Year 6 Chapter 11

I looked at my morning post owl with something similar to wonder. My morning post rarely contained anything interesting, but seeing how there was a Gringotts letter, I had little choice but to open it up and wonder what the goblins wanted with me.

Well, the Weasley twins had sent in their quarterly reports, a chunk of the earnings as well as a part of the money I had lent them so that they could buy their shares from themselves. It was amusing. I had told them to cut the pie in one hundred pieces, and set each piece with a worth of ten galleons. Then, I had bought thirty-three pieces for three hundred and thirty galleons, and loaned them six hundred and seventy galleons so that they could buy their own corners. I could have loaned them a thousand galleons, but that wouldn't have given me back as much as this would for a while.

The interest rate was a flat ten percent, because I wasn't that much of a thief. At the same time, I had the right to one third of their earnings, and no obligation to actually aid the society survive a market crash since I was an investor, and not an actual business partner. Sure, if the society failed then I'd stop earning gold, but I doubted that would be the case.

I was, after all, making a very interesting partnership with a certain individual.

"Mister Filch," I said with a smile at a later hour, "Look what I've got for you."

The old man had improved, if not noticeably, at the very least enough to make a stark difference. He even had the hint of a smile, which soon disappeared at the sight of the small cerulean globe in my hand. "What is that, Mister Umbrus?" he asked, "A forbidden item? Another?" he furrowed his brows, "It's not one I know of."

I shook my head. "Mister Filch, haven't you ever thought how beautiful the school life would be if pranks cleaned themselves? You'd be able to enjoy a more relaxing workplace, wouldn't you?"

Mister Filch's eyes looked at the cerulean orb, and then at me. "And that's an answer to my problems? Some kind of detergent?"

"No, Mister Filch. This is a prank item," I pointed a finger at a nearby wall, and threw the sphere. It popped, and a large amount of bright blue mucus spread evenly over the surface. "But it's one that disappears harmlessly after one minute," I continued, smiling brightly. The mucus was, indeed, already starting to diminish both in size and shape, evaporating under the effect of the air until nothing remained. "And it also cleans the floor."

Mister Filch's expression told me he didn't understand what I was proposing. Thus, I had to make it slightly clearer. "If certain items were allowed passage at Hogwarts because they are prank-safe," I said gingerly, "It would make everyone very happy, wouldn't you agree?"

Some might have called what I was doing 'unlawful' or perhaps 'unfair'. I called it business management and ensuring a market's needs.

Why have fanged frisbee, when you could have fanged circlets that playfully bit, but also released dittany extract to seal the wounds? Why use whizzing worms, when you could have sparkling worms, which did the same but also vanished after a couple of minutes?

Also, friendly rival Zonko, why have you forsaken basic firefighting techniques and not installed any fire alarms in your shop or warehouse? Do you not know of the inherent dangers of open flames near seemingly explosive prank items?

Well, no. That hadn't happened yet. As long as they played by the rules, then nothing bad would happen to the rival partners. If they suddenly decided a bit of business espionage was in order, then I would answer with a bit of business 'Je-Ne-Sais-Quois' which always made things go smoother.

Until that happened, though, I'd enjoy the new and openly amusing abilities of trying to transfigure myself under the attentive and watchful gaze of Professor McGonagall. Looking at myself in the mirror of the classroom, it was clear that my eyebrows would not be turning blond anytime soon, though my hair was indeed capable of shrinking and growing at command.

Interesting usage of spells aside, it was a strange sensation to know that Dumbledore would be acting to remove another Horcrux sometime soon, and I'd have no part to play in it. It was liberating, and worrying in equal parts.

"The problem is that I can't try a counter without practicing the real spell, and I lack the necessary ability to cast the real one," I grumbled to myself, pacing frantically in front of the Hogwarts' lake. "I'll go mad if I can't get a resolution to this, you know?" my lips twitched at the sight of a fish floating out of the lake, swimming within a bubble of water that followed its intended direction. "Guess there's no one who'd actually be able to help me on this."

