on, but i'd feel a little cruel then. The effort is there and that's very admirable. However, the changes made are so inanely moronic it ruins all effort you made, purely from the preconceived notion of your stories premise.
Lambhendelta:Unfortunately, you do in fact come across as a bit arrogant with your grandiose statements though perhaps that could just be me. Also I'm still waiting for the things I did wrong. I'm serious about wanting to get better as a writer you know? So I need to know where I can improve.
Pythia:Listing for my time and sanity: 1. Every character is ridiculously OOC 2. No logic is followed so the entire fabric and rules of the world is now dispensed. 3. Gabriel as mother. I'll say no more on that subject... 4. Being so narrow minded to allow Angels to "Hate" without repercussion. 5. A personal issue. The attempts of humour are tragically timed and express a narrative atmosphere of lacksiyal ignorance. 6. A lazy protagonist.... that's an angel. Half fallen/angel, sure. 7. Structure is well-fitted for a mummers play, not a novel. 8. No reasoning in emotional or plot related developments. 9. Relations are shallows and un-meaningful. You should aim for your readers to have an empathetic connection with characters, so we can 'feel' and react as intended. Everything that happens or is insinuated, i went 'Oh no, anyway." I could go on, but i'd feel a little cruel then. The effort is there and that's very admirable. However, the changes made are so inanely moronic it ruins all effort you made, purely from the preconceived notion of your stories premise.
Lambhendelta:Uhh well okay I guess? I mean I didn’t know who you were talking about before but I looked him up and… he’s definitely canon I mean he’s cited as appearing in volume 19 of the light novel and if you cross check it it all comes out clear… Also relating God to his Angels isn’t far fetched since he made them to follow his will directly… like if you hate lizards and build a robot, wouldn’t you perhaps program the robot to kill lizards on sight or something if that nature? (How do you do any research on shows and manga if you don’t even trust the well organized official fandom wiki at least a little bit? It’s kinda wild.)
I mean. What crack are you smoking to know god's system is a thing and then spout all the drivel you've concocted in these comments?
Lambhendelta:What do you mean?
I feel as though I have explained myself perfectly. I think perhaps that you just aren't understanding or you're simply not trying to understand. Unfortunately, while I'd like to continue this conversation I have no Internet at the moment and am using up data so I need to go. Have a nice day.
Pythia:I mean. What crack are you smoking to know god's system is a thing and then spout all the drivel you've concocted in these comments?
Lambhendelta:I feel as though I have explained myself perfectly. I think perhaps that you just aren't understanding or you're simply not trying to understand. Unfortunately, while I'd like to continue this conversation I have no Internet at the moment and am using up data so I need to go. Have a nice day.
I brought up a cannon character who had extreme circumstances that led to his creation. not birth. And it resulted in both parents dying due to the angel bypassing god's system of no reproduction. The fact you didn't even know said character existed is reason enough to believe you're writing about a world you clearly don't understand.
Lambhendelta:Uhh well okay I guess? I mean I didn’t know who you were talking about before but I looked him up and… he’s definitely canon I mean he’s cited as appearing in volume 19 of the light novel and if you cross check it it all comes out clear… Also relating God to his Angels isn’t far fetched since he made them to follow his will directly… like if you hate lizards and build a robot, wouldn’t you perhaps program the robot to kill lizards on sight or something if that nature? (How do you do any research on shows and manga if you don’t even trust the well organized official fandom wiki at least a little bit? It’s kinda wild.)
Didn’t want to respond since I really am wasting Data (Check Chapter 55’s author notes if you think that for some reason I’m running away… from a conversation… over the… uhh internet…) But to my knowledge after doing just minuscule amount of research and cross referencing… Devils killed his parents and he even seems to hold actual animosity towards them given that he claims that he can’t forgive them, since… they killed his parents. Also I guess shame on me for not reading 19 volumes of a light novel and memorizing every single character I guess…
Pythia:I brought up a cannon character who had extreme circumstances that led to his creation. not birth. And it resulted in both parents dying due to the angel bypassing god's system of no reproduction. The fact you didn't even know said character existed is reason enough to believe you're writing about a world you clearly don't understand.