Chapter 1 no

I looked into the mirror sighing, not contented or should I say slightly contented. I tied my bobmarley into a bun and applied gel at the edges in front. I slammed the powder foam on my face repeatedly till I am satisfied then let the lip gloss glide over my lips. slowly I pick up my denim hand beg glancing over to The mirror for the last time I walked out of the house locked it. I began to walk down to the junction where I would get a cab, I thank goodness that we moved out of our former house. before getting to the road takes me more than thirty minutes. it's just so fustrating and tiring especially when I don't have a walking buddy.

it was always more than a punishment whenever dad or mom sent me to buy some things like gas and those stuffs. I really wouldn't go out today but I've got to go to church but with no parents around me I still have to suffer to go to it even when I'm not in the mood. My parents and siblings are out of the country yeah I should be a hundred percent free person like go to clubs with random friends, get drunk, fall asleep and suddenly meet myself at home he next morning, then wonder if the unknown helper fucked me all i. the name of helping me but no my parents made it fifty-fifty. they got this guy's mom my former crush not totally cuz I find myself thinking about him like twenty percent of the time, to watch over me believe me I purposely keep my phone on silence or just ignore her calls .

she doesn't really like me and I hate her it's like she's one of my enemies of progress adding to all of that I'm beginning to hate my self for falling for her son. I hurl down a taxi and got in before I knew it the car sped off. the main reason I really have been attending church is to see one boy in particular. get it all my attempt to have a boyfriend has always failed no matter what. I admit I'm not that beautiful but with a little makeup I'm like you go girl but my attitude is dangerous even to my own health. I have this stinking behavior which people call it anyways so I have been a loner fifty percent of my life and I'm still so young so I've been single all my life. when I even crushed on this my mom's friend's son who is practically tormenting my life for the time being he told me over a text to stop talking like I owe him something. truth be told he did because he asked my friend out and not me. not like she's better or even hotter than I am well maybe her behavior is. I just don't understand me sometimes but I have decided to let it slide down my asshole on one piece of shit. I cannot because of a man die

There are so many things I would love to do so I'm not ready to die yet. I haven't had my first kiss yet at my age, I haven't even had someone to love me, tease me lovey dovey me and all that and even to the topmost shelf I haven't even had sex yet so I'll take my time let all the worries in the world slide through even though I know I can't, deep down my life is depressed but I keep up to myself by making myself happy. it's been hard with family turning thier backs on me. Deep down I care but on the outside it's ' I don't care die' to everybody but I know myself more than all of them so....

The car came to an halt just infront of the church. I paid him and gracefully got out of the car feeling myself cuz I know I looked good, oh, I pull a scarf out of my bag and tie it around my head just before I entered the church as usual all eyes were on me because no matter how the cloth I have look like I always make it look good and mostly because I love stocking my closet with new clothing's every week . I gently slip into one of the seats in the congregation, just infront of my admirer