kamiryuken

the story and the writing is good, but before you read this story, you need to know that it's a very slow and a very info dump ( 75% of chapter ). this it's a major default of this story, not for the building of the story but for the quality time of the reader. because the author want to explain the development of the mc but hidding his full power for his hidden agenda. you will read the over development of his allie. ( with all the chapter more than 60% of the writing it's monologue or explaination of trainning and development of his friends ). even in figthing, the monologue and explaination broke the hype of action. maybe this will change in the future when all the background and the base of the story will be writing. but you need to know that for this fanfiction you will read more about other perso than the mc

again. you write a super action duel game with a combo for the suprise to annihilate pegasus and then you use a card for cheating ( gain life after the draw ) then again the card draw it's the perfect card ( strong plot armor ). i like this story but your use cheat and plot armor destroy all possibility of a good duel because all strategic or brainstorming or combo resume with " oh i'm lucky, yes the author want the chapter to continue so use the chating abuse super strong plot armor"

sorry i need to say it. BULLSHIT. So, i like this story and i love the développement but i have exactly the same dislike than yugi oh anime. she need a defeat ok good but using the super mega plot armor ( cheating abuse because kaiba have all the card to counter the unknow hero deck) it just the wrong chose because when i read this i don't see a lose but a strong forcing plot. i will continue to read this story because it's a good story. i just needed to tell this

scam no chapter just some in the beginin that all. after it just chapter for unlock chapter with money on his patreon

thank you for this chapter and thank you for not going for the drama path again

if this continue with the self blame, loathing and this emotionnal shit with no developpement. i will stop reading. i can't continue with a story with more than 40 chapter with only the only développement is drama and drama and more drama with self destruct mentality

great idea with potential but just scaling of power to fast, scaling power of enemy to strong and no developpement of character with zero interaction with other character. over 30 chapter and just 3 interaction but overall no developpement

good chapter and happy of your return

i think you need the time skip. 1 the age of the mc ( and the other character) are too young. this limit the development and what you can do 2 the young Sheldon don't have many plot you can use to develop the story ( more teen comedy) 3 you can use this time skip to hide the training of leonard and do some flash back when you write some action or scene of comedy with the other character in the big bang theory. 4 you will be more free in the development with adult character and environnement in the start of big bang theory

i stop. stupid Hokage who try to kill the mc for no reason other than "i don't have evidence but i'm sure i need to kill him" for all the 50 chapter no développement, no story just bland