99. This is it, the apocalypse

“Flipped?” Dr Burke queries. “Please explain.”

“Flipped one-eighty. This morning she said she didn’t want me there.”

“What, precisely, was said? From the beginning.”

Castle relates his words – leaving out exactly where he and Beckett had been, and their relative states of undress – but being precise about his words. “And then she came out and said I didn’t need to come like she shouldn’t have asked me. And she was just going to go off to work like nothing was wrong at all. I was – er – a bit irritated.”

“Mm?”

Castle relates, not without some pauses and a lot of wincing, the next part, with considerable accuracy.

“And so you went to find Detective Beckett in time for lunch?”

“Yes. But she wasn’t there. I mean, she wasn’t in the precinct. She’d been gone for an hour when I got there, and nobody knew where she’d gone.”

“Where was she?”

“Sitting in the park in the rain. No umbrella, no hat, nothing. She was dripping wet,” Castle adds, irrelevantly. “She didn’t seem to notice.”

“Mm. Was she pleased to see you?”

“Not obviously. She was completely flat. She didn’t even care about work. She always cares about murder, even if it’s only cold cases. I can’t think when she didn’t use work to deal with everything. She didn’t seem to care at all.”

Dr Burke is entirely unreassured by this comment.

“When Montgomery benched her she was absolutely devastated. I’d have said work was the most important thing in her whole life and she walked out and didn’t care that she’d been missing for hours.”

“What happened next?”

“I said I was coming to the session, and she said it was up to me, and when I said she’d wanted me there she said she shouldn’t have made me promise.” He stops, and pulls his voice under control again. “Then she said that we’d all been right and it was abuse and she didn’t need me there because you could deal with her dad and she was done with it.”

Dr Burke, safely in his office, winces, where no-one can see him.

“And then I asked if she’d still come to the Hamptons and she just said to see if I still wanted to tomorrow and – er – I sort of lost my temper a bit and then she did and then she got really nasty and just before I was about to bite back I remembered what you said.”

“Ah.”

“But I think I made a mistake.”

“Oh?”

“I said that she was yelling because I was there, but it was everything else she was really yelling about. And then she said I’d been yelling and told me I was just indulging my saviour complex” – Dr Burke draws in breath. Detective Beckett knows exactly how to hurt Mr Castle. He does have a saviour complex, but up until now this has been channelled into reasonably safe directions – “and I should leave her alone. She didn’t want me at tomorrow’s session and she wouldn’t come to the Hamptons. So I said I was going to come and she was coming to the Hamptons and then she said if I wanted gratitude” – much becomes instantly clear to Dr Burke – “I could have it, but that she wouldn’t be in this mess if it weren’t for me. And then she just walked off, and I didn’t know what to do.”

“Because you could not use the assertive physicality which you might have done in private?”

“Yeah. Being arrested isn’t that much fun.”

“Mm.” Dr Burke considers, briefly. “This is a very unhelpful development, Mr Castle.”

“Tell me something I don’t know.”

“However, I can see exactly how the situation has arisen.”

“Uh?”

“Mr Castle, with the best of motives and at Detective Beckett’s request, you and Detective O’Leary have led her to understand that the effects of her father’s behaviour are equivalent to being abused. Understandably, this realisation has made her very unhappy. You then took the correct option in staying with her.” Dr Burke pauses, to consider how he should describe the outcomes.

“Yeah, so? Why’d she suddenly blow up like that? I didn’t do anything.”

“I am afraid that is an incorrect assumption. Last night, you and Detective O’Leary – I quote – read her the riot act. In effect, in her mind, you told her what she should think about her father, forced her to realise that she was wrong, and you then compounded that by telling her what she should do in Friday’s session, being to tell him the truth.”

“But then she said she wanted me there,” Castle almost wails.

“Indeed. But that is the foundation for this morning’s disagreement. You made a jest that she was casting you aside till she needed you. That was… ill-judged.” There is mild rebuke in Dr Burke’s voice.

