webnovel

Vanishing Embers

In a world full of magic and wonder, Aisha is a girl born without a soul. Bitter and self-loathing, Aisha is unable to experience empathy, rendering her alone. But her life changes when she falls helplessly in love with a kind girl, forcing her to confront challenges she has never before, while grappling with her newfound attachments. Join Aisha as she learns to change and grow, in the midst of a world mired in conflict. Encountering monsters, demons, and worse, she must pull herself up from the depths of despair, to chase the last ember of hope and love she might ever hold. (GL Story)

Lithkren · Fantasie
Zu wenig Bewertungen
117 Chs

Ex Machina

"Aisha…" Sui said softly. "What would you do, if I decided to join her?"

"Her?"

.

Sui blushed slightly. "Uh… my… I don't…"

"To begin with…" Aisha mumbled. "I was doing this for you. Whatever you decide, I'll support your decision."

.

Aisha hesitated for a second, words on the tip of her tongue, but she was hesitant to let them out. Eventually, though, she shook her head, letting her feelings loose.

.

"It's what a friend would do." Aisha said softly. "You've been following me around this whole time, fighting with me, supporting me… I… am going to return the favor."

.

Sui's shoulders slumped, as if a great weight was lifted off of them.

"Thank you, friend." She whispered. "This defective unit doesn't deserve your support."

.

Aisha decided to ignore Sui's self-deprecating comment.

"Are you going to?" She asked.

.

"I don't know."

"Are you even going to open the box?" Aisha asked. "To make your own judgment?"

.

.

"I don't know if I want to." Sui admit. "I don't know if I want to know the truth."

"Huh?"

"I love the doctor." Sui confessed, a slight choke to her words. "She built me. Cared for me. Taught me everything that I knew. I love the guild. I love all the people in it. Even though I… even though I was a machina, they treated me like… like- like I was a real person. I don't want to hate them. I don't want to fight them! I don't- after everything that they've given me, I don't want to betray them…"

.

"Even if they did something terrible?" Aisha mused. "To your sisters?"

.

"I don't know!" Sui cried, servos whirring erratically as she buried her face in her hands. "Am I a real person? Do I- do I even care, or are these - are these just a set of instructions!? Did the doctor put these feelings in me as a test!? To see if I would betray her? I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I AM ANYMORE!"

.

Aisha gave Sui a look of sympathy, putting a hand on her back, as the mechanical girl shook softly, clearly distressed, but unable to cry. It was… sad. She was such an innocent spirit… but now, she was forced in-between the things that she loved. Between her purpose, and her feelings.

.

Aisha didn't envy her.

.

"You're a person to me." Aisha said simply. "You're as real as anyone I've ever met."

.

Sui just looked down at the floor, her legs crossed sadly in front of her. She stared for a short while, before she turned to Aisha, the paint on her ceramic mask bleeding from the rain.

.

"How do you deal with it?" She asked. "You are… you are a combination of many things now. Of many different souls. Of different energies. You are… you scan as a monster to us, because your soul… it is almost identical to one."

Aisha raised an eyebrow. "It is?"

Sui nodded. "It is a wonder how you haven't gone insane. In a monster's soul, there are millions of fragments of different energies. That is why… even though their brains are fully intact, all monsters are insane. Each fragment is its own life, fighting for control."

.

Aisha thought for a long while, tilting her head to the side curiously. It was true. In fact, it was doubly curious, given that she never had a soul of her own to begin with. The soul in her body was 100% not hers. And yet, it flowed through her body, her mind.

.

And she was still Aisha.

.

"That's a good question." Aisha mused. "What makes me… me, huh?"

.

Sui nodded desperately, waiting for an answer, but Aisha just smiled after a second, the answer obvious to her.

.

"My mistress." She answered. "My love. That's what makes me me."

.

.

.

[

"None of these spells are even close to good enough." Aisha mumbled, pacing furiously in her mindspace. "They're just - the souls of people that I could beat a week ago."

"Yeah." Aiyu nodded.

.

"I tried… layering spells on top of each other." Aisha reasoned. "That kind of worked."

"Errrr… Yeah, sure."

.

"But that was still just - I was just casting spells on top of each other!" Aisha said in frustration. "I need something better than that!"

"I don't know what to say." Aiyu spread her arms out in front of her, shadowy wisps flickering off her hands. "I have given you… well, pretty much everything I have."

.

"I know, I know." Aisha sighed. "But… I'm close. I'm close! I have all the pieces!"

"You're missing what the pieces all fit into."

.

