letting go

sitting in a pool of blood screaming in pain,

she felt the let down of labour but again too early he's not going to make it.

this was her third misscarrige but this time 7 months.

excruciating pain that she felt death may come at that moment simon appeared at the bathroom door.

"amy open the door...hey come on....I'm sorry I'm not angry about the party....I was tired....come on"

he'd had a fit when he came home to see a massive baby shower.amys mum organized it and was livid when he ruined it "simon I swear if you treat her like this I will take her back.graham made her his queen and never embarrassed her in front of anyone,if you REALLY love my daughter treat her right or fuck off"

when everyone left he was cussing she ran in the bathroom to have a bath and ignore his ranting.

she heard the door slam guess he went to get dinner ,he didn't want her to cook as she was getting very tired these days.

back to now he kicked the door and looked horrified he rambled

"amy omg,wat happened.....what's happening? should I get the ambulance or take u myself....I will get you sorted"

he ran around supersonic speed ,changed her clothes quickly but gently put a pad on and wrapped her in the sofa blanket.

at times like this it was great he was built and strong he picked up his very pregnant wife with no complaints, put her in the car and drove like a pro racer dodging lights, cars ,buggies and cats.reaching the Hospital in record time.

as amy was transferred he rushed to fill out the forms concerned only for his beloved wife.

this was to be the phase of change, they lost the baby and she was grieved by it but like the man he was before, he got her back on her feet.

this happened 3 months ago then he started his shit again all because she visited Graham's grave after work as it was his death anniversary.

"Why are you late today,you usually make this at 8,its 8.40?vgive me my kiss and sit on the floor you dont deserve to sit at the table"

She looks down kisses his cheek while he pulls he roughly and kisses her mouth in a domineering way.

She then gets pushed on the floor.

"Im pregnant again,I'm sorry I was late"

He smirked and rubbed her head.

She waited for his order to clear up his mess.

He never helped her neither did he care.

She lost her first love her babies and pride and in that fateful morning part of her self also died.

see he had been kind up until that morning months of regular simon,intense and loving bringing her back but that treatment has stopped.

he made her out like his toy,tossing her away after he was bored.

little did she know it was all because of her former husband who was dead.

a few months after he kept up this making her eat on the floor and the lifeless sex she now loathed,she began to harden and become vengeful.

six months into the pregnancy

one day she had stayed awake while he slept and thought of how to pay him back,she just had enough of his pieces of love,followed by pain and threats it's no way to live.

so from then she was determined to change him or leave.

slipping under the duvet they shared she turned to him and slapped his face with emense force,he woke with a start staring angrily.

she whispered "make love to me you fucking jerk "

he was stunned then he asked "are u ok?"

she huffed angrily "are u gonna do it or not you egotistical prick"

he looked at her stunned she punched him and confessed "you use me all the time and treat me like shit so I want u to make love as though u love me you fucking horrible monster "

he felt deep sadness at her words he gently held her and kissed her lips slowly looked in her eyes and whispered "I'm sorry baby,I'm a mess please don't leave me"

she stared daggers at him waiting for him to intoxicate her with his over powering love

as he eased her into thier love making she lost it,forgot all the bad just for the brief few moments of ecstasy she was letting go slipping out of this realm of hurt into his loving ministrations which felt sincere