if you give it a little more time grammer will be fixed. as far as the plot just look at all possible ways it could go. shes impor yes but why? i have more chapters and as a writer im my own worse critic but someone saw my story on a different platform and asked me to write here. you dont have to continue reading. like other stories the plot thickens its up to you id you stick around or not. as a writer i like to jump in yhe beginning i provide flashbacks among other things. trust me the criticism is nice but being that ive alreasy got 1000 views and onw complaint i think ill continue with how im writing.