Voice

Where am I? Why do I have this sense of déjà vu? I can't see, I can't feel. All my twenty-one senses are numbed. But I have this gut feeling that tells me, I've been in this situation before. However, there seems to only be a feeling of hopelessness left. What could make me give up? "Jelly is good" seems to be the only thing I can remember.

...

Where am I? ... "Jelly is good" seems to be the only thing I can remember.

...

This inexplicit feeling of understanding everything; where did it come from? I can't remember anything, but it feels like a natural reaction to question everything. Is that what I truly think or are these someone else's thoughts? Especially since it doesn't seem like I suffer from total amnesia as I can still remember "Jelly is good."

Jelly would then have to either be someone really important to me or someone who's supposed to protect me. Since it's the only thing I can remember, I'll ignore the second possibility for now and assume that it is someone really important. Is Jelly a part of my direct family or a sworn brother? A lover or a wife? Maybe even my child.

The possibilities are endless, and I desperately need more information about my current circumstances. I have this unexplainable feeling that as soon as I stop thinking and concentrating, I will disappear. I will prevent that at all costs.

...

Seems like my attempts might just end up futile. I've been here so long that I can't think of anything else to think about. Just the aspect of `I can't think of anything anymore,´ has been covered at least a few thousand times. By this time I have accepted my fate of disappearing as there is a slight chance it could change my circumstances.

I might end up in heaven, maybe even join the samsara cycle and be reborn stronger. However, there would then also be a chance of being reborn as a puny life form like an ant. Slaving away for a lifetime, being constantly manipulated by the hive mind's thought pattern.

If that does happen, at least there would be a definite possibility of once again reincarnating once my ant lifespan ends. As reincarnation would prove the existence of souls, I hope my soul has become strong enough to bring my memories along.

Or do I really want that?

This period of time has been going on forever and my brain would probably directly explode if it was all injected at the same time. I also just want to live a normal life. I'll make it my goal to stay inconspicuous, as that's the best proven way to guarantee survival.

Peace out.

...

...

Where am I? Why do I have this sense of déjà vu? I can't see, I can't feel. All my twenty-one senses are numbed. But I have this gut feeling that tells me, I've been in this situation before. However, there seems to only be a feeling of hopelessness left. What could make me give up? "Jelly is good" seems to be the only thing I can remember.

...

No matter what I do, I get this feeling of familiarity. The same as the kind that would develop from a lifelong habit. Like waking up every day at 6 am sharp to go to work. It feels so natural and worries me immensely.

Is it possible that I am stuck in someone else's Groundhog Day? How many times has he messed up or did he already give up? To be honest, if it was me, I would try to learn as much as I could and master different fighting styles. I would have to kill myself every day, but pain doesn't seem to be a foreign concept to me.

Now that I actually think about it, as long as that person has half a brain, he would do exactly that. It would create the best possible situation to train skills that need resources without wasting anything. And with enough practice, you would be able to do impossible stunts like jumping out of a plane without a parachute and surviving by doing a few perfect rolls.

I wish I could get that kind of opportunity. On second thought, I don't need that kind of opportunity, I just want my freedom. However, without a body, the only thing that would change is the appearance of my surroundings. But if I get a body, I would gain the option of killing myself. I wouldn't even need to kill myself, as I would starve in here. But wouldn't death be exactly what I need?

If given the option, would I kill myself or wait for starvation?

...

But then I heard it. An actual voice. In this godforsaken place. A voice that wouldn't fit any kind of person. It sounded like a dying old man's last wish, but at the same time like a newborn's first cry. It wasn't a voice that could be produced by a life form. It contradicted itself with how murderous yet loving it sounded. Just hearing it made my soul start to collapse.

>>Let's have some fun<<