Coldness and Darkness

Coldness and Darkness

~~~~

"Hah…"

My eyesight was blurry.

The steam coming out of my mouth made an appearance that was as white as the snow falling from the sky.

I was shivering.

I tried my hardest to preserve my energy… but I couldn't anymore.

I couldn't endure anymore.

In this small alleyway where only trash and rotten cardboard boxes kept me from losing warmth, it was a slow and painful death sentence for me.

I don't understand why this happened.

At one moment I was going to sleep, and the next I woke up in the freezing winter in a malnourished child's body.

When I first came, I was confused. But at least back then, I had the strength to move…

I survived by stealing food… pitiful amounts at that. But eventually, the harsh winter caught up to me.

Now I was waiting for my final verdict while slowly freezing to death.

The things that people do when they're at their final moments are astonishing.

I prayed to God.

But… he didn't answer.

Neither did any other god that I knew of.

'If there was a Guinness World Record for the longest surviving kid without food… I'd probably take first place without a competition.'

I was lonely…

Usually, homeless people would gather together to make a community of sorts but perhaps the sub-zero winter had them fending for themselves for the winter.

And here I am.

Waiting to die…

I sometimes wish that this body wasn't so gifted…

From the days I ran from shop owners and stealing, I found out that whoever this kid was… if he survived… he would have been a world-class athlete easily.

However, it extended from mere running and my senses felt more 'in tune'.

So even now, I could hear the bustling of the city beside me.

The cars…

The people…

The talking…

Compared to this dreary and dark rotten alleyway, the city felt like a wonderland.

"Hah…"

'I guess reminiscing took too much strength out of me… Ha… Ha… I sound like an old man…'

I could feel my body slowly starting to stop functioning.

My breath slowed.

My hearing that once could hear the busyness of the city turned into silent ringing.

My body that shivered uncontrollably was now losing the energy to do so. I started going limp.

Finally, my sight… my already blurry sight soon felt like it had gone into the negatives.

"Hah.."

Was it an illusion?

I felt an indescribable warmth…

Two final tears accompanied me as I thought my final thoughts.

'I'm sorry children… I guess I can't tell you stories anymore…'

*

*

*

"Hah…"

The Doctor sighed.

He was one of eight other people who were bat-shit crazy enough to join an experiment that would try to topple one of the long-standing giants of the 'Spy world'.

Operations were running smoothly.

Right now, he was in Japan picking up limited edition Snowman Soufflés for his boss, Technician.

It was cold, unbearably so.

It must have been one of the coldest winters that Japan had suffered from, yet the busy city of Tokyo never stopped moving. The ever-moving metropolis with black companies, severely underpaid employees, and a cloud of depression of common people. That was what Tokyo was.

Crunch!

Normally the Doctor wouldn't have done something so time-consuming and meaningless, but being cooped up in the latest medical findings wasn't healthy either. So in the end, he was the lamb that was picked to get the Soufflés.

In the corner of his eyes was a dark alley, it was such a common sight that normal people would ignore it and go on with their day.

But something led him… no… pulled him towards that alleyway.

Crunch!

Crunch!

Even the normally satisfying crunch of the snow (which he always found satisfying) didn't dissuade the Doctor from heading towards the dark corner of the large city.

Crunch!

The smell of trash was lingering somewhat in the air. But the overpowering cold made even the Doctor's sense of smell freeze up.

Thankfully his sense of smell wasn't what led him here, rather it was hearing.

Filtering sounds, sounds like an impossible task but for a highly skilled person such as the Doctor, it was an easily achievable task.

But the systematic and slowly fading sounds of a person breathing were heard by him.

Peering in the narrow and dark alleyway, he found nothing.

After one final breath, the Doctor could no longer hear the breathing that captivated him.

He went in.

He searched and easily found a boy with black hair and eyes that looked to be around five. But he would have to say older because of the severe malnutrition.

When he picked the boy up two tears, each from one eye streamed down.

'Is he crying from happiness?'

His emotionless face looked at the boy's face.

'I'll give you a chance. But know this boy: Nothing is free in this world'

*

*

*

'Am I dead?'

All around me was the cold blizzard.

I could hear the wind howling in my ears…

I couldn't open my eyes. I couldn't move. And all I was doing was lying down.

It must have been hell. That was where I was… Hell…

Even after death, this cold never forgets to follow.

My fingertips to my chest… they all slowly froze as I stayed in a paralyzed state.

