57.

"I'll take you home," Theo offered in a low voice, after I had completely ignored his question previously.

I must've stood frozen there for a while, because he called out my name again, snapping me out of my trance.

"Oh, no. You don't have to."

"I want to. Let's go."

We began walking, his arm snaked around my hip, holding onto me as if I was going to collapse.

I must've looked so pale, and he must've noticed it.

"Theo, about what you said when we -"

"I meant it." He simply states, cutting me off with an assertive tone.

"You know I can't. It's not so simple."

"It can be."

"I can't afford to find out."

"Do you love him still?"

"No."

I had admitted it, out loud, to him, and it felt liberating yet frightening all the same.

But the basic truth was that I couldn't afford to leave him, even if our relationship had run its course.

"Then why stay?"

"Because he's the only constant I have left, and if I lose him, I'll have no one, and nowhere else to go."