CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED THIRTY SEVEN

I sat alone on the swing in front of the cabin, set in a secluded spot, wrapped in a blanket, awaiting my husbands return.

I got more nervous by the seconds and I believe that it has to do with the seconds and minutes and hours and days and months I kept waiting for Logan to wake, up after the shooting.

Being newly married, I was constantly afraid! Yes I was surrounded by people who loved and supported me, but I was still a stranger to Logan's family and I got tired of being a burden to everyone around.

I kept wondering what did I do to deserve this? Why is my baby's life in danger? Why couldn't I go through a normal pregnancy, with normal doctor's visits? What did I do, to deserve having a bullet logged in my spine?

The flash of lights coming from the front of the compound, added with the sound of engines running, set my heart to beat faster in anticipation of seeing Logan, again.

After Jer's conversation with Jess, I don't know what to think, but I know, for Logan to put a gun at Jess's head, she must have really pissed him off.

No one would know that I am here unless I show myself, but I decided to sit back and allow the guys to settle in before joining them inside.

"Dad! Dad!" Logan started shouting, calling his father who is obviously in a deep sleep at this ungodly hour of the morning.

The way Logan is shouting to wake his father, it can't be good.

I stayed put, because I felt as if I didn't need anymore pressures on me today.

Then there was silence, expect when the men Logan left with started trotting across the lawn towards their makeshift living quarters.

I noticed, Cameron and Justin wasn't with them, so they're with Logan and his father, dealing with whatever got Logan fired at this hour.

I threw my head back, adjusted the blanket and closed my eyes, my last thought being, my brother and Gwen knows where I am.

When next I opened my eyes, I found myself on my bed, alone.

So they found me, but didn't wake me.

I hate when Logan does this to me. I moved to get off the bed, flinching when I felt a pinch in my back.

Sighing, I relaxed a bit, because I made this choice. I made this choice to have my baby. I made this choice to endure the pain.

I made this choice.

Cradling my baby bump, my mind started wandering back to that day when I met Logan and everything that has since happened.

Smiling at our short courtship and how happy Logan made me feel during that time. I played hard to get but Logan's perseverance won in the end.

I'm happy he didn't give up and I am happy we got married, even if a quickie wedding was never in my plan, I am happy for all of it.

Those were happy days!

Would Jess and I have still been close if Logan and I didn't meet?

Would Jess have still betrayed me, if Logan's grandfather didn't convince her too?

Maybe it doesn't matter where life would have take us, Jess would have still turned on me, based on what her mother filled her head with.

Logan put a gun to Jess's head and I believe she deserved it.

I know Jer believes it, by his reaction to it.

I need to pee!

I got of the bed and cradling my stomach with one hand, placing the other hand behind my back while I walked towards the washroom, looking around the room for my chair.

After using the washroom, I took a short shower, before returning to the bedroom to organize for another day of boredom and food.

My chair must still be out front where I fell asleep last night, so I slowly made my way to the kitchen and food.

Before reaching the corridor, I heard voices, mom's and she was crying and pleading with Logan.

What now?

Frowning, I was so caught up in my own bubble, I forgot there was a reason Logan was shouting out at Dad a few hours ago.

The last time overheard a conversation, I ran.

God help me not to get scared and run again. Maybe this time, it's not about me, but I couldn't take solace in that, because mom was in tears.

"I did it for you Logan" mom cried. "I saved you from that life." She continued crying. "Look at where you are in life. You're an upstanding citizen, you have a beautiful wife and a baby on the way" Mom continued crying in a pleading tone.

Logan scuffs, "I have a wife who could lose her life while giving birth to my baby." Logan responded angrily. "If I had prior knowledge to this, things could have gone differently." Logan said, his voice toning down.

"If I had left you on the road where your grandfather was leading you, Jamie would not have been in your life." Mom points out sadly.

"If Jamie hadn't met me, her life would not be hanging on a lifeline." Logan points out, his voice breaking up, "and Stan would have still been here." He finishes and I heard nothing again, except weeping and a soft whimper.

My decision and my choice has broken Logan and he never mentioned it. He wasn't there and I did what I had to do, for our family. I couldn't delay my decision and I honestly don't regret it.

Stanley! Logan rarely speaks about him but I realized he was important to Logan all through his childhood.

I have to assure Logan that the most important thing is that we're together, in spite of all that we've been through.

"As the saying goes, what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger" I whispered to myself, as I made my way into the kitchen.