“Firstly, that is just the action which Detective Beckett currently believes her father took in relation to her, which has hurt her inordinately badly. She is hardly likely to react well to the suggestion, which you made in terms, that she is behaving as her father did. It is not in the slightest surprising that she promptly offered you the ability to walk away from her therapy session. She could hardly do otherwise, when faced with the statement that she was relying on you for support only when she needed or wanted it, and without considering your feelings.”

“But…”

“Secondly, Detective Beckett does not believe that she will be or indeed deserves supported, because her father did not or could not do so, and because of her guilt at walking away. You have proceeded, again in her mind, both earlier and later this morning, to tell Detective Beckett that she must behave in a certain way, being one of which you approve, in order to support her.”

“What? I wouldn’t. I didn’t.”

“But she thinks you have. It is up to Detective Beckett how her therapy progresses. You and Detective O’Leary have insisted that she recognise the abuse. You have attempted to insist that she tells her father the truth, and then that you should attend the session. Were I Detective Beckett, I might, in her already fragile state and in a situation where she has finally realised that everything she has believed to be true may be wrong, regard that as you wishing to ensure that she follows your script as to how the session should go. You have then informed her that regardless of her wishes she will be visiting the Hamptons with you. All of this has been conducted with anger and high emotions from both of you.”

Dr Burke pauses. There is silence on Mr Castle’s part.

“I am certain you did not intend this, Mr Castle, but can you not see how your behaviour this morning could be taken to be equivalent to that of Mr Beckett’s?”

“What? No. It wasn’t.”

“Unfortunately, it was taken as such. You have, so Detective Beckett thinks, effectively informed her of the way in which you expect her to behave: to wit, to be grateful for your assistance and to conduct her therapy in the way in which you have suggested: when she objects you have become angry and insisted that she should behave as you wish. In what way does that appear to her to differ from her father’s manipulations?”

There is a particularly horrible silence.

“But… but…” Dr Burke waits. “But she only had to say she didn’t want me there.”

“According to your own narrative, Detective Beckett did say that, and you ignored it.”

Another very unpleasant silence.

“But… but I never meant” –

“No. You did not mean to. I have no doubt of that,” Dr Burke says soothingly. “However, Detective Beckett is currently particularly emotionally fragile. There were only two options: that she allowed you to have your way, and potentially would come to resent it if she later considered that there were a similarity with her father’s behaviour, which we might well have avoided by careful management of Friday’s session; or that she considered that you were behaving in a way similar to her father and took immediate steps to ensure that she was not subject to it. It appears that you have triggered the second alternative. You have done so from the best of motives: to support Detective Beckett; and with the best of intentions; but having been pushed into seeing her father’s behaviour as abusive, and in a situation where everything she thought that she had been correct in doing was in fact wrong, she was then in a state of mind where even ordinarily supportive actions would readily be misinterpreted. She has fundamentally misinterpreted what you meant, but that does not change the outcome.”

“But I need to be there. You said so.” He sounds like a child appealing to higher authority.

“You cannot be there. Detective Beckett has said she does not want you there. Therefore you will not be there.”

“What? But…” No! He has to be there. He’s the one who holds her up, who lets her stand down.

“Mr Castle, this is Detective Beckett’s treatment. Regardless of what you or I might wish, you have no right at all to be a part of it unless she so requests. She has withdrawn her consent and you have told me this. It would be a disgraceful breach of my duty to my patient to allow you to be present without her explicit consent, which she will have to give to me herself. The most that I can now do is ask her to confirm whether she wishes you to be present. I shall not do so until as late as possible tomorrow. Perhaps she will have reconsidered by then.”

“But… but how… It won’t work unless I’m there.”

“There will be other ways to manage the session. There will have to be.” Dr Burke pauses. “I have another patient, Mr Castle, for whom I am now late. I must go. Thank you. Goodbye.”

Castle puts the phone down, absolutely distraught. Dr Burke’s comment that Beckett has fundamentally misinterpreted what he meant – which she has – is no consolation at all. He didn’t mean anything like that. He’s been so careful to leave it up to Beckett: to tell her – and mean – that it’s always her decision.

