CAN YOU SAY IT? 03 :  Someone

CAN YOU SAY IT? 03 :

Someone

LLOYD

Opening my eyes, only to be greeted by none. Slowly rosing up from my bed. I fell asleep? parang kakagising ko lang kanina a.. well nevermind. As I was about to walk out, I darted my eyes on my monitor. Of course it auto-closed while I was asleep.

Walking in my manor's empty hallway, a hand on my head. I can't really believe it. Ito na yata ang unang beses na makakita ako ng ganitong klase ng case. I'm sure this will be very hard for Raychel as well as for the others.

Mabuti nang kami na muna ni Nile Glenn ang makaalam.

After taking my time inside the bathroom. Maayos na akong nagbihis, not leaving my new ironed lab coat behind. Nang mapadaan ako sa kusina, I saw the reapers taking their breakfast. Of course, hindi sila kumpletong nandoon pero nandoon ang ibang kagaya ko ay pumapasok din sa St.Celestine.

"Sir.Lloyd." Arthur, the 1st called out to me. Wala sana akong balak na magpakita sa kanila e.

I stopped walking ng makita itong naglakad papunta sa'kin, holding a mug. Kitang-kita ko pa ang steam na nanggagaling doon.

"Here."

The 1st gave it to me with a slight smile, greeting me a "Good morning." saka bumalik na sa ginagawa niya. I nod as a thank you bago pa man ito makalayo.

I looked at the mug. "She gave me a coffee..?"

Sinimulan ko na ang paglalakad sa buong mansion habang nasa kamay ang ibinigay niyang tasa ng kape. Walking around my mansion is also a daily routine of mine.

My other hand holding the coffee while the other one is inside my pocket.

"It's a bit chilly today.."

The hallway is empty. Tanging ang tunog lang ng sapatos ko ang naririnig ko sa paligid. My everyday life is just like this. It only contains, me—woking up, walk around the mansion, attend St.Celestine, act like a student, maybe help Raychel and the twins, take my precious time inside my biology club— that doesn't really exist, then go back to this mansion, do my job, sleep and repeat.

I don't really do normal breakfast,lunch and dinner. Minsan pa nga ay nakakalimutan ko na gawin ang tatlong iyon.

"It's like.. I don't normally live as a human anymore."

I can clearly remember someone scolding me with their straight face, they used to scold me to eat my meal properly everyday or else I'll die. Then that someone disappeared. Leaving me all by myself. That's why I'm always all by myself now.

Looking outside the big window, kita dito ang lawak ng hardin na pagmamay-ari ko. What a beautiful garden indeed, I'm sure na magugustuhan niya iyan kung nandito lang siya ngayon.

"Sir.Lloyd, oras na po." I almost jumped nang marinig ang malalim na boses ng isa sa mga bodyguard na ni-hire ni Dad. Hanggang ngayon hindi pa rin ako sanay na makasama sila.

I looked behind me to see one of the seems to be emotionless person as one of my bodyguards. A guy who looks on his mid-20's.

Every bodyguard in this mansion needs to wear their uniform gaya na lang ng suot niya. A black suit that fits his body perfectly well.

Hindi ito nakatingin sa'kin, he keeps looking straight na parang mamamatay ito sa oras na ilapag niya sa'kin ang mata niya.

Sighing, I sip on the coffee that Arthur gave me. It tastes good. Matagal na rin simula noong nakatikim ako ng masarap na kape. I guess Kriegmeser made this.

I hand the mug to the bodyguard, "Keep it, kailangan mainit pa iyan hanggang mamaya—pag-uwi ko." He simply nodded. Saglit ko pang tinignan ang walang emosyon nitong mukha bago ako umalis.

"Why do they need choose this life? They deserve better."

I reached the halls of St.Celestine, I made my way inside like a man who does not exist. No one darted a single look at me, like always. Hindi naman sa gusto ko na tignan ako ng mga tao, sanay na akong hindi nakikita. Ngayong iilan lang ang nakaka-appreciate sa existence ko.

Isa na ang babaeng umiwan sa'kin.

I opened the door of my non-existent club and walk inside, locking the door behind me on purpose. I sat on my swivel chair with a monitor infront of me. Parang bedroom ko lang ang lugar na ito dahil nandito pa rin ang PC na ito.

Not everyone knows na nag-e-exist ang munti kong clubroom. The reason why I always calls this a clubroom is because this is the room where the late Biology Club takes place. Now, hindi na ito ginagamit ng kahit sino kaya naman inukupa ko na. Hindi na rin kasi dito umuukupa ang Biology Club ngayon.

Another reason is because that girl told me to take care of this clubroom. Originally, she was the first one to own this room.

"Why am I always thinking of her?"

"She's already gone, It will better if I forget about her."

Napasalampak ako sa swivel chair. Nawala ang gana ko bigla ngayong bumabalik na naman sa isip ko ang babaeng iyon.

♡ ♡ ♡

"Lloyd, are you sleeping again?" A girl wearing a sailor uniform asked the guy who's currently sleeping under the tree. She takes a sit beside him.

"I'm not sleeping." he responded with his eyes closed.

"Is that so?"

He simply nodded as a response. It's clear that he's taking a sleep. Ayaw lang nito ipahalata sa babae dahil kanina lang ay natulog na ito.

He felt something heavy on his shoulder dahilan para imulat nito ang mga mata nito para tignan 'yon.

She's leaning her head on his shoulder. It didn't faze him, parang normal lang ito para sa kaniya.

"Cecil." he called. The girl beside him hummed para ipaalam na nakikinig ito.

"What if one day, I suddenly die? what will you do?" he asked still closing his eyes. The girl beside him went silent for a second bago muling sumagot.

"Why bringing this up now? alam mo na ba kung kailan ka mamamatay?" Instead of answering, she sarcastically asked the guy back.

He lightly chuckled, "No, I just want to know kung may gagawin ka kung sakaling mamatay ako."

Cecil hummed again, finally understanding what he ment. "I guess I'll cry because of your loss. Then move on."

"That's all?"

"Yeah."

Silence fell between them. Araw-araw naman hindi ganito ang pinaguusapan nila. Ngayon pa nakuha ni Lloyd na tanungin ito. Cecil closed her eyes then opened it again.

"Because that's all what I can do. I can't do anything bring you back to life that's why I'll just cry my heart out and hope.. that you're still doing fine. I know you only can watch over me from above. I can only look up the skies and imagine you looking back at me."

Lloyd didn't expect her to say more. Akala nito ay tapos na nitong sagutin ang katanungan nita. He just went off guard.

"What about me? anong gagawin mo kung sakaling.. isang araw mamatay ako?" Cecil asked looking over at him.

He remained silent then sighs deeply and looks over at her, eyes meeting. "I would never forget about you. Also.. I will look over to your club if ever." he hesitated to answer for a second.

"You'll not even cry?"

"I'll try not to. I don't want you to see me cry after all." he snickered. Cecil lightly chuckled.

"I wonder.. kailan kaya kita makikitang umiyak." she thought to herself.

"Then," she stood up, dusting her skirt off and lends him a hand. He looks at it for a second bago iyon tanggapin. They both stood together under that tree, holding each others hand.

"Please take care of the club room for me."

For the first time on his life, Lloyd finally saw Cecil smile. A wide-toothy smile. Eyes widened at the realization of what just she said.

He doesn't know.. that it will be the first and the last time he will ever see that smile. Because after that day, Cecil didn't manage to bid him—her last farewell as she was caught between an accident.

"....d."

"...yd."

"Lloyd, wake up."

"Huh?"

"Are those... dry tears? Lloyd, did you cry?"

Slowly opening my eyes, the first thing I saw was Nile Glenns' worried and sweaty face. I sat up, taking off my glasses and wipe the substance off my face using my sleeve then wear my glasses again.

"No one's crying, Nile Glenn." I told him. Hindi man lang nagbago ang expresyon ng mukha nito habang nakatingin sa'kin. He just stood there.

Iniayos ko ang upo sa swivel chair saka hinarap siya. "Nabasa mo ba ang sinend ko?" with that question, I saw his face slowly falling down. That only means one thing, he read it.

The bags under his eyes says it all. I wonder what he's feeling right now... it must be very painful to him.

"I can't believe that possibly can happen. At 'kay Ray pa talaga. She doesn't deserve any of this." he let out. Halata sa boses ang nararamdaman niya.

"Well.. Raychel is not lucky enough." I commented, grinning ear to ear.

"Hindi ko alam kung paano 'to sasabihin sa kaniya pati na rin kay Kuya Nash, they need to know this. Pero hindi ko alam kung paano. Hindi ko rin yata kayang sabihin sa kanila 'to. " he's talking to his self again. He can't help it.

"I believe, there's always a right time and right place for everything. Hindi ba?" I started. He looked at me in wide eyes.

"You're not being yourself Nile Glenn. Where's that Nile Glenn who can already think ahead of the future, who can create a plan in no time, who's the most intelligent when it comes to deciding on what to do?" I smirked, looking at him directly on his eyes.

"You realized something right? while staring at the picture. While no one hasn't realize a thing or even think about it. You're the one who can solve the problem, the one who can end this farce and more importantly— the one who can control everything starting from now on. It's for you to decide wether to do something or not to do something. The power is in your hands, don't let anyone steal it from you."

I moved my hands infront of him habang sinasabi ang mga katagang iyon. He needs to understand. Or else nothing will happen. Siya lang ang may kakayahan na tapusin ito.

"Can't you understand it? starting from now on—because of the information you discovered, you can control the situation." paglilinaw ko pa sa kaniya. I know he can understand me pero nagdadalawang isip pa ito.

"I.. I need to tell this to them." I gritted my teeth sa sinabi niya. I glared at him ngayong hindi ito sa'kin nakatingin.

"Nile Glenn," I called his name saka tumayo. Slowly approaching him, ramdam ko na ang sakit ng pagkakabaon ng mga kuko ko sa kamay sa sobrang pamimilog nito.

Bago pa man siya makapagsalita, I tightly held his collar using both of my hands and pinned him to the wall. No time to react, he looked at me in complete shock. I know, this is not so me but suddenly felt like doing this to him lalo na't ngayon ay nasa kaniya na ang lahat ng kasagutan.

"L-Lloyd..?" the way he stuttered send chills through my whole body. Making me smile widely.

I take a closer look to his frightened face, what a very beautiful expression. Hindi ko alam na kaya niyang gumawa ng ganyang expresyon. It makes me want to hit him.

"Do you understand what I'm explaining? or do you want me to make you understand it on the hard way? I'm doing everything I can to help you. Don't be such a chicken Nile Glenn, take responsibility on what have you done." I almost groaned. My hands is itching to hit him anytime from now.

"I understand.. that's why l-let me go a-already."

With that I let go of him harshly. He coughed while holding his now messy collar. Kita pa ang bakas ng kamay ko sa leeg niya.

Inayos ko naman ang lab coat at muling umupo sa swivel chair, looking at him with dead in the eyes.

"Good job, Rivaille."

"Then? what are you going to do?" I smirked, both hands under my chin.

"Pag-iisipan ko pa, hindi ako puwedeng magpadalos-dalos sa paggawa ng plano." aniya, feeling his neck using his right hand.

My smirked immediately turn into a smile nang marinig ang sagot niya. Iyan ang sagot na kanina ko pa hinihintay, I'm sorry kung nadala ako ng emosyon ko.

Hinarap ko ang CP ko saka iyon binuksan. Maraming tabs agad ang sumalubong sa'kin matapos iyon buksan. I started doing my business when I heard Nile Glenn say something.

"Lloyd.. are those.. tears?"

I looked at him in full curiosity. Naka-angat pa ang isang kilay ko na nakatingin dito. He pointed at me dahilan para magtaka ako.

I then held up my hand to feel my cheeck. Until a wet substance touched it. I looked at my now wet hand. Just what is this?

"What..?"

"Lloyd, you're crying."

I looked at him again after he said that. "What do you mean?"

He approached me, then suddenly I found his face closer to mine, both of his hands are touching my head to make me look at him.

"Those are tears Lloyd, no doubt. You really are crying." he stated.

I tried to push him off but to no avail. Mahigpit ang pagkakakapit niya sa ulo ko.

"I told you already, no one is crying. This wet substance you're calling might be sweat."

"There's no way! a tear can't possibly be a sweat. You're crying Lloyd! it's coming out from your eyes!"

"What about me? anong gagawin mo kung sakaling... isang araw mamatay ako?"

"Lloyd, are you sleeping again? seriously?"

"I bought this glasses for you, it's doesn't worth that much but I hope you like it. I spend my monthly allowance to buy that."

"I only.. want to dance with you."

"I see, thank you for always looking on the clubroom."

"You're lucky I brought two lunch boxes today, alam ko kasi na wala ka na namang dalang pagkain."

"I'm taking you to the infirmary, hindi maganda ang lagay ng katawan mo. You should take a rest."

"We'll talk tomorrow."

"Tell me if you're feeling down."

"I'll be always here if you ever want something."

"Then? let me hear your problem."

"Okay, I'll try my best."

"You can't hate your brother. Start to learn how to love him."

"Why not? hindi lahat ng tao nabibiyayaan ng nakakatandang kapatid kaya naman suwerte ka."

"Don't mind them."

"I always got your back on anything."

"When I was in kindergarden, I don't really feel like I belong there. All the kids are having fun while I only make their day bad."

"Sometimes, you just need to close your eyes and hope that something good will finally happen for the next day."

"I was already unlucky before I even met you, so don't worry."

"Because I am weak, I can't fight back."

"I'm Nikola Cecil Aique."

"You have an—what we called MPD or Multiple Personal Disorder."

"I also have a friend with the same disorder just like yours, but he was killed by his other identity."

"I like it when you call my name."

"Say it again for the last time.. I want to hear you call me by my name for the last time.."

"I'm sorry, I couldn't do anything about it."

"It's my time to go. I really enjoyed your company, Lloyd."

"Those days are the most important days of my life. The days I spent with you."

"I'm very sorry, I can't be with you anymore. I can't stand by your side. I can't fulfill my promise. We'll see each other on the other side when the day comes. There, I can finally promise not to leave you forever."

"Goodbye.. Lloyd."

"C-Cecil.." I couldn't take it anymore. Mas lalong sumasakit ang dib-dib ko nang marinig muli ang mga masasakit na salitang iyon.

My chest tightens making me hard to breathe. I can't hear anything. All I see is Nile Glenns' worried face, I can tell he's shaking me. But wala akong ibang maramdaman kundi ang naninikip kong dib-dib. It hurts so much.

"Why? why now? bakit ko ba siya naaalala ngayon? she's gone. Hindi ko na siya kayang ibalik pa. Cecil is gone!"

Bago pa man kainin ng kadiliman ang paningin ko. Ang huli kong nakita ay ang paiyak na mukha ni Nile Glenn kasabay na ng mahaba at malakas na tunog.

♡ ♡ ♡

For the third time of the day, I opened my eyes. Stood up and look around my surroundings.

This place..

I quickly look beside me after realizing where am I. I knew it, this place is very familiar to me. But.. why am I here? ang huling naaalala ko ay nasa clubroom ako.. and.. wait— what happened? I can't remember.

Nile Glenn. Where is he? bakit wala siya? where did he go?

"Lloyd."

My ears immediately rang after hearing the soft voice calling my name. That voice.. it can't be—!

As I look behind me. There she is, standing under the tree. She didn't grew an inch ever since the last time I saw her while I am two years older than her right now. She is still wearing her sailor uniform when we are still in middle school, her lab coat is gracefully flowing behind her.

"Cecil." I manage to call out her name.

It's been a while since the last time I called her name. Parang kailan lang lagi ko pa ito natatawag araw-araw.

She simply smiled at me, cheeks tinted in pink. I rarely see her smile when she was still good. The pain in my chest started again making me hold on it.