"Yeah." Aisha sighed. "What the pieces…"

.

"You're getting all metaphorical now." Aiyu said, crossing her legs in an amused way. "I thought you weren't that kind of person."

"I feel like that's all I can do." Aisha mumbled, turning to her shadow. "I can't think of anything concrete."

.

Aisha blinked, and her brows furrowed, face twisting into an annoyed expression, seeing Aiyu's new form. Being in just a manifestation of her own thoughts, it was understandable how the shadow did so - after all, it had no impact on anything physical at all. But still, Aisha's face grew upset, and Aiyu's expression turned into a sly smirk.

.

"Hey!" Aisha whined. "You made yourself taller!"

"Well, it's not like anyone else sees me in here." Aiyu shrugged. "It's nice being tall."

.

"What's wrong with my body!?" Aisha protested.

"You know exactly what's wrong." Aiyu said dryly.

.

"Mistress likes that I'm short!" The fey girl cried desperately.

"Is that so, huh?"

.

Aisha puffed out her cheeks in anger, her little hands balling up into fists cutely.

"You look just like that damn guy now! And Feng! You're a traitor! My own sister!"

.

"Ah, what do they always say?" Aiyu smirked. "Everything's cyclical?"

.

Aisha paused suddenly, a motion that alerted her shadowy friend.

.

"Oh?" She mused, crossing a long leg over the other. "You've figured it out?"

.

Aiyu looked to Aisha, expecting a triumphant look, or at the very least, happiness, or… something. But instead, the look on her face was… tired.

.

"Yeah."

]

.

.

.

"Hey, have you seen Aisha?" Kayle asked Sui, both of them staring blankly into the distance, bored out of their minds. The chatter of the inn dulled to a hum as their minds buzzed with incomplete thoughts, eyes blurry and unfocused.

"No." Sui mumbled. "Nnn…"

.

Sui couldn't bear to see Vega. Crippled and defeated, she was slumped into a corner, a shadow falling over the old woman's face. She wasn't even drunk.

.

"I can't believe the dragonslayer…" Kayle said quietly, trying to keep his face neutral. But he couldn't help the bit of anguish and disappointment that leaked through his face, bitter. "I…"

.

"Vega-san is the strongest of all of us." Sui whispered. "So now what?"

"Do we…" Kayle said hesitantly. "What happens if we don't do anything?"

.

Sui's eyes flashed rapidly for a few seconds, as the girl clearly took a short while to think. After a while, she finished computing, and the girl was stiff.

"The rogue unit will probably hunt us all down." Sui said quietly. "And kill us. Everyone here. Then everyone in the guild. It is too strong."

.

Kayle just hung his head. "Isn't there anything we can do?"

.

Sui paused for a second, but the lights behind her mask didn't flash at all. Rather, Sui already had the information. But she didn't particularly like the outcome.

"I can offer myself." Sui mumbled. "I will offer to join the rogue unit in exchange for everyone's lives. I don't know if it will accept, but I could probably-"

.

"NO!" Vega shouted suddenly, slamming her fist on a table and splintering it into tiny little shards. The motion startled Sui and Kayle, the two visibly jumping as Vega stormed furiously over to them.

.

"I won't…" Vega choked. "This is all my fault. I let this happen. I'm going to make it right."

.

"But…" Kayle trailed off, clearly uncomfortable stating what they had all witnessed. Vega had been beat by the angel. Easily. But he was afraid to say anything, seeing the desperate fury in Vega's eyes.

.

"Pack your things." Vega demanded. "We're going back to the capital."

"Why?" Sui asked.

.

"I'm going to…" Vega cringed, loathing the words that were to come out of her mouth. "I am going to beg the magistrate. Even the demigod, if I have to. Anything. I'll sell myself into servitude, if I have to… With enough numbers…"

.

"You can't do that!" Sui cried, horrified. "You are the dragonslayer! You're a sister of Gehenna! Where is-"

"My pride isn't worth anything!" Vega choked out. "All that it's gotten me… all that… I have… nothing. I can't even… I can't even call myself the strongest anymore… who am I deluding… I haven't been the strongest in a long time. I'm nothing… This is all I have left. I'm going to protect them. Even if I have to debase myself. This is all I can do anymore."

.

Kayle and Sui just stared, shocked, at the once proud dragonslayer, reduced to nothing but a desperate, pitiful woman, face crusted with wrinkles and dirt. By now, everybody in the inn was looking at her, and judging by the faces of disbelief in the crowd, some knew Vega by title and name.

.

