40.

I didn't love him anymore - I knew this ever since the beginning, but I couldn't bring myself to believe it's truth.

The night I knew, I let go of all that hurt and pain, and gave myself in to him completely.

It was us and us alone - that night, Sam wasn't mine, my parents didn't fight.

All was right in the world.

But then the sun came up, and the fantasy had slipped through my fingers.

I was on the first bus back to campus in the early hours of the day after Christmas.

I had waited that afternoon for an announcement, the warmth of the indoor area to Redmond's main bus station calming my trembles ever so slightly.

And on the way back, all I could do was sleep.

I had been so exhausted, so deprived of any real peace over the weekend.

And I could've slept through to the end, if it wasn't for the person sitting behind me tugging on my sweatshirt, signalling my arrival at the campus.

The very empty, very miserable looking campus.

It was like looking in the mirror.