The Abra Cadabra spell made something funny happen. That was the entire purpose of the spell. It made the one throwing the spell happier, and did something quirky and funny to elicit a laugh. Once someone clapped their hands, the laughing high would diminish. Hocus Pocus did...pretty much nothing. I hadn't found a single thing that seemed to change whenever I used it. It just...did nothing.

"Perhaps it's a combination word?" I muttered. Alakazam, on the other hand...well, Alakazam too did nothing.

Maybe if I used them together?

"Shade, is that a floating fish in a bubble?" Megan asked as soon as she arrived, watching with fascination as a few more fishes floated out of the lake.

"Well, see," I answered nonchalantly, "I'm currently practicing some spells and-"

The sun blotted out. Darkness fell. My eyes widened like saucers as I witnessed a massive sphere of water rise from the depths of the lake, holding within an equally puzzled and shocked Giant Squid, who wailed in surprise at having been lifted and made to float high in the air.

I coughed, and swiftly cried out in the bubble's direction, "Finite Incantatem!"

The bubble popped, and the giant squid fell down with a thundering splash and another surprised wail. Needless to say, both Megan and I ended up soaked to the bone in the cold, chilly waters of mid-November.

"I-I wanted to invite you to one of Slughorn's dinner parties," Megan said, gritting her teeth. "My anger is what is keeping me warm right now," she added.

"Of...of course?" I said, pointing my wand at her, and then at me. Dried as we soon were, Megan's mood improved.

"Also, there's a match between Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff first thing tomorrow, and Amanda wanted you to come," Megan continued. "She asked me to tell you in case she didn't find you before me. Can you make time in your extremely busy schedule to meet with her, or should I notify her that you have prior arrangements with the statues and maybe the Granger Danger?"

I blinked. "The Granger Danger? What-no, no, I don't want to know," I said. "I don't have prior arrangements, I've also been avoiding her since otherwise she'd hound me for more books. Changed the disposition of the walls. All new way in, all new tricks and traps," I grinned.

"And I've yet to see it," Megan continued, her voice light, her eyes hard. "Should I book an appointment for a visit or try my hand at finding a way in?"

I sighed, shook my head, and then patted the stone on which I usually sat. It slid to the side gently, without making a noise.

A set of stairs led down into a long hallway, which connected to the Hall of Shadows.

"Do you have some free time right now?" I asked, amiably holstering my wand.

"I don't know," Megan answered, making a show of thinking about it. "My mother always told me not to follow strangers in dark unlit paths."

I snapped my fingers, and the stairway shone with a soft light.

"Want a pamphlet guide too?" I quipped, "I'm sure I can make something if you give me five minutes and a blank parchment."

She rolled her eyes, and then walked down the stairs herself. Squiddie raised a tentacle, as if querying what to do with the fishes that were still floating out of the lake in water bubbles. "Well Squiddie," I shrugged helplessly, "Play fetch?"

From the happy wailing the giant squid gave back, I was sure I had made its day.

Probably a bad day to leave clothes out to dry due to sudden downpours of Squid-Tentacles, but one couldn't have everything in one's life.

As the rock silently slid into position over our heads, I took the lead through the hallway. "It's nothing grand," I said. "Don't expect much."

I didn't understand the fascination with my man caves anyway. Anyone could make one. They just needed some spells, a good grasp of transfiguration, and a good read of some very interesting books that literally weighed, and were made of, bricks.

Still, as long as they came to visit after asking permission, it wasn't that evil of a thing.

Megan was thoughtful enough to ask, rather than to barge in.

I needed to mentally jot down I had been invited to one of Slughorn's dinner parties, and that Amanda's Quidditch match was tomorrow.

I would be losing years of my life every time a bludger moved near Amanda's head, and my heart would probably explode, but it was a sacrifice I was willing to make for my friends.

They tolerated me, and thus I had no choice but to return the favor.

Truly, it was good to live without worries.

"Hakuna Matata," I muttered, rubbing my chin. My eyes were probably gleaming. I needed to try that out too.

Shadowdrake, stop trying to meld with the walls.

We have visitors, act dignified like I know you can!