Right up till last night and this morning, in fact. Oh, fuck. She’s got it all wrong but there’s no way she’ll listen to him now. He doesn’t even know where she is, though he assumes that she went back to the precinct. He hopes that she went back to the precinct.

She hadn’t walked out the park in the direction of the precinct. Oh God. But surely she went back. Didn’t she? He can’t even get in touch with Ryan or Esposito to ask: he’s started enough hares running this morning. But surely she would have gone back to work? She’s a cop to the core, and work has always been her refuge.

Maybe later, maybe he should go to her apartment. Not to apologise. She misunderstood, and he’s not going to apologise for wanting to support her. To explain. To explain what he really meant and to reassure her that he won’t go if she doesn’t want him there. That she needn’t go to the Hamptons if she doesn’t want to. But he does want to: he wanted her there to tell her… to tell her… But he can’t bear to think that, right now.

Surely she will be at her apartment later?

Dr Burke disposes of his patient in good order, and then turns to the patient-free time which he has at four. He is quite considerably more worried than he had allowed Mr Castle to know. Detective Beckett should not have reacted to Mr Castle in that way. Dr Burke had been quite certain that she was well aware of Mr Castle’s feelings and, while he would have understood and indeed had expected that there might be some emotional outpourings of anger, he cannot immediately see a good reason for the instant shut down and removal of Mr Castle from the equation.

However, he is quite certain that if he reconsiders everything he has learned about Detective Beckett from herself, Mr Castle, and Mr Beckett, he will find the clue he needs. He procures a pot of tea, steeples his fingers beneath his chin, and slips into profound concentration.

Some moments later his eyes spring open. He has, naturally, found his clue. All it required was his focused attention. It had been Mr Castle who had said it. She was sodden drunk. Kept saying that she had to support everyone, that everyone needed her. She didn’t want anyone wanting anything any more. Mr Castle and Detective O’Leary had gone from unquestioning, unstinting support to demanding something of Detective Beckett. The only two people who had not, from Dr Burke’s knowledge, asked anything more of her than that she be herself, had made demands. They had, in fact, wanted something.

Ah. He rapidly dials Mr Castle. This must be followed up.

“Rick Castle.”

Mr Castle sounds extremely distressed. Dr Burke regrets this, but cannot do anything about it.

“Dr Burke, Mr Castle. I wish to ask you a question about the time when you called upon Detective Beckett and she was drunk. You told me that she had said that she did not want anyone to want anything from her. Is that correct?”

“Yes. Why?”

“Did Detective Beckett say anything more on that subject?”

“Yes. She said that Beckett had disappeared. Gone away.”

“Ah. Thank you.” Of course. Mr Castle had said that too, in a previous appointment.

“Is that it?” Mr Castle now sounds both distressed and irritated. Dr Burke regrets that he is now precluded from comforting Mr Castle with information.

“I require to think, Mr Castle. I must reconsider the way in which tomorrow might go. I may have further questions as my thoughts develop. Your insights remain profoundly helpful, but I cannot give you answers which I neither yet have, nor which I have consent to discuss with you.”

“Screwed all ways up,” Mr Castle says, profanely and bitterly.

“Mr Castle,” Dr Burke says, painedly, “what would you have me do? Betray all professional ethics, patient confidentiality and Detective Beckett’s trust; or leave you angered? I do not have a choice here. You do. I thank you for your answer, which will assist, and may, if you agree, have further questions.”

“What else can I do?” Mr Castle says miserably.

“Thank you. Goodbye.”

Dr Burke returns to his thinking. He is concerned that Detective Beckett may have finally broken under the pressure of her own repressed guilt and unhappiness, and the pressure of being needed. He is quite deeply concerned that she had abandoned her work, which she herself had described to him in highly positive terms. It seems worryingly likely that she has detached herself from almost everything to which she might have felt an attachment. Dr Burke recalls to the front of his mind another concern which Mr Castle had raised: that he believes that Detective Beckett is unconsciously planning to hurt her father so badly that there is no hope of a reconciliation. Dr Burke thinks that Mr Castle has failed to take the next step. Detective Beckett is unwittingly also planning to cause herself significant pain because she unconsciously believes that she deserves it for abandoning her father.

