Chapter 25 - Solitude from then to now

COCK-A-DOODLE-DOO!

"Mmmmmmmm---" With a tired face, I let out a groan as I woke up early in the morning despite not having enough hours of sleep.

Stretching my arms around from getting up, I heard mother's voice from outside my room and it seemed that she was talking to someone. Curious of what it was, I quietly walk towards the door. Upon reaching to it, slowly I opened it in order to not get attention, taking a peek from inside my room secretly.

Looking to who it was, it was my father who just arrived coming from somewhere, and my mother was making a worried face while confronting him.

"Where have you been yesterday?"

"Sorry, I was at Bryan's place. They were having their party and they invited me."

"Oh, I see. You look tired."

"Yes, we had fun with all the karaoke and drinks. Well, I'm going ahead to go sleep now."

"Okay."

From hearing their conversation, I somehow got quite jealous of it, thinking of why father chose to spend his time with his friends instead of us.

Being just a tiny brat, and despite the disappointing news, I didn't mind it at the end and had cheered myself up as I was hoping for the New Year to come, but after days of waiting…

"I'm done with the chicken Ma! What's next?" I called out to my mother, trying to ask for the next step.

Waiting for her to reply, it was just silent inside the house. When I lose my patience, I began moving out of the kitchen to find my mother. As I spotted and found her at the living room, I directly approached my mom who was standing still while holding her phone.

"Ma! The chicken is-----" Moving closer to her, I stopped as she suddenly faced towards me with a plain face.

Noticing her expression, I instantly concluded that something was wrong with her.

"What's wrong, Ma? Is there a problem?"

"Ohh Hanzaki, nothing. I just received a text message from your father." Mother spoke to me in a low tone, seemingly disappointed for some reason once again.

"Really? What did papa say ma?"

"Your father… won't be going home today. The company he has been working will be having a new year's event this time, and he was chosen to be one of the organizers of the event."

After hearing what mother said, I was down-heartened, but I didn't show it on my face.

"So, I'm done with the chicken ma. What should I do next?"

"Oh, okay."

Despite hearing the news that my father could not come home, we still continued to prepare for the New Year celebration anyhow.

At midnight, I alone spend the time outside looking again at the fireworks, and this time, horns were being blown even louder than before. Yet still again at the time, my mother was already at their bedroom, already fast asleep. I expected, but unfortunately it seems that it ended the same.

After another year had passed by, Christmas was once again at our doors, but this time I wasn't hoping anymore. I know what was coming, and obviously, it ended the same every time.

"10,9…..".

Still it was the same thing that happened before.

"8,7,6,5,4...."

I was already outside at the balcony, being ready for the lights to roar up to the sky.

"3,2.....1!"

*SWOOOOOOOOOSH!*

*BOOOOOOOOOOOOM!*

"Huuh!?" With my eyes gone wide, I woke up from the dream, feeling nostalgic of it.

Looking at my calendar, the number "31" was encircled with a red marker.

"Another tiresome day has come." I said with a sigh.

-----*-----

*SWOOOOOOOOOSSHHHHH!*

*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!*

*HONK HOOOOOOOOOOOONK!*

The same scenario happened again at midnight, but this time it was livelier.

More events were held in the area and lots of people were seen outside the place than usual, but except for the part where I met a lost girl and had a mission to find her mother---

"Finding her mother, huh? Mother."

As I was contemplating about it, another of my memories came flashing back to me.

[Hanzaki! Why haven't you swept the floor yet?"]

[My goodness! The dishes Hanzaki! The dishes!]

[Get up! Get up! The sun has already risen, clean the outside already!]

[This is not enough! Can't you see it is still covered with dust?]

[There is still rice sticking on the plate! Wash this again.]

[Tsssk, you're such a lazy kid!]

[*Sigh*. What should I do with you?]

[Wait ma, I'm gonna finish this last mission. I can't pause]

[Wait ma, I'm still cleaning the bedroom!]

[Zzzzzz, just for a minute please]

[But I already cleaned and finished them]

[But I put all my effort to that]

[But I brushed it really hard]

[Sorry, I didn't notice it]

[Sorry ma]

[Shut up! I know!]

