Dysphoria

Back in the current timeline of 2022, I logged off from my nerve gear, and then took it off, "Time to take a break…" I sighed, "That was intense. It felt too real, too vivid, as if I was actually there. Experiencing everything. I felt emotions, tasted food and drinks, and all the rest of the five senses all at once. Just like a dream."

I sat up from my bed, and tried to adjust my vision. Then, I passed out.

***

I woke up full of white walls, with a white ceiling and white floors. I seem to be in a gatch bed, with dextrose attached to the back of my hand. I rested for a bit, fell back asleep and had a short dream about the world I was living in that virtual reality headset.

***

I woke up once more, the memories from my dreams faded away too quickly after a few minutes of trying to sit up to adjust my blurred vision. Then, the nurse walked inside to check on me, as she called the doctor to come quickly. Since of course, I was finally awake.

***

"It turns out you had a seizure from using too much VR." Says the old doctor, wearing glasses, "You need to lessen the amount of hours you put your brain in there, Klei. Here are some anticonvulsants-"

"No," I interrupted him, "I already take anticonvulsants for my manic episodes."

"What do you take?"

"Valprox."

"I see. Interesting. Did you have any dreams about your virtual reality sequences?"

"Yes, I did. It was about an AI. But it somehow connected from this current timeline. An AI designed to kill, created by the government. Technology is moving too fast… I can't keep up."

"Here's some risperiDONE. These are to make sure you won't hallucinate after you use VR too much."

"I also already take that, for my psychotic episodes."

"What else do you take?"

"Lexapro."

"Anything else?"

"No."

"Alright, we'll try some other medications to adjust with your other meds." He started writing my prescription and ripped it out from his writing pad, and handed it to me, "Remember, your dreams might be premonitions. Because you've been in the future for too long, you will start to dream about the future too. Which of course, will happen in your current timeline in VR."

"Thank you, doctor."

"No problem."

***

As soon as I got home, I looked into the mirror and my current 21st century self's face distorted to my VR self. I was frightened to see that my current self in this timeline changed to the other self I have.

I took my pills, probably overdosed on them out of panic, and passed out a little while later as I rested on my bed.

***

I woke up, once more, and I was tired. I was too depressed to have breakfast, or take my favourite morning shot of espresso, and not even do my morning rituals, that are supposed to freshen me up in the day. I didn't even get out of bed first thing in the morning. As I only got up from my bed after four hours of lying down, feeling terrible.

Usually I would get excited, next thing in the morning, waking up at dawn. Because I don't drink coffee to wake up, I wake up to drink coffee. It's my favourite thing, other than anything else, and to smoke a cigarette alongside it. However, I need to write that next chapter, if only I even had the motivation to do so.

Yet, I am too depressed to do it. Lest I don't, I will not get paid, and I might even get demoted from my rank as one of the best writers.

I sighed, "From someone that is bipolar, I usually write 50,000 words within four hours. But my depressive episodes last for half of an entire year. What will I ever do?"

Instead of doing my responsibilities for WebFik, I put on the VR headset, and logged on, and inside the metaversal universe of my reincarnated timeline.

***

I am back, as Skitzy. The memories from earlier had disappeared, like a dream faded away after waking up. I spent a few hours strolling around the streets of Euphorium, as I went to visit an old friend in the slums, where the middle class reside. The middle class only reside in the higher parts of the main city of Euphorium, where the poor slums are outside of the city itself, as the higher class of the financial hierarchy only reside in the city.

As for the lower class? They either don't exist, or rather just a myth. We are told that they are tribal men, surviving in the wilderness through old practices of the ancient ways, just like the stone age. And we were given the mythical belief, such superstitious stories that they do witchcraft through pagan religions, and they are the happiest people alive, without the need of technology. They are the true utopian world within itself.

***

I've arrived at the slums, where I met my older cousin, Benjie. A dark skinned man, with a very skinny body build, having his hair to stand up as if they were hedgehog's spikes, to which are slicked back from the top of his head, with zero shaved at the back and both sides of his head.

"Yo, what's gucci mane?" I called out to Benjie, as he was cutting someone's hair, in his barber shop, the usual.

"Yo, Skitzy! How's it?" He replied, gladly, and seemingly slightly excited to see me again.

"I know you ain't just any barber, JiJi. Can you fix me up?"