"Lloyd!" she called out before I could hear her soft footsteps approaching me. She stopped right infront of me then kneel.

"Are you okay?" Her voice shows full concern as she asked me that.

"I.. I'm not." I manage to let out.

"Your heart.. is weakening?"

I looked at her after she said those words. Her face became serious as she looks at me. She helped me to stand as we made our way to the tree, we sat there in peace.

"Why is your heart became weak?"

"Dunno. It just started to ache all of the sudden. Then poof.. I'm here."

She gasped before covering her mouth dahilan para mapatingin ako dito. Nanlalaki ang mga mata niyang nakatingin sa'kin. I'm glad she learned how to finally make facial expressions.

"Don't tell me.. you're already dead?"

Parang nabingi ako bigla sa sinabi niya. What does she mean I'm already dead?

"What are you talking about? there's no way..."

My words halted after the realization. I was suddenly brought here and Cecil is here.. then that only means one thing..!

"It can't be!"

"Lloyd, you need to go back now! if you stay here a bit longer then you will be really dead!"

Cecil pulled me up and pushes me on who knows where?

"But! Cecil I still wanted to talk about things!" reklamo ko habang pinipigilan ang mga kamay niyang patuloy sa pagtulak sa'kin. For a fifteen year old girl, she's too strong!

"No Lloyd! you can't! you need to go!"

"CECIL!"

I yelled her name, my throat feels like it's burning from the sudden yell. She stopped which gave me a chance to face her. Malaki ang kinaibahan ng tangkad ko kumpara sa tangkad niya that's why napilitan ako na iluhod ang isang tuhod. There, I can finally face her without any problem.

Her face is down kaya naman itinaas ko pa ito. Ginagawa niya ang lahat ng makakaya para hindi umiyak. She hates it after all kapag may taong nakikita siyang umiyak. Now that she started to quietly sob.

"I understand you want me to go. But please.. I don't want to feel guilty ngayong nasa harapan na kita ulit. Yes, I will go. I can't leave those people around. I still have to help them and be with them for a little longer. But now that you are here.. I want to cherish this very moment and have a clear look at your face."

In a blink of an eye, I don't know what exactly happened but I found my self normally standing infront of her. My body turned into a fifteen year old me. The me without a lab coat and only wearing my uniform.

"Me too.." Cecil mumbled. "I first thought that something is wrong because you are here. Which is wrong, you can't be here. I thought to myself, it's too early for you to die. Lloyd, please live longer."

I caressed her left cheek, smiling softly. "I will."

"I'm glad that you found people who you can trust and take care of. Don't you ever leave them. Stay by their side if ever. Don't repeat what I did to you. I messed up really bad that's why I'm here. I already accepted my fate so please accept yours."

Tears started to slide down on her soft cheeks, I wiped it off and finally, ang bagay na matagal ko ng gustong gawin. I enveloped her with a tight hug.

"You know me better than anyone else. Of course I will listen to you." I paused, natatakot pa ako na itanong ito sa kaniya but mas mabuti na ang sigurado.

"Cecil, will you promise to wait for me here?"

I could feel her arms slowly turning back the hug.

"Yes. I will wait no matter how long it will takes for me to wait. I will be always here, watching and waiting for you. Lloyd."

I broke the hug and looks at her for the last time. We are looking deeply at each others eyes, smiling as widely as ever.

She held my hand, as her eyes widened. The hand that she was just holding broke like a porcelain doll as it turns into tiny bit of pieces and soon vanishes into thin air. A cracking noise soon echoes kasabay na ng panghihinang nararamdaman ko.

The half of my body soon vanishes as my upper body still remained to float. I watched as Cecil look at me in awe. Bago pa man kumpletong maglaho ang buong katawan ko, I quickly pecked her forehead and mouthed her the 3 magic words saka siya nginitian sa huling pagkakataon.

Those 3 magical words—or so they say. Is the words that I never managed to say to her bago pa man siya mawala. I'm glad I can finally said it without any problem.

My vision was soon engulfed in darkness once again.

♡