I don’t like how like how mc and Marceline stick together until they force to split up and they won’t be able to see each other again that one of them thinks the other one them dies and the searth each other never find each othe later when they’re like hundred years later they meet again , but they friend but don’t really need each other good help when needed sorry for the rant it it just idk I just think Idea for something but it kinda feel forced because I don’t know to to describe its smooth reading then one the very forced

I’d like see there reaction there and mental scars

Forshadeing?

It all right but don’t over step

willpower an conviction to be a hero at the end of the speech

I don’t this chapter his character is already shaken loyel mischievous And stuff like that, I don’t seem flirty. Does someone he likes? I don’t know it just turns me away.

My mind literally shut when read this sentence

It not for me

What happen to pride his arrogance and stuff like that

The problem I have with this I don’t like he not interacting to the rest of his house and building relationships for his future and his conquests like I don’t the he interesting in Hermione she not interesting

When are going to back to twilight fanfic

This could of Bean intresting

I’m so confused the story is all over the place my suggestion remake the as this as draft that you can in because you know with Diana and her mother in how she was asking what she likes then wheth edger ariving but idk I just dost feel complete

Why did this story stop

Continue it

I’ve tried watching the show and it that I don t like actors if you’re not trying, so I just stop watching it and it’s hard to get past a certain point action start begin but I like what done with story

I’m just confused why is there some chapter 7 in hesitant to start it

I Like the idea it just poorly executed and I’m not saying I can do any better just feels rushed and some event thing are that could make better like even separate their thinking about each other, even though there really apart I don’t know

I’m sick of of his attitude it ok but going turn me away and him being kinda of simp to leah

Can you make another twilight fanfic