CHAPTER FOUR

"Mom, is it okay if we just didn't go out today? I'm not feeling it."

Family night was today and Farik didn't want to go out. Well, it was more a mother-daughter night than the whole family but still, hanging with her mother was not how she envisioned her Saturday night.

"Why? Are you sick? Do you want me to call Dr. Randolph?" Safari was by her side in seconds, checking her forehead to see if she had a fever. Farik flinched at the contact and gingerly moved her mother's hand away. She hated physical contact.

"I'm fine. I just...I feel like..." Her words got stuck in her throat. The tears were welling up in her eyes and they were getting harder to control by the second. Safari didn't need any explanations though. She pulled her daughter closer and hugged her and that was when Farik let loose. She hadn't cried since last week and she just wanted to let everything out of her system.

The day before was one of the worst days of her life. The comments and jokes weren't at all what bothered her. It was the single note that was attached to her locker when she got to school that made the rest of the day feel like shit.

"Dear Freak, I hope you leave this earth sooner than later.

Here's the list of ways you can do that just in case you

Forgot it yesterday."

She knew without a doubt that it was Miley who wrote that. She accepted the bullying, the name calling and whatnot, but what she couldn't just let go was the fact that they all wanted her dead. She didn't do anything wrong. Why do they want that?

"A-am I a f-freak mom?" She was sobbing hard and the words were coming out muffled. Her mother pulled her closer-if that was even possible-and tried her best to soothe her. It was the first time she was actually acknowledging that name given to her by her former BFF.

"Do you and dad regret having me?"

"Of course not, sweetie. Why would you say that?"

She had a lot of reasons to say that, one of them being the fact that her parents were never there for her to begin with. A busy dad and a shopaholic mother who seemed to love herself more was what made her re-think the whole being loved thing.

That night, Safari tried her best to be there for her daughter. She wanted to prove to her that she did mean the world to her even though she didn't occasionally let her know that. It was really hard to bond when the two of them had literally nothing in common.

After what could be only described as a heart-to-heart talk with her mom, Farik calmed down a bit. It wasn't the most comfortable watching Criminal Minds with her mom who clearly didn't enjoy the series, but at least this time around, she felt like she existed in her mother's universe. That was enough for her.

***

"Oh my God! Orion. Why the hell won't you leave me alone?"

He had cornered her again at the back of the school. He had tried twice on Monday to talk to her but she ignored him like always. Graduation was just a few days away and Orion wanted so badly to make amends before that happened.

"Farik, I just want you to listen to me for one minute. That's all I ask." The desperation in his tone did nothing to faze her. She folded her arms across her chest and glared at him. She hoped that the hard glare would burn a hole through his skull.

"Are you trying to run away from the bad Karma that surely awaits you?" His brows were furrowed and he cocked his head to the side.

"W-what?" She clicked her tongue and exhaled sharply.

"Orion, I don't care if you're sorry or if this is just another one of your ploys to do something really humiliating to me before we leave forever, not that there's anything you can do now that'll be worse than what I've already experienced."

"Farik, I'm not trying to do anything. I just really want to apologize to you for every single thing that I've done..."

"You can apologize," she said interrupting him. He looked at her with hope filled eyes.

"Will I be forgiven?"

"No."

That single word had shattered his heart into a million pieces.

"Listen, Orion, I'm trying to enjoy the last three days I have left in this god forsaken school. Miley and her crew are too busy with the yearbook and graduation gown to be bothered with me and I really want to make good use of this free time so if you really want to make it up to me, don't show your face around me ever again." Sadness engulfed him but there was really nothing he could do. He figured he deserved it and much worse after what he did to her.

"I really do mean it, Farik. I'm sorry for everything. That's the only thing I regret in my life. This whole popularity thing wasn't worth it at all."

"Well I'm glad you realized your mistake. Make sure to not make the same one in college. Your Karma would be worse then. I can't say that I've forgiven you, because I haven't, but just pray that what would happen to you wouldn't be as bad as what would happen to Miley. Have in mind; you will pay for your actions. We all do someday."

***

"Mom, I decided I wouldn't be going to college." Safari stared at her daughter with surprise painted over her face. She never spoke about colleges with Farik before but she figured she was going to go to one. She knew for a fact that her daughter was smart-or was she mistaken?

"What?" Farik asked when Safari didn't respond. She blinked back a few times realizing she was still at the dinner table and cleared her throat.

"I didn't know you weren't planning on going. I had thought you wanted to go to Cambridge." Farik shook her head.

"That was a long time ago. College doesn't sound right in my ears anymore. I want to go backpacking around Europe for like a year and half, then I'll decide what I wanna do." Safari nodded and reached for her hand. Farik wanted to pull away but her mother held it tighter.

"I don't mind you not going to college at all. But have you told your dad? He really wanted you to study Business Administrations so you could take over his company someday." Farik made a disgruntled sound at the back of her throat. She had never once imagined herself in an office, wearing high heels and ridiculous cooperate clothes. And she was a hundred percent sure her father never imagined that too.

"I told him last month. He wasn't exactly thrilled by it but he didn't oppose it either. I don't want to have another school experience." She whispered that last part and Safari gave a sad smile.

"You know, we could go to Europe together if you want. Ooh, and invite that little boy friend of yours." Farik groaned and retracted her hands from her mother's grasp. She picked up her cup of hot cocoa that was lying next to the plate of cookies that she had baked while her mom watched.

Farik had mentioned some time ago that she was no longer associated with Orion but Safari hadn't gotten the memo. Farik didn't blame her though; she didn't exactly say she and Orion were no longer friends. But Safari should have been able to understand that seeing that he hadn't been over for almost eight years now.

"Mom, I told you before, Orion's not my boyfriend." Safari squealed and started poking her arm.

"No. But you guys are really close. I see the way he looks at you. And you have the same happy expression when you're with him."

For eight years, they haven't talked to each other. Farik wondered exactly the last time her mom thinks she saw Orion. It made her to wonder again how old her mom thought she was. They had a lot of catching up to do.

"Mom, trust me, Orion doesn't like me."

If he did, he wouldn't have done what he did.

"Well, it doesn't matter. You can invite him over like you used to do. Now that I think about it, we haven't gone on any vacations like before. I haven't even seen his mom lately. What is going on?" Farik resisted the urge to smile at the confused look her mother was housing. It wasn't funny that her own mom didn't know at least this much about her life. Then again, she wouldn't exactly say she knew a lot about her mom either.

"How about it just be the two of us, huh?" Safari smiled, the corners of her green eyes crinkling, and nodded.

"I'd like that."