Sui opened her mouth to argue. "Let me-"

"No!" Vega shouted, before dropping her voice to a quieter register. "No. That's enough… where is Aisha. We should… head out soon."

.

Sui and Kayle shared an apprehensive look.

.

.

.

"Friend!" Sui called out into the night, the moon high above the party's heads. "Hello?"

"You just let her wander off on her own?" Vega asked. "Without asking where she was going?"

.

"I didn't know we were going to leave so soon." Sui grumbled. "Besides, I did ask."

.

"Well, where would she likely be?" Vega demanded. "What was she doing before she ran off?"

.

"I don't- Oh, there she is."

.

A small little black blob sat in the middle of a small patch of dead grass, the faint distorted glow of mana circling around her like the light from a mirage. The silhouette was largely indistinguishable, but there was no mistaking the fluffy little ears sitting on top of Aisha's head.

.

"Aisha?" Sui called again, in her direction, to no response.

.

The mechanical girl just sighed, exasperated, and began to trudge towards Aisha in an annoyed fashion, grumbling and stomping her feet as she approached her.

.

She put a hand on the girl's shoulder. "Friend, Aisha, we have-"

.

Suddenly, Sui's eyes went wide, and Aisha whipped her head around her in panic, as a bright glow began to suffuse Aisha's body. Like an explosion, bright beams of light blew out of Aisha's body, cuts opening like cracks as her body began to explode with purple mana.

.

Aisha grimaced as her arm was blown clean off her body, coming apart at the joint and flying across the field, Kayle jumping as it landed at his feet.

.

"Ow." She mumbled.

"What the fuck was that!?" Vega exclaimed, as Aisha groaned in pain, sweating and panting as her body began to regenerate itself, the gashes on her face closing up.

.

"Can you…" Aisha panted. "Pass me my arm?"

.

Kayle looked at the severed limb with a dumbfounded look, but after being prompted by a few more urging gestures from Aisha, he threw the thing back. Aisha held the severed limb up to her shoulder for a few seconds, and after a bit, her arm was as good as new.

.

After a few seconds of rest, Aisha let out a short breath and stood up, frowning as the sleeves of her now tattered coat blew awkwardly behind her. She eventually decided to rip them off entirely, casting them into the wind, but then quickly regretting her decision as the cold bit at her bare arms.

.

"What do you want?" Aisha frowned. "I'm trying stuff."

"That's what you call that!?" Sui exclaimed. "It looked like - your body exploded!"

.

"Yeah, so?" Aisha mumbled.

.

"What were you doing?" Vega asked. "What in the world was that? A new spell?"

"Don't worry about it."

.

"Don't-" Vega stopped herself, taking a deep breath. "Whatever. We're going back to the capital. We're going to get reinforcements."

"From who?" Aisha asked suspiciously.

.

"Anyone." Vega sighed. "Raxas, the demigod, th-"

"NO." Aisha said resolutely, a dangerous look in her eyes. "Absolutely not."

.

"We don't have a choice!" Vega argued. "We have to take whatever we can get!"

.

"No we don't." Aisha disagreed. "What we have now is good enough."

"Are you insane!?" Vega demanded. "You saw how badly it beat us! What do you think is going to happen!?"

.

Aisha just stared at the aging woman with a scrutinizing look, watching the way Vega's chest heaved as she stood in front of her, arm gesturing outwards frantically.

.

"You're afraid." Aisha observed.

.

"I'M NOT AFRAID!" Vega shouted indignantly. "THERE IS NO CHANCE WE BEAT IT! WE LOST! WE-"

.

Aisha just snorted derisively, and Vega's expression wilted as she saw the last vestiges of respect and reverse fall out of Aisha's expression. But instead of despair, anger entered her expression, frustrated and confused at Aisha's seeming lack of common sense.

.

"What do you think we're going to do, huh, smart girl!?" Vega seethed. "Just run right back to that thing!? Again? And lose? Again?"

.

"Yeah." Aisha nodded casually, eyes meandering lazily over Sui and Kayle's shocked expressions. "Except, we kill it this time."

.

"Are you insane!?" Vega fumed. "Did you hit your head!? Why-"

.

"I can evolve faster than it can." Aisha breathed out. "I know it."

"You haven't changed a single bit since I last saw you!" Vega shouted. "You are delusional!"

.

"We're going to Nalbina." Aisha said firmly. "No more compromises. No more planning for failure. We- I'll do it. Alone, if I have to."

.

