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Mayline

Mayline

Lv4

Thirsty for more. I can illustrate my novels with AI art. I love doing this. Ask me!

2019-09-02 BeigetretenFrance
-d

Schreiben

226.7h

des Lesens

102

Bücher lesen

Abzeichen

13

Augenblicke

754
  • Mayline
    Mayline11mth
    Antwortet auf Rownn

    Good day! I'd love to reply to your review but the computer won't let me. If you deleted it, know it is much welcomed in any form, a critic is more important if it's negative. Here's what I planned to reply: Actually I am reading and keeping every review. Yours, as bad as it can look will be fairly given light as it can only allow me to progress if I correct the mistakes you've highlighted. Up to the fifth chapter you've passed through the long intro (world building and sympathise with the mc, learn which side character is important). A violent incident caused Arthur to have ahead trauma, I believe it's not as readable as I thought. I'll work on it. Up do date, the 69th chapter is under writing, the few ten-ish I am bottling up are ongoing changes as I advance through the story. I thank thee for your time and sincerity. I hope to see you later.

    Ch 5 Breakout
    altalt
    Why I (don't) regret looking for the dragon's eyes
    Fantasie · Mayline
    detail
  • Mayline
    Mayline1yr
    Kommentiert

    This encounter was over the top and quite the abrupt stop from the fight Also I find him a little slow-brained for a number person

    Ch 5 Chapter 1.4
    altalt
    The Impossible Fate That Leads To A God Of A New World
    Ost · LuciferVermillion
    detail
  • Mayline
    Mayline1yr
    Kommentiert

    Ah nevermind 8 meteors and 9 elements?

    Dieser Absatz wurde gestrichen.
    altalt
    The Impossible Fate That Leads To A God Of A New World
    Ost · LuciferVermillion
    detail
  • Mayline
    Mayline1yr
    Kommentiert

    not dark ? woat!

    Dieser Absatz wurde gestrichen.
    altalt
    The Impossible Fate That Leads To A God Of A New World
    Ost · LuciferVermillion
    detail
  • Mayline
    Mayline1yr
    Kommentiert

    That's suspicious

    Dieser Absatz wurde gestrichen.
    altalt
    The Impossible Fate That Leads To A God Of A New World
    Ost · LuciferVermillion
    detail
  • Mayline
    Mayline1yr
    Kommentiert

    Oh boy isn't it relieving

    Dieser Absatz wurde gestrichen.
    altalt
    The Impossible Fate That Leads To A God Of A New World
    Ost · LuciferVermillion
    detail
  • Mayline
    Mayline1yr
    Kommentiert

    We can read his thoughts out loud at any time, but I don't understand the need to have a guard in front of a school

    Dieser Absatz wurde gestrichen.
    altalt
    The Impossible Fate That Leads To A God Of A New World
    Ost · LuciferVermillion
    detail
  • Mayline
    Mayline1yr
    Antwortet auf RainbowBeheader

    There is no whatsoever harem in this novel

    altalt
    Why I (don't) regret looking for the dragon's eyes
    Fantasie · Mayline
    detail
  • Mayline
    Mayline1yr
    Antwortet auf RainbowBeheader

    Not really, 1AM and I spent time on each other's novel to point out mistakes and points other things out, I was thanking his patience and clarity

    altalt
    Why I (don't) regret looking for the dragon's eyes
    Fantasie · Mayline
    detail
  • Mayline
    Mayline1yr
    Kommentiert

    I believe you need to focus on one tense for your storytelling. Some phrases are grammarily incorrect because of that. also you have a lot of capital letters everywhere, it does not respect the ponctuation. It saddens me because your first chapter is overall poetic and extremely heavy to read, it's a great job

    Dieses Buch wurde gelöscht.
  • Mayline
    Mayline1yr
    Kommentiert

    using blood as ink is very emo like also using blood to draw anything makes it stink really hard

    Dieses Buch wurde gelöscht.
  • Mayline
    Mayline1yr
    Verschickt

    this is original, quite a short premise but I hope to find the kind of mood in that old cartoon (Treasure Planet) hope to read more soon, this is some great reading~

    Dieses Buch wurde gelöscht.
  • Mayline
    Mayline1yr
    Verschickt

    There's a lot of effort inside this writing style, even some concealed humour and always a kind word in AN The synopsis just throws the story much farther than the first chapters though! Definitely reading this, great work

    altalt
    Project Salvation: Rise of the Venomous Snake
    Fantasie · ThePotatoKing
    detail
  • Mayline
    Mayline1yr
    Kommentiert

    This mind game was complicated for this tiny brain of mine. I wonder what could have happened if Nathair was the intruder. He gauged their ages sure but if he came across people extremely different from him then the mind-game could've have ended up much worse (or so I hope)

    Ch 5 I explained. They did not like it.
    altalt
    Project Salvation: Rise of the Venomous Snake
    Fantasie · ThePotatoKing
    detail
  • Mayline
    Mayline1yr
    Kommentiert

    Ah I got lost, I don't know precisely who's talking

    Dieser Absatz wurde gestrichen.
    altalt
    Project Salvation: Rise of the Venomous Snake
    Fantasie · ThePotatoKing
    detail
  • Mayline
    Mayline1yr
    Kommentiert

    The title of the chapter, I'm dead

    "Do go ahead and explain, you better have a good ass explanation!" Steve snarled at me as he picked up his spear once again. Pointing it straight at my neck.
    altalt
    Project Salvation: Rise of the Venomous Snake
    Fantasie · ThePotatoKing
    detail
  • Mayline
    Mayline1yr
    Kommentiert

    Oh boy I had a good laugh

    "I CAN EXPLAIN!"
    altalt
    Project Salvation: Rise of the Venomous Snake
    Fantasie · ThePotatoKing
    detail
  • Mayline
    Mayline1yr
    Kommentiert
    A piece of paper was ejected by the sphere and landed in my hand.
    altalt
    Project Salvation: Rise of the Venomous Snake
    Fantasie · ThePotatoKing
    detail
  • Mayline
    Mayline1yr
    Kommentiert

    Gantz vibes

    At the centre of the room was a black sphere resting on top of the table.
    altalt
    Project Salvation: Rise of the Venomous Snake
    Fantasie · ThePotatoKing
    detail
  • Mayline
    Mayline1yr
    Kommentiert

    Hold'up he ready to fight? What kind of company did he take back from his uncle?

    I did own a pistol for self-defence, using a dagger was pretty intuitive and a longsword was an extremely versatile weapon to use for beginners.
    altalt
    Project Salvation: Rise of the Venomous Snake
    Fantasie · ThePotatoKing
    detail