I felt every single one of my limbs freezing into

But my head… that was the one place where it was neutral. The only place where the cold never bothered me was the head…

"Hah… Ha…"

Somehow, as if a miracle had occurred, my body slowly became warmer… I could feel the heat spreading from my head to other parts of my body.

'Thank you…'

But… it was too hot… I was boiling…

I couldn't scream, I couldn't talk… I could do nothing as what was once one of my biggest dreams rapidly started killing me.

The soft snow under me evaporated, and I felt the earth on my back.

But as soon as my body felt like it was melting my inner organs, the heat disappeared.

And soon, chasing me like a rabid dog, the cold enveloped me once more.

It became a perpetual loop of boiling and freezing…

…

"Hah!!"

"ha…Ha…"

'It… It was all a dream?'

The pain I felt… was it even real?

Bzzt!

"Welcome… to the experiment where we see if you trash are worth our time…"

I looked up at the speakers where the voice came out from.

"There are a hundred of you… we must cut that number in half… fifty…"

"...In one minute, weapons will drop from the ceiling… use those to kill your opponent."

"...Good luck."

I was in an empty room.

It was the type of room that didn't 'feel' real. The white walls made the room seem infinite in size.

As I was mesmerized by how the room seemed to be never-ending, my opponent woke up.

"Nmm…"

"...Where am I?"

I didn't even look at him until now…

"Hey! Where are we?"

The voice said the same words, but this time, the timer turned from a minute to thirty seconds.

"Oooh. I thought I had to keep acting…"

"I wonder what you'll look like in despair?"

A twisted and unnatural smile stretching to his ears was formed.

I don't know if this was real but before his eyes were shining, but now that I look at it… it looked like his pupils had untangled and made a never-ending spiral.

"Hahaha!"

He rushed towards me.

"..!"

Kaching!

Around twenty square holes opened in the ceiling.

"Hahaha!!!"

Under his crazed state, it seemed he ignored everything and rushed at me.

'I can't beat him like this!'

I ran with (real) tears coming out of my eyes.

He chased me, and while I was better than him at running, my poor physical state was wearing me down much more quickly than him.

There were many weapons I could get, but only two stood out that I could use. Among the two, I headed for the closer one, a knife.

It was lying on the ground, and I hurriedly grabbed it and pointed it at the kid shakingly.

"I-I'll stab you if you come any closer…"

He looked stunned.

'Is he going to stop?'

"Pu-Hahahaha!"

It only lasted a few seconds before he laughed and rushed at me again.

This time he ran faster and got to me in a few seconds.

'I have no choice!'

I slashed at him.

Woosh!

But he avoided the slash and punched me right in my stomach.

"Blurh!"

I flew a couple of meters and landed hard on the ground.

I felt like my intestines had broken… and I hurriedly covered my stomach.

But…

'It doesn't hurt that much?'

It was strange…

Something like this before would have made me pass out…

'I don't understand…'

Compared to my body freezing and boiling over perhaps hundreds of times, pain became my companion.

'Was it really all a dream?'

"Hey, hey… You can't break this easily, after all, you have to play with me a bit more."

Since I was kneeling down and covering my stomach, he couldn't see my disbelieved face. I looked outside my long bangs and saw the knife on the ground behind the kid.

'I can't get the knife…'

But next to me was the other 'weapon', something that I could use.

It was a screwdriver.

Shuffle!

'Now!'

I grabbed the screwdriver and stabbed it into his thigh.

"...AHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

I looked up to see him grabbing the screwdriver to get it removed gently. He completely ignored that I was here.

I could see sweat and his eyes frantically moving, looking at the screwdriver.

I could feel the adrenaline pumping in my veins.

I stood up.

He was below me, and now I was above.

'...How the tables have turned.'

A feeling emerged… it itched and begged me to fulfill it.

Like an impulse, I threw a punch on the back of his head.

"Wai-!"

I ignored it, and soon I was on his stomach, punching away at his face.

Just like in the dream, eventually, all sounds ceased, and time felt murky.

By the time I snapped out of it, I quickly grabbed the screwdriver still stuck in his thigh and tried to make a final blow, but once the tip hit where the head was supposed to be, all that came out was a…

Ting!

"Blurghh!!"

It couldn't even be called a head, it was paste, a paste completely pulverized like it was from a machine.

In the end, I passed out.

I lay next to the corpse of the sick kid with his meat paste head with the screwdriver still stuck in it.

That day… I lost something…

No… Perhaps I had already lost it; I just wanted to try to hold it together…

…Just

A

Little

Longer…