Chapter 3: Pinji

"Alright, everyone, let's move two steps to the front!"

"Yes, move your chairs, like that."

"Participants, align with the pickle human!"

"Kuhum, move to the right, just a little bit. Perfect!"

"Brother Yi, now you can start. Please, tell us your story…"

"My story? Very well…" Yi Ren spoke as he cleared his throat and stepped in front, putting his box down before his feet.

"I don't remember much of the past. I don't know who my parents are, nor where I was born, or what I did before arriving to the sect.

I just remember waking up one day. I was in the middle of the forest as a fourteen year-old boy, wandering through it whilst doing my best to stay alive. That didn't last long, however, as I found myself in the proximity of the sect, so I was consequently found by an elder.

He brought me to the sect, gave me my current name, and taught me how to cultivate emphasizing that I was a talented individual. Sigh, Elder Yue couldn't continue teaching me anything because he unfortunately perished in the battle of Flaming Charcoal Mountain only a month after I arrived.

It's been a year and a half since then and I'm currently at the 6th level of the First Realm. My passion and what I do is making use of the physical world along with spiritual energy to-" Yi Ren was in the middle of his final explanation before he was interrupted by a loud cough.

"Kuhum, Brother Yi, not that story. I meant about your box…" Fang Chang casually remarked, feeling a little bit awkward inside.

"Oh, that! I see… Well it all started two months ago. I went on a mission, you know, those you casually choose only to fulfill the monthly requirement about picking up some herbs and that kind of thing.

So, I was walking leisurely through the lands –I was slightly distracted thinking about my bottleneck in research of patterns and formations– when suddenly, the ground beneath me disappeared. Well… I don't know how it exactly happened because I wasn't really paying attention; the point is I fell into a dark hole."

Yi Ren then proceeded to finally take off his weird sunglasses that covered most of his face, revealing a pair of bright lime eyes full of vitality that seemed to contain all life, making a weird contrast with his dull matte gray robe. He looked above average in cultivator's terms, but it wasn't enough for all girls to fall for him. His haircut also didn't help him, as his brown hair was basically cut to resemble a cube…

"Did you find something there?" Plummy Fang asked in an inquiring tone, smoothing the process of the storytelling.

"Indeed! I followed a narrow path that led me to a bigger cave… I thought it was an ancient ruin or an old tomb at first –you know they're everywhere and are very easy to find– and that I could get some pills or weapons, but all I found was a cube!"

"A cube?"

"It wasn't any cube; it was the size of my fist and it was full of lines as thin as hair that formed strange patterns… If I could replicate them by hand it would take me more than a century!"

"I really didn't understand anything at all, so I just thought of it as a nice souvenir and came back. Even though it was half buried in the ground of the cave it was still very shiny, so I deemed it as pretty."

"After many days of observing the cube in my room I realized a tiny detail I wasn't able to gauge at the cave: some tiny little dots when the lines started and finished. I then had a bold idea; what if those tiny dots were some sort of way to connect the cube to something else?"

"That was the first step. After that I began to experiment until I finally could recognize the function of the unseen artifact, it was a brain!" Yi Ren took a long breath before he could continue talking because of his fast pace.

"Yes, ladies and gentlemen, what you're about to see is the epitome of my field: the creation of living creatures through the use of spirit energy, patterns and materials. Please receive… Pinji!

And only a moment after saying that Yi Ren opened the box at his feet and took out a funny looking object: its body was a half meter thick rectangular prism supported by two horizontal track wheels, there were two long metal sticks as arms and a smooth gray metal cube as a head.

Said head appeared to be wearing the same 'eye protectors' as Yi Ren, and a small square shaped hole as its mouth.

As soon as it reached the ground, the little robot started moving slowly forward without stopping, as if it was trying to escape. Moving the metal bars at its sides up and down, like punching the air downwards.

"yeye yeyeye, yeye, yeeee." A high-pitch voice escaped from the hole that resembled the robot's mouth, sounding like a bad quality, pre recorded radio transmission.

"Woah"

"It talks!"

"Hello Pinji!"

"What's that thing?"

The crowd was a bit startled; that was something they had never seen nor heard before, so it was unexpected.

"Wow! Brother Yi, you have surprised us yet again!

Do you understand what little Pinji is saying?

If so, could you tell us?"

"Kuhum, sure I can! Pinji said that he was very happy to be alive and that he was thankful to me, his creator!

