Reading this story made me think of many questions. I really want to know how this man just gets by just from cheating his way out of things, and how he even achieved a computer science degree with all his unethical activities. Moving on to the story, I really enjoyed it. However, I do have some suggestions; Your synopsis needs improvement. I just skimmed through it because it doesn’t catch one’s attention. In fact, I only came to understand more of your story reading the actual novel. One more suggestion is to give your MC a personality that matches his schemes of continuous cheating. Perhaps make him a bit mischievous and a prankster, literally anything. Add some emotion to his lines, perhaps some exclamations here and there, and laughing. Example: “I chuckled as I look back on how I managed to cheat my way across different games with utmost ease.” First-person perspective stories are hard to nail, so I understand. Anyhow I enjoyed reading your novel and added it to my collections. These are just my two cents so far, so I hope you can take these with a grain of salt since I’m just a newbie writer. 😅

This novel is good so far, I can understand and visualize the scenes clearly. I read the synopsis and despite the short length, the story is fairly simple to follow and read. I like the idea of arranged marriage and how it can negatively impact the relationships between families and friends around. My only complaints I guess would be about the dialogue and splitting of scenes, along with backstories. Have you tried making a timeline of past events? Writing flashback scenes can be quite difficult, so if you aren’t a professional or an expert I suggest narrating everything from the beginning instead of inserting a random flashback scene of Camille and Neil falling in love. The dialogue also seems inauthentic in a way where the sentences are too detailed in terms of word choice. I suggest breaking down your dialogue into shorter sentences. Make as many sentences as possible but ensure that they aren’t too long, otherwise your characters may not feel like real people speaking. Anyways, those are the only weaknesses I can spot so far. The rest is good, I like the presence of emotions within the characters that I can visibly distinguish who is speaking. Romance, bad boys, and angels aren’t really my type of thing, but based on me reading your novels I can distinguish your style and taste that it stands out for me. Keep it up! And if you have any concerns, feel free to message me in the forums or on the server. All the best!

Neil is a walking red flag 🚩

I like reading the Author’s Thoughts, it gives me some insights on how you came up with this story. I love stories based off of true experiences. 😅

I suggest replacing the word ‘impossible’ with another stand-in adjective.

For a CEO, Neil is kind of immature. Also, a caged lion as a gift can be too much, imagine the weight it takes to lift it. I suggest changing the gift to another live animal (something that can be domesticated, like a dog or a cat I guess) so it looks more authentic, and not something like a caged lion. Because how would Camille actually take care of it? Anyhow, I’ll carry on 😅

I’m on neither side 😅 They need a lot of counseling. Also, arranged marriage? Now I get why they wouldn’t get along that well.

😯😯😯😯 Don’t tell me he killed that lion for her….

This husband may be a little inconsistent with the way he shows love to Camille. I also have a question: How are these two working together? Any backstory? 😊

Oh dear….😭

Oh yikes, get another fiancé 😂😂😂😂

I already like this book. Couples with descriptive words and the fast-paced “chase” scene in the prologue, readers are in for a ride! Eric and Ethan’s banter is amazing, I love the exchange of dialogues so far. Though I don’t read books with magic as a central aspect, I aim to binge this book in my free time. I look forward to reading the rest. Keep it up!

I like the fast-paced action as well as Ethan and Eric’s banter. Smooth and descriptive. I like it.

Okay, I read some chapters but for some reason, I cannot establish a clue about what your story is really about. TLDR, here are my strengths and weaknesses for your novel. Strengths: Unique genre. Good representation of the premise. Weaknesses: No knowledge of plot structure. Lack of description of what the story is all about along with scenes. I know for a fact that this novel falls under the sports genre, so I was expecting fast-paced action scenes of the players or something similar. I didn’t see any of it in the first chapter. I suggest describing the scenes (for example, describe the office’s appearance) and adding context to your chapters. When making chapters, there needs to be an objective of what you are trying to portray to the audience. You need to convince people to read your book. I tried to understand some characters, like Jeff, for example being the boss, but for some reason I cannot flip the page because I keep reading scenes without any context of what it is all about. Also, please improve your book title, so I can have a clear picture of what your book stands for. I appreciate your desire to represent the world of sports in novels, but for now I just can’t read the rest of it because of it lacking a clear foundation of what it is about. But you shouldn’t give up. Sports isn’t my thing, but knowing you want to represent it through your novel is making me want to read more. That is, if you revamp/rewrite your book. Good luck on your writing journey by the way, and feel free to message me in the forums should you have any questions.

Actually, I think the info dump is unnecessary. If applicable, try using simple words that are easy to understand by the mainstream audience.

😅

What is this supposed to mean? I kind of need elaboration on this.

This reader has completed at least five chapters upon writing this review. Where do we start, oh alright. Firstly, I would love to commend you on making a Korean novel that’s based on royal status and the imbalance between social classes. I appreciate the dynamics between the two brothers so far after reading the first five chapters. Now, on to the review proper. I really want to enjoy your story, but there are way too many grammatical errors, especially in the synopsis. Also, I was expecting something around post-reincarnation because the synopsis already gave way too much information about what the story is about. Two princes who were exiled then killed, then reincarnated after a hundred years. To be honest I was confused about the time period of the first chapter, because we were taken to a fast-paced scene of a chase going on between the princes and the guards. What I also noticed is that you inserted character descriptions in the middle of the scene that I almost forgot we were in the heat of a chase. So far, your premise has potential and is very interesting, I just think you need to execute it better. TLDR for the things you need to change: - Remove the character descriptions in between a fast-paced action scene where the princes are being chased after by guards. This ruins the reading experience. - Please fix your dialogues. The guards saying “how dare you” sounds a little unrealistic, maybe try something in between a professional and commanding tone, like “Halt!” - Change your dialogue format. It’s inconsistent in terms of style. This is a novel, not a script. Replace “Jiho: ___” with “______”, Jiho said. - Tweak your synopsis a bit. Don’t give too much information away unless it’s a timeskip. I guess I can excuse saying the two brothers died because they get reincarnated, but don’t narrate more details like “who killed who.” It spoils the readers. So far, here is my rating for your book: Writing Quality: 4* Updating Stability: 5* Character Design: 4* Story Development: 4* World Background: 4* So far, your world is very interesting and has potential to be in K-Dramas. I can visualize everything clearly. Your novel isn’t bad, it just needs improvement like everyone of us. So this is it. I think I’ll end my review with best wishes on your writing journey!

I’ll stop here and read the next chapters when I have time. Expect some paragraph comments from me. That way you can get an early review since I already developed an impression of your writing style :)

Combine this with your next paragraph, since Princess Hae Won is mentioned repeatedly.