TypicallyMixed

you right dawg, looking back on it this story was actually rough 😭 The premise is decent but not the execution.

Worm is goated fr, not as big a fan of Ward but it has its highlights.

bro made a severe and continuous lapse in his judgment.💀

Yeah totally. I never really saw the point in people ignoring/getting heated over comments that point out inconsistencies in their fanfics.

I wouldn't call it nitpicking since everything you have to say is valid. I do actually struggle with writing her personality, and honestly, I think it applies to my writing in general. Creative writing was never my strong suit I work much better with essays. When it comes to the inconsistencies with Koko the main culprit is that I really had no clue where I was going to take the story. When I made this story, it was a sort of side project since I was tired of Will They Won't They aspect of any villain stories I read. At that point, I wasn't really sure how villainous I was going to make her, I knew for a fact that I didn't want her to be indecisive about it but I also didn't want a murderhobo (which I guess I failed at since Koko could probably apply to the murder hobo definition). Basically, that led to inconsistencies, especially in the earlier chapters. Like the orphanage thing. Then it gets worse since I dropped the story for like a year and forget little things like how she told them to stop calling her boss/told them to do it. As for the screen time, she definitely gets shafted quite a bit. This is something I've been trying to work on but it's as you said, I never written a character like his before. I had so many interesting ways to characterize already planned but the problem was writing to those points. My original plan was to turn the spotlight fully on Koko in the coming school arc, but I'm not even sure if I'll ever get to that. Since I'm kind of not even liking this story anymore. (I was 15 when I started it). I think I may have accidentally created false expectations for the earlier chapters with my description since that was created more recently. So, I'm probably going to add a note about how the earlier chapters are rough. At the end of the day, my story is just a mid-rate fanfic, not exactly peak fiction. I do appreciate you taking the time out of your day to actually critique it. (Glad you enjoy the side characters though. Midoriya's perspective in this chapter is one of the instances in this story I'm the most proud of)

Man I really did forget a lot of things💀

Yeah that's my fault tbh. The intention was that it was actually his imagination, but ig it didn't really come through when I made it switch to Koko's perspective.

I mean yeah I understand getting not wanting to get baited and such. Your criticism is valid but please remember that I wrote this two years ago. 😭

poison tipped blades/syringes is a really good idea, thanks!

Don't like killing children what can I say 💀 it's not like it matters much tbh but i get it