Don't try to leave, Pinji. Come right back! There… got you."

Yi Ren pursued the little square shaped robot and grabbed it by its should-be shoulders, bringing it back to its original position while it 'struggled' by moving the thin metal sticks at its sides up and down.

"Awww, how cute!"

"It looks so pretty!"

Yi Ren smugly scanned the surroundings. When he realized everyone was surprised, he inwardly nodded. 'Good. Isn't this an irresistible gift?' He thought, approaching the judges sitting on the chairs.

"How do you see it, Senior Sister Ming, it's a gift for y-" Yi Ren was about to confess his love once again until an unexpected laughter interrupted him.

"Hehehehe… hehehe… HEHEHEHEHE HAHAHAHAHA!"

"What is that?"

It was Ling Zhou, he suddenly started laughing crazily while sitting in a lotus position, moving both of his hands upwards, appearing like a super villain.

"Brother Ling, are you okay?"

"OKAY!? I'M BETTER THAN I HAVE EVER BEEN! MOREOVER I FEEL LIKE I AM INVINCIBLE!"

"Umm, Brother Ling, I don't really think you are okay, let me take you to rest, okay?" Plummy Fang said in a concerned tone.

If the participants and founders of the Outer Disciple's Talent Competition of Gray Grass Sect had one rule, it had to be that at the minimum sign that something could've gone wrong; they would immediately stop everything and try to fix the situation.

This rule didn't come from their wisdom or intelligence, but from experience. Something going wrong wasn't very rare.

So, because of their experiences in past competitions, everyone excepting Ming Daiyu, her friend Feng Mai and one of the spectators called Bai Shang, reacted; moving rapidly on the 'stage'.

The fastest out of all of them, Yang Pei, who was also the male judge, went out running with the purpose of finding help. The heaviest; Plummy Fang, threw himself on top of Ling Zhou, who was still in the process of resuming his monologue, carrying all his weight and fat along his momentum.

Hundreds of possible scenarios traveled through his head. The possible outcomes of such events also came to his mind, making the best choice he could think of. He was a professional in this kind of situation.

Yi Ren took the little robot Pinji to put it on its box again and Wang Fan moved his eyes from one side to the other inside his Pickle Armor, as cracks started appearing on its green surface.

The gossiper spectator backed off calmly, full of expectations. It had been a couple of months without accidents. This had him disappointed because accidents were the only reason for his visits.

The rest didn't have the time to react, as they didn't expect everyone else to move suddenly, they were standing with weird expressions.

Just as Plummy Fang was about to fall on top of the unfortunate alchemist, an old stick appeared in front of him, blocking his trajectory. He was hit and his chest stopped its movement, but his legs, head and fat still had momentum, moving forward. The stick was completely enveloped by Plummy Fang's fat for a moment, until he fell to the ground, but the stick was still pressing his chest.

Yang Pei, who still was in the middle of running away, stopped his movement, looking back unconsciously, only to accelerate with much more intensity, escaping.

Grabbing the stick holding Plummy Fang down was an old man. He had a weird posture; his back was straight but his neck was pushed forward, appearing like an old turtle. He had a white mustache and messy gray hair, wearing a light gray robe.

"Oh no, it's Stick-old-man!"

The experienced spectator recognized the old man. He was infamous in the sect, not only because he carried a stick he didn't need for walking, but because he used it to repeatedly hit kids as a form of punishment. It was clear he didn't need the stick because, although it looked like he used it to maintain his balance, the stick never touched the floor!

There was always a gap between the floor and his stick, as if the end of it was transparent, but the most experienced disciples of the sect who had been through many beatings knew: there was no transparent end of the stick! It was a common, normal and unmodified stick.

There was even a rumor circulating around, saying that the distance between the stick and the floor wasn't random. It was said that it once had a fixed distance, but it now shrank with the passage of time. Of course, this couldn't be confirmed. Some brave ones tried to investigate this thoroughly but ended up being victims of the might of Stick-old-man's stick.

This little information made this person a very mysterious and scary existence; no one understood his behavior and no one knew what it meant!

The only thing they knew was that, if you were to be caught doing the smallest mischief by this person, you would be beaten up by his stick, and you would not be able to stand for 3 days and 3 nights.

Plummy Fang was already imagining his unfortunate destiny as he closed his eyes, waiting for the pain.