Year 5 Chapter 13

I smiled as I looked at the Headmaster. The Headmaster didn't seem to like my smile, this time around, but there was little he could do about it. "Mister Umbrus," he said in the end, "Do you really believe this is the best course of action?"

"I think that something needs to be done. I cannot study, work, and concentrate properly when I also have to calm down children too scared to head to their Potions or Defense Against the Dark Arts classes," I replied. "Since I believe that the best way to deal with this is by using something they both have in common, then I would suggest throwing Harry Potter in the middle of the Forbidden Forest and have them both head to his rescue. It's a tried and true method in many a muggle film."

I kept my smile up. I intended on dropping Harry off near the Acromantula's colony. That this would also mean the destruction of that colony was a secondary thing. Hagrid might be sad, but Aragog was bound to die by next year, and so I would just hasten the creature's demise.

Sure, there was the tiny, insignificant problem of Harry Potter's survival in the meantime, but if I could manage surviving in there, then so could he. Unfortunately the Headmaster didn't share my wisdom.

"I think we could try with something less riskier, perhaps a good cup of hot tea and some sherbet lemons?" the Headmaster said instead.

"I still think a trip in the Forbidden Forest would do them all some good," I replied. "Maybe put them on a plane, have the plane crash somewhere lost and forgotten, and then get them to walk back to Hogwarts and discover the things they have in common with one another?"

The Headmaster chuckled at my words, and shook his head. "Apparition would solve that quite quickly."

"Then we leave Harry Potter wounded grievously, and his death can only be avoided by recovering a very precious herb somewhere in the bottom of an Anti-Apparition doom fortress of an evil wizard, which requires the skill set of the two wizards in questions?" I replied. I then blinked, and rubbed my chin. "Uhm..." My eyes began to twinkle. "Headmaster," I said amusingly, "Would it be all right if I coincidentally wrote some quite interesting piece of fiction involving two utterly fictional entities heading into a very dangerous mission?"

"I cannot stop the imagination of a student from running rampart," the Headmaster acquiesced, "I would suggest the usage of a pen name," he continued, an equally amused twinkle in his eyes, "And one that may not be so easily connected to you, though I suspect the number of suspects will drastically reduce themselves with the passing of time."

The Christmas day came and went, my own Christmas spent surprisingly at the Hog's Head in full Christmas cheer, together with not just the Dumbledore family, but also most of the Hogsmeade's villagers that didn't really have a family to go back home to for Christmas. It was a jovial, relaxed atmosphere. It was fun to see the family bonds between Albus and his brother knit back a piece at the time, but even so my eyes were growing more tired by the day.

Yet, I would soldier on.

As the month of January rolled by, the students were surprised in finding within their common rooms the first edition of an episodic tale.

Yrrah Rettop and the Professors of Doom, by Holyday Merrysky

Yrrah Rettop has been poisoned by an incredibly deadly disease, and her only cure lies in two unlikely allies, Professors Suiris Kcalb and Sureves Epans coming together to recover the cure from the Fortress of Doom, an ancient and forgotten fortress where evil lurks behind every corner. Can the two Professors put aside their differences and work together to save Yrrah? Will they finally bury the ax of war? All mentions to real existing witches and wizards are purely casual. This is a non-profit Hogwarts Magazine.

Laughter echoed through the halls of Hogwarts throughout the day, much to Harry Potter's chagrin. I remained stone-faced, and quiet. "Has to be a girl writing it," I remarked offhandedly. "Holyday Merrysky sounds like such a positive bubblegum-haired girl it can't be anyone else," I glanced at the crimson faced Harry Potter, and the snickering Ron Weasley as well as the giggling Hermione. "Trust me that if I had to make the two professors calm down, I'd invite them for a tea and sherbet lemon party, and then curse the tea to contain a high concentration of Draught of Peace, or whatever may be needed to get them to calm down."

Hermione flipped through the pages of the small pamphlet holding on to the first chapter, "It's got to be a Half-Blood or a Muggleborn student," she continued. "There's too much information about the Muggle world for it to be done by someone else."

"I want whoever wrote this to stop," