End Of Something Pretty

I try my best to make a smile , my real smile was wiped away by miss Veronica . I go to open the door and Razor stands behind me like he's scared or something, he should be ,cause I'm about to use the spatula on his cheating ass. I open the door and the three of them are standing with smiles . My mom looking pretty as usual with her hair in a messy bun and in a black low cut dress and even a slit . Oh mama.

Mama Julia on the other hand was perfect , everything about her always was.

The way she dressed , the way she stood with her back straight and shoulders high and even the way she walked . Carefully like her feet were fragile and her face slightly lifted to the sky and her husband Joey Yung , i forget he's Korean because he barely speaks with the accent .

I led everyone straight to the dining table and began serving food , i refused everyone's attempt to help , I felt like I would cry if someone said anything to me.

I finished serving and sat down and then Julia asked "How are you baby"?. I felt the tears threatening to pour out and I tried to stop it but I couldn't , it felt like my body was betraying me and the tears fell drop by drop until it felt like it was flooding out of me .

My throat tightened and my body stiffened and soon everyone was beside me , everyone except Razor , he just sat there looking at me , looking confused like he didn't know what to do or say and that made me hurt more .

After five minutes I was finally calm and everyone went back to their seats . They started eating and kept glancing at me like they weren't sure I was okay yet and so I tried to give them little smiles and thankyou's when my food got complimented.

Then unexpectedly my mom asked "What do you want Laun". And immediately Razor looked at me like he knew what I wanted and I could see the fear in his eyes or was i just seeing things because I wanted it to be that way , I wanted him to be sorry , to apologize , to be sincere, who knows maybe I would take him back but I hated to think that I would take back a cheater who had been unapologetic about his actions for a month and even letting the girl he's been doing things with come meet him here in the very apartment we share .

I knew what I wanted but it scared me too , why did it have to be this way , was it college? .Was there something wrong with us that I didn't notice earlier?, was it Stephanie?or was it solely him and am I trying to justify his actions cause it would make it better if it wasnt actually all his fault . But I had to do this for me , for my happiness.

I looked up and everyone was staring at me "I want to end things with Razor , I want us to be done". I said and tears fell from both My eyes and Razor's at the same time . He opened his mouth like he had something to say but nothing came out "i-i-i" that's all he said , he just sat there and stupidly stuttered and then he looked down and nodded .

Joey asked "Razor you've got something to say?". And it was silent for like a minute until he finally said "Fine".

Fine . That's all he had to say , and that word kept repeating itself in my head over and over and over again.