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War-torn: The reborn

Fantasy
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Join Ezequiel keeper in a war-torn world where magic returns and beast of old walk the earth. follow him into the depths of an epic tale of tragedy, love and magic. The journey begins a Ezequiel keeper wakes up in his new body, hundreds of years in the future after dying in ruins of the old world.

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Chapter 1The Great Awakening

My name is Ezequiel keeper, one of the few survivors of the human extinction, or A.E. Well, I wouldn't call myself a real survivor. I am a war-torn. The day it killed me, my soul became trapped in something my grandmother made, a liberty jewel (soul-keeper stone). I became a war-torn linked to a soul- keeper stone from that moment on, waiting for the vessel linked to my soul-keeper stone to recover me.

The year is 1670 A.E. and today is my resurrection day. As I am collected, I vaguely felt the transfer to my jewel from my decaying vessel. I set out on my quest to fix this corrupt dark world by whatever means I can use, but first I need to become much stronger. I set out for the holy grail tomorrow. The holy grail is an ancient war-torn armory based on the vessel memories. Holy grail seems to be in what used to be Tokyo, Japan. The vessel also says the person responsible for the extinction is Triton the treacherous, is holding what used to be America as his home. My stone was in central China, where I was backpacking ancient ruins.

My journey begins with syncing my liberty jewel to my war-born to begin reconstruction, altering the external and internal energy to resemble my original body. Using the power gathered by my extended stay as a liberty jewel, I could finish my reconstruction in about 8 hours before entering rest mode. I wake up refreshed and fully in control of my body, and I set out on the search for the holy grail.

I began heading east searching for any signs of human activity when my war-torn played a message from my grandmother saying "if you are hearing this message that means I am dead, but you are alive and that is all I could have wished for. My only advice for you is to gather as many souls as you can and advance in the ranks of war-torn. There are many factions in the new world with war-torns of their own. Live on with the second chance I have given you."

With tears in my eyes and a heavy heart, I mourn for my family and friends lost in the Great Awakening, where Triton sacrificed human life to reactivate magic in the world, awakening many demons and stuff from nightmares. My first day, I ran into a pack of wargs (mutated, diseased dogs). I could only kill one before retreating and taking its corpse with me. Hiding in a cold cave, I start a fire with wood I collected on my retreat, blocking the entrance with a large rock except a small hole for ventilation.

I skin and clean the wargs meat, so I can boil and eat it after decontaminating its meat. Upon cleaning, I find a small emerald shard and my war-torn tells me it is a soul-shard used to increase my power and learn. After I consume the soul-shard, my war-torn shudders as an old blade slid from my back. I got an intro to the weapons system that my father especially crafted the blade for my 25th birthday.

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Black_lotus_2004
Black_lotus_2004Lv14

I am going to be honest here..... 1. Writing quality is not upto the mark....it has some grammatical mistakes and no spaces in between sentence, which makes it bland to read. There are some minor mistakes here and there like, With a cheap technique every war-torn has installed eat the shard and absorb.....eat should be replaced. Narattive is something that I am not used to because, it is just a first person narrative, maybe author could try writing in a way that make the story real. for example:" I saw a vast expanse cold snow every where, I was surrounded by snow and was shivering." to.... A vast expanse of snow appeared in his sight...he noticed that he was shivering because of the snow around him etcetc. You don't just have to use a first person narrative but could actually use any form of narrative depending on the situation to make it more interesting. 2. Story is good though...it has potential, not much to say about it. 3. Character design is good but can be improved, by giving other side characters a personality and their own perspective on how they react to things, like describing their inner thoughts and back stories etcetc. 4. Updating stability is also a problem, but since creation is hard, it takes time to make a chapter......so I can understand. 5. World background is interesting also interesting. Give this story a try if you are interested... As for the author, pls don't feel offended by my review, it is my honest opinion of your work. You can try using Google docs for the grammar and sentence structures, your novel will improve...

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