"Be quiet… of course I'll fix ya right up. After I'm done with, well…" Benjie looks over at the other twenty customers, sitting together, reading old traditional newspapers, which were back in 2022.

"So, how's work recently, JiJi?"

"Decent, still need a little bit more money to get back in Euphoria City. How about you? How's your parents?"

"My… parents?"

"Yeah, how are they? Your nanay, and tatay, of course."

"They died when I was ten years old. I guess the news didn't reach you because you were down here, in this dirty pathetic place."

"What? What happened?!"

"Mercenaries killed them out of nowhere. Heard their jealous client wanted them dead. They were the bestselling authors in all of Euphorium, remember? With that high status, someone ought to be jealous, probably another author who got rejected, with too much ego."

"Really? Holy shit, Skitzy. I'm sorry to hear that…"

"Then, I became a merc me'self. That's when I met up with Alex, and Lezly. Then, Alex died during a job, and I stopped being a merc. That's when I'd rather follow my parents' footsteps and do their legacy as to be one of the top authors in Euphorium."

"Then, what happened? Did you get accepted?"

"No, sadly. I lost everything, and wanted to be a merc again. I was born to do that."

"I wouldn't encourage it but… it's your life. I can't control what you do. However, I could see why you're here now. You need an upgrade. Come meet me downstairs, follow me." He stopped shaving half of the hair of the unfinished customer, "Sorry guys," he apologised to everyone in his shop, "I have an important business. I'll be quick."

Then, everyone awed in utter disappointment, as everyone left the shop. The current customer was pissed off and said, "I review this shithole a zero out of five stars!"

"Skitzy," Benjie continues to talk, as he leads me down into his basement, "I have a new updated software. I can jailbreak your iDex and install all of the military grade cybernetic enhancements, and upgrade all of your specs that are so top secret and confidential from the government. It's a million times faster, and better than SpaceZ! And I am not even exaggerating!"

***

I lay down on the orthodontic hair, comfortably. Then, Benjie went to his computer, sitting down onto the green chair with black outlines. With his CPU with twenty fans, full of different colours of strobe lights, as its case were transparent.

Benjie then uses his mouse as a joystick to the other lobotomy devices above me as I lie back on the very chair. That's when he used one of the stingers over me, in order to administer an anaesthetic into my neck, straight to my brain.

Then, Benjie did his thing, in order to apply every upgrade beyond human comprehension, but the sight was gruesome, full of blood and gore. Then, he patched me up quickly with his other devices onto his computer, attached to the orthodontic chair to put my body back to normal.

That's when Benjie administered adrenaline into my neck, as I woke back up, feeling absolutely nothing.

"How are you?" Asks Benjie, "Do you feel more powerful?"

"No, I don't feel anything at all." I answered.

"Exactly, you're not supposed to feel anything," He grins at me, "they're just cybernetic enhancements. Although, I know you only came here for one thing only, is to jailbreak your iDex. In order for you to avoid your tracks from the operators, and get away with your 'crimes'."

"I see. So, what did you just put in me then? I know this isn't legal, you're not even permitted to do things like these. The ops might come get ya'."

"Don't worry about me, I'm just here to help. You did your best for your nanay and tatay, but I don't think this is the way you should do things around here. 'Just do legal jobs, get yourself back up to the top.', that's what you told me before when Alex died."

"Don't bring Alex into this. Plus, I am not at the top, but I will put an effort to do so. And there is no other way around. That's why you're stuck here. How much do I owe you?"

"Skitzy, you don't have to pay me for anything. Remember when you were a kid? I gave you free haircuts every now and then, back in those good ol' days."

"Thanks, pinsan."

As soon as I got up from the chair, suddenly, a bunch of bounty hunter mercs stormed the place, and they shot Benjie's face right in front of me.

I shouted his name, "Benjie!". Then, I went to kill the motherfuckers, but before I could even reach them to use my cybernetics, they shot me with a special tranquilliser that administers a virus into my cybernetics, causing my brain to go delirious.

I couldn't save him. They all left with the body, as the last thing I heard was, "We got him, we got the non permitted cyber therapist. Looks like he had military grade equipment.", "Shit, really? This is crazy.", as they kept on talking, whilst my head had gone dizzier to the point that everything in all of my five senses had faded from blurry to passed out.