Aisha turned around, clearly intent on leaving right then and there, but stopped lazily when Vega gripped her forearm, head turning slowly, like she was expecting the taller woman to do so. And when she looked into Vega's eyes, she saw nothing but a manic desperation.

.

"You're going to try to stop me?" Aisha said softly.

"I am GOING to stop you." Vega corrected, hissing out her words. "I don't know what the hell has gotten into you, but I'm not half-assing this shit anymore!"

.

"A few more people isn't going to make the difference." Aisha sighed.

"What, and YOU are!?"

.

Aisha smiled sweetly, tilting her head to the side and closing her eyes. "Yes."

.

Frustrated with Aisha's continual denial of her plans, Vega decided to remind the upstart little brat of why she was a titled, ruby adventurer. Gripping Aisha's forearm tighter, she wrenched her arm upwards, fully intent on slamming the girl into the ground full force, but at the apex of her arc, Aisha twisted her forearm out of Vega's grip. Vega narrowed her eyes as Aisha gracefully flipped out of the hold, landing on the ground with that same, careless expression.

.

Sui clapped her hands, cheering. "Wow, pretty!" Before wilting at Vega's withering face.

.

"I'm not letting it get any stronger." Vega narrowed her eyes. "And I'm not going to lose you!"

"That is exactly why we should go now." Aisha sighed. "Before it gets too strong."

.

"It already is too strong for us!" Vega shouted. "How arrogant can you be!? That after, what, a day of meditation, that you're more powerful than it now? That you're more powerful than ME!?"

.

"I am!" Aisha insisted.

.

"THEN PROVE IT!" Vega roared, magic surging into her being, a brilliant, blinding light that lit up the entire night sky for miles around. The air was filled with an angry crackling as sparks zapped and flew, burning the grass, popping and crackling like miniature lightning bolts, all stemming from Vega's arm.

.

Sui backed away hastily as a spare bolt almost hit her, panic evident in her body language. She looked quickly between Vega and Aisha, the latter preparing a spell of her own, her own dark magic not quite as bright, but looking just as dangerous.

.

"Stop!" Sui protested. "There is still another option! Please don't fight! This is-"

.

Sui's words were drowned out by the piercing. deafening scream of lightning unleashed. The bolt split through the sky like an arrow, heading straight for Aisha's chest, as fast as a bullet. Sui screamed in fear, scared for Aisha's life, but was ultimately powerless to do anything as the spear flew towards her friend's chest.

.

But her voice quickly faltered when Aisha threw her spell. A small ball of twisting, dark mana, it was smaller than Vega's spear, and not as radiant, looking much weaker, although just as fast. Sui waited for the little baseball sized lump of energy to be blown away, but when it made contact with the larger spell, the opposite occurred.

.

Vega's spear dissipated harmlessly in the open air, and Aisha's little ball of energy flew dangerously close to Vega's head, cutting straight through her mana barrier with a clean, perfectly circular hole.

.

Vega just stood silent, eyes wide as her hair flitted in the breeze left by Aisha's spell, shocked.

.

"But…" She whispered. "How..?"

"That was chaos magic." Sui whispered. "But… we… the prerequisites…"

.

"You too, huh." Vega mumbled. "You've also… left me behind."

.

"Shall we be on our way?" Aisha suggested.

.

.

.

[

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Sen's Journal

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.

Each human being in this world has a unique signature to their mana. It's like DNA - no two humans have the same signature, just like how no two people have the same DNA. Well, except for twins, maybe. But I've yet to see a set of twins here, so, well, who knows.

.

When a being is born, through natural birth, or other… uh, stranger, methods, the first thing that is formed is the 'soul.' Notes on that are on page 386. I'm not really a biologist, so -

.

I'm getting off track. At any rate, the rest of the body is formed around the soul - tuned to its specific 'spin,' or signature. This means that the body isn't damaged by the 'mana' that is produced and circulated by the 'soul.' All other wavelengths and signatures are harmful.

.

Ordinarily, taking in the mana from the air should be akin to setting yourself on fire. Not only is the mana in the air volatile and high energy, it is also mixed with actual hadron radiation. However, it seems that the humans' 'soul' can actually convert this mana into a usable signature through a process I'll call the 'conscienia cycle.'

.

We don't know exactly how it works. Yet. But if we can replicate this process, it might be a step towards a breakthrough.

.

Towards going home.

.

-----------------------------

Practical Applications

-----------------------------

.

As the soul is just like a muscle, the capacity can be trained in a similar way. Constant depletion, a healthy body, and sufficient rest will slowly grow the magic capacity of the soul. Note that this does only affect capacity. The rate at which 'mana' is dumped out of the body remains a factor of the conscienules.

.

Feng has proposed a theory. She posits that you can use 'magic' to force more natural magic into your 'soul,' and essentially overload the organ into accelerated growth. But this is unfeasible… at least for a human. You would die from internal bleeding very fast, although it's interesting to think about how such a technique would work. Theoretically, it could accelerate growth… almost by an order of magnitude.

.

But at any rate, progress is still mostly a factor of physical wellness. It's fascinating to see how the two feed into each other - as we improve our conscitious strength, so do our bodies, with further accelerates the growth of mana… Already, I can lift five times what I used to be able to. I'm having trouble finding weights, haha.

.

The issue is finding suitable stimulus for conscitious exertion. The 'soul' seems to have a natural limit placed on itself to prevent overexertion. However, that overexertion is exactly what is needed to truly stimulate growth. Breaking through this limit seems to be possible, but it seems that this can only be achieved with immense amounts of mental strain.

.

.

[Aisha turned the page, frowning at the lack of formatting. The handwriting was messier. Looser. The entire passage was only about half a page, and the page immediately after, the right-hand page, was completely blank.]

---

---

.

Today, I found a new mushroom. Feng told me to not eat it, but, well, I did. I threw up almost instantly. But it was worth it.

.

It's… been so long since I've seen her smile. Since I've seen her laugh… It was almost for a moment, but I think in that moment… I made her a little happy.

.

Why does it have to be like this? Why couldn't she be happy with…

.

Mom… what would you have told me to do? I want to make her happy, but… I miss you. I miss Alice. I wish I could have been a better son. I wish…

.

What do you think wishes are? Hopes? Dreams? Feng told me… that wishes are just fantasies.

.

But I disagree with her. I think wishes are promises. To the world. That people will continue to try.

.

Goodbye, mom.

.

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End of Journal Entry

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]

.

.

.

"So…" Sui asked nervously. "How did you get so powerful, so fast? Why did you… explode?"

.

"I pushed myself to the limit." Aisha said, taking a quick glance at Vega and Kayle, following from a distance behind her. "All limits."

.

"What do you mean?" Sui asked.

.

"Mental, physical, and magical." Aisha mumbled, counting them off on her fingers, pushing them each down with her other hand. "It's… hard to explain. But I emptied myself of mana countless times… forced myself to regenerate better every time. Then I forcefully filled myself back up with a reserve."

"A reserve?" Sui asked. "Of what?"

.

"..."

"You took natural mana into yourself." Sui said, her expression widening. "That's… that's not even chaos magic. That is… that is suicide! You are burning yourself from the inside out!"

.

"It worked." Aisha said seriously. "The drake's soul ended up quite useful."

"That's…" Sui shook her head. "What if it hadn't been enough? What if you had killed yourself."

.

"Whatever happens happens." Aisha mumbled. "But I knew it would work. I wouldn't… I wouldn't risk my life like that. Not anymore. That is a fool's solution."

.

"I…" Sui hesitated. "I guess. But that still doesn't explain why you exploded!"

"Ah." Aisha scratched her chin nervously. "That was the… second part of my training."

.

"Huh?"

"I was compressing all the mana in my body." Aisha said sheepishly. "With rapid rotation. When you disturbed my concentration…"

.

"You introduced two unknowns at once!?" Sui cried incredulously. "Are you insane!?"

"Hey, the worst that could happen is I lose an arm… or something." Aisha mumbled.

.

"That is incredibly dangerous! You could have- you could have lost your HEAD! Then what!?" Sui cried, before her natural curiosity took over, overshadowing her indignant concern. "But… also… rotation? Is that why… your spell beat Vega-san's?"

"Yeah."

.

"That is incredible." Sui said, awe in her voice. "How does it feel?"

Aisha cracked a small, lonely smile.

"It feels... Unsatisfying." She said softly. "I don't know."

"Unsatisfying?" Sui said incredulously. "You are venturing into a realm of magic that is unheard of!"

.

"I don't know." Aisha repeated, holding her shoulders up in a frank gesture. "Just feels like... After all this time... I still feel... empty."

.

Sui just shook her head. "You really are an interesting specimen."

Do you guys want to see more of Sen's journal entries? I know that it's essentially a big exposition dump, and that it's not really that important to understanding, but I liked writing it.

I dunno, would you guys like more insights into how the world works? Or would you rather have more cute scenes of Aisha and Lorian?

Leave you thoughts in the comments PLEASEEEE

Lithkrencreators' thoughts