Detective Beckett, in fact, is unknowingly aiming for emotional, though certainly not physical, suicide. Dr Burke thinks with considerable irritation that Mr Castle’s mistake could not have been more badly timed, and with very much more self-recrimination that he should not have assumed that Mr Castle’s apparently innate ability to achieve the right method of dealing with Detective Beckett would continue. Without Mr Castle to ground her, there is no-one to stop her to whom she might listen. The best that Dr Burke can hope for is that Friday passes without an irrevocable breach between Detective Beckett and her father. It appears extremely unlikely that any amicable resolution can be achieved without the ability to rely on Mr Castle to calm Detective Beckett while Dr Burke temporarily extracts Mr Beckett from the situation.

Dr Burke rapidly reformats his plans for seeing Mr Beckett, which session is due very shortly. Indeed, Mr Beckett will be here any moment. How fortunate that Dr Burke is a very flexible thinker.

“Good afternoon, Jim.”

“Carter.”

“As we discussed when I asked you to come in, Detective Beckett has agreed to meet with you under my guidance tomorrow. I wished to have a short discussion with you before that to prepare you for the likely way in which this will progress, and to reiterate my strong suggestion that your sponsor should be within easy reach. On that note, I can, if you wish, provide him with a quiet space here.”

Mr Beckett nods, looking relieved. “I’ll tell him.”

“Now, concerning tomorrow. As a result of the incompetence of her earlier therapist, your daughter is, probably unknowingly, carrying considerable anger and resentment of the way in which she considers her life to have been spent. It can be expected that she will release all of that, most likely in a highly emotional manner.”

“Oh.”

“I am led to believe, by Mr Castle” – Mr Beckett raises his eyebrows – “who has kept me informed, that your daughter intends to treat this as if it were a police interview. I do not believe that this will last for very long. I do believe that she will endeavour to surprise admissions from you, and probably also endeavour to push you into reacting without thought. I counsel you to try not to react immediately, no matter how far you are provoked. Listen, and think. If you should consider at any time that the situation is too much for you, no matter how trivial it seems, you must signal and I will arrange for a time-out.”

“Oh.”

“From what Mr Castle has said, Jim, your daughter is on the edge of committing irrevocable actions. I do not wish to see that happen. There have been developments which mean that it is presently unlikely that Mr Castle will be present” –

“What? She’s had a fight with Rick?” Mr Beckett looks horrified.

“Yes, and it is still entirely possible that tomorrow’s session will not take place. If it does, at present, a good outcome might merely be that there is scope for another session at a later time. A bad outcome might well mean that you and your daughter make statements and counter-statements which lead to a permanent breach.”

Mr Beckett looks daunted and frightened by Dr Burke’s words.

“She’s really that close?”

“She is. I appreciate that I am asking you to do something extremely difficult. You will naturally wish to defend yourself and to show her that she is wrong. Do not. With input from me, and caution from you, Detective Beckett may yet talk herself round.”

Dr Burke pauses. His next statement will not go down well.

“Your daughter will accuse you of abusing her.”

“What the hell! That’s nonsense. I never did. I never would have.” Mr Beckett leaps immediately to anger. “How can she say that?”

“And there, Jim, is the reason why we are having this discussion now.”

Mr Beckett is stopped in his tracks. “Oh. Oh God. That’s exactly what you meant, isn’t it?”

Dr Burke nods. “Jim, you need to understand that abuse is not only physical. The way in which Detective Beckett has reacted to your alcoholism, both during and after, bears substantial similarities to the way in which victims of emotional abuse react. Allow me to explain.”

“You’d better.”

Dr Burke lays out the pathology, watching with concern as Mr Beckett becomes more and more strained and upset.

“So you see, Jim, all these matters are likely to be raised tomorrow. You have to be prepared.”

Mr Beckett nods, brokenly.

“Let us now take some time to discuss possible strategies, both without and with Mr Castle’s presence.”