Chapter 20

"You made us late." I tell Jackson as we get into the elevator.

"Did not?" He shakes his head.

"Yes you did. It was your idea to have sex before we had to leave for work." I reply.

"Don't act like you didn't enjoy it." He smirks kissing me causing me to giggle.

"Well I did enjoy it very much." I say giving him another kiss as the elevator opens up and we walk towards the nurses station where everyone is gathered looking at something on television.

"What's going on?" I ask Chief Webber.

That's when I hear the reporter say there's been a mass shooting at a local college near by making me and Jackson both tense up thinking about what had just happened at Seattle Grace six months ago. Mark was trying to console Lexie who was uncontrollably crying.

We all go get dressed in trauma gowns to prepare for the incoming victims. We we make it outside where Lexie and April are still crying as we wait for the ambulances to arrive.

"There are 15 ambulances coming. There may be more on way. The first one is three minutes out." Owen says.

"People , people." Chief says getting our attention. "Our own trauma is fresh and we are going to have feelings today. There's no shame in that. What I want to say is what we went through six months ago, they are going through now. Which makes them our brothers and sisters, which makes them fellow travelers, which makes them our own. So to the very best of our ability we are going to do our work first and you are going to have your feelings later." We nod our heads in agreement.

Lexie is still crying, so Mark sends her to the pit to call the blood bank. As the ambulances arrive Derek and I rush to a patient who fell out of a fourth story window trying to help others escape and is suffering from a brain hemorrhage.

"Are you okay?" I ask Derek who's obviously stressed.

"Nothing about this is okay." He shakes his head.

We rush to get the patient prepped for surgery then rush him to the OR. We get scrubbed in and start the surgery.

"You see that bridging vain." Derek asks as I suction around the bleeding.

"You'll have to compromise it if you're going to pull that skull flap back." I say. He nods his head in agreement.

"I'll be right back I'm about to go update the wife again." I say looking at the clock.

"Dr. Garcia you're a surgeon, not a social worker." He sighs in frustration. I've been stepping out to update the patient's wife frequently since the surgery began.

"You can't spare me for a couple of minutes?"

"We have a patient laying on the table."

"That's not all that there is to this story Dr. Shepherd." I sigh.

"Don't start this again." He says.

"The other part of the story is there's a wife sitting in that waiting room worried sick about her husband. You're only seeing this one side." I frown.

"Fine, just go." He yells.

"I'll be quick." I say leaving the OR.

I quickly notify the wife of what is going on then I return to surgery. I start back assisting as the patients monitor begins to go off.

"Son of a bitch." Derek mumbles.

"ICP still 45." I say watching the monitor.

"His brain is still swelling. We're going to have to take out the other side." Derek says.

"You want to take out both sides of his skull?"

"I'm going to leave this strip here that covers up the superior sagittal sinus." Derek says.

"Well I'm going to go update his wife." I say.

"Since when are you more interested in updating the wife then actually operating." Derek says obviously frustrated.

"Since we all went through a trauma and know how it feels to not know if our loved ones are dead or alive. Do you think you and Cristina are the only two who have suffered a trauma in your life?" I ask. Him and Cristina have been hanging out more and more since the shooting, irritating both Mer and I because it's like instead of Derek being my person and Cristina bring Mers person they were now each others person. I mean professionally Derek hadn't shut me out, but personally all of his time was being focused on Cristina.

"Don't bring Cristina into this. You don't get to act like a spoiled little brat in my OR." He says.

"No Derek. Why is it okay for Cristina to do whatever she wants, but it's not okay for me. Because I'm not hiding under OR tables or bartending?" I ask.

"Liliana." Derek says interrupting me.

"No, you don't get to interrupt me. Honestly you and Cristina are so busy supporting each other, but did you ever stop and think other people went through trauma too. I was shot too Derek, and I watched Jackson sit there day and night to try to make sure I was okay even though he was going through his own personal hell and Meredith did the same for you so how about instead of being selfish we think about that lady out there trying to be strong even though she might lose her husband, even though her whole world is crashing down on her. Now excuse me I am going to update the wife." I say sternly before walking out of the OR.

I go to update the patients wife and while I'm on my way to the OR I notice people out side of the hospital singing, making me run back to the waiting room and get the families to follow me and see the the people gathered with candles raised.

As soon as they see the people outside, many family and friends start crying. To people looking in from the outside they might think why does the simple act of singing or a prayer comfort those suffering through loss and uncertainty. As someone who lived through the same heartache these people are experiencing I understand that just this simple act gives you a sense of hope a sense of support to know you aren't alone, and during times like this that is everything. I continue standing with the family and friends for a little while before returning to the OR.

"How is he?" I ask Derek walking back over to the patient.

"He's decompressed. but he has a bad contusion" Derek says, just as he says that the patient gets a rapid brain bleed.

"Damn it, he's bleeding to much hand me the vascular clips." Derek says, I hand him the vascular clips and resume helping him operate. We successfully finish the operation. The patient is placed in a medically induced coma, but he's alive and that's what matters. Derek follows me to go find the patients wife

"Mrs. Sturgeon, I'm Dr. Shepherd. We placed your husband into an induced coma. He'll have to stay that way until his brain heals. Hopefully in a couple of weeks we'll be able to replace the skull and wake him up." Derek says.

"Wait you're saying he's alive?" The wife asks.

"We have a long road ahead of us, but yes he is alive." Derek says causing the wife to hug him out of thankfulness.

"I can take you to see him if you would like." I smile.

"Okay thank you, thank you both so much." She says smiling in tears at Derek and I before following me to her husbands room.