I have to admit, I did a bunch of silly stuffs from before and probably that was the reason why I was always getting into my mother's hot head. Yep, I was indeed such a care-free child back then, but even though I received such harsh critics from my mother and my father, I hadn't really mind it that much, and later on, I had began to change myself little by little to make it up to them and because of course, I do truly loved my parents.

But do you know what was frustrating back then? It was that even though I seriously tried and showed my will to change, I was still given such harsh words instead of words of motivation and appreciation, especially when it comes to my father who would always yell at me when I couldn't bare to understand when it comes to my study.

With them not minding my efforts, they continue to rebuke me with lots of their shouts to make me understand and make it up to their high standards and practice despite them knowing I was still a child with not having a lot of knowing of this world.

They were there, but they were always absent-minded towards me when I needed them the most.

But still, I continued to live on, and eventually when I grew up, especially up to this point with already having a lot of contemplations about such things, I finally had enough of it.

Meanwhile from remembering these memories of mine, my head was suddenly hurting while I was standing in the middle of the crowd.

"I guess I'll be resting now. Damn, my head is sure painfully."

I then head home to rest for the day, thinking that the reason was because of my tiresome work, but I doubt about it. Without having to continue with the celebration, I did not mind of not witnessing the other events, and as usual, I put my effort for the day's work at the restaurant during the afternoon at the same day.

Slowly, the usual number of customers came back, and with my pay that will be given today, it made me highly motivated in giving my effort to the highest. I worked until it was already the end for my shift.

"Did you do well Hanzaki?" asked Manager Alvarez.

"Yeah, it is really that tiring, but it's worth it."

"You're quite the guy, huh. Hahahaha"

"Thanks."

"Hanzaki!"

"Hmmm?"

"Here!"

Quite surprising, the manager threw an envelope at me, and I instinctively caught it with the both of my hands.

"That's your first right? Spend it wisely kid"

My eyes widened and I was overjoyed with my first pay. I smiled as I faced back at the manager.

"Thank you very much!" I bowed a little in front of him as I gave my thanks.

"This is embarrassing kid, but oh well, that's up to you now."

Grasping the awaited moment, I hold my pay tightly on my chest.

Afterwards, I went ahead as I was done talking with Manager Alvarez. I was walking while thinking about how to spend or maybe save my allowance.

"That's 800 for the rent, an estimated 2700 for the monthly meals, 420 for travel expenses, and 1500 for school related. Whoa, I still got some left but though it hasn't reached a thousand."

Reaching a certain place, I stumbled upon a convenience store and have stopped. Thinking of an idea, I moved closer to the store to take a peek inside.

"Hmmm… I guess it doesn't hurt if I'll buy something cheap right?"

That being said, I went inside and have looked for the cheap stuff. I got biscuits, some chips, cupcakes, a hotdog sandwich and a bottle of soft drink.

"Alright, I guess this is enough."

It was a lot, but the things were pretty much affordable so it did not bother me even if I took some more of it, yet unfortunately I can't finish all of it even if I did so. I then went to the counter to pay the stuffs.

"That would be 188 all in all sir."

"Here you go."

After paying the goods, I quickly went outside to go back, excited of eating my meal for the night.

Upon setting foot inside my room, I quickly brought out all of the foods that I bought. One by one I was arranging and forming the figure of the letters D, B and H on the floor by using the packed foods, but except for the sandwich and soft drink.

Next, I opened 1 cupcake and took it inside from its pack, and have put it in front of me together with the sandwich and drink while sitting in an Indian style.

"Okay, I guess I'll be helping myself with these."

Slowly I breathe from a deep inhale to a quick exhale.

For a moment, I was silent with the both of my hands attached to each other as if I was praying with my eyes closed. While doing this, involuntarily I started to recall in my mind a memory in the past.

[Okay Hanzaki! Say your wish first!]

"Hap..."

[There was a large cake and some various yummy foods prepared on top of the table, and around me were my noisy friends that were full of energy and excitement while looking at me.]

"py..."

[It was something on the past that I would never forget. The old times that I would like to remember together with the joyful and happy feelings I had during that time.]

['Let's light it up!']

[But right now, things have changed greatly. I have been living my life all alone, fighting for my future by myself with no one else in my side to support and guide me.]

['Blow the candle and--- YEEEEEEEEEEEY! HAPPY---']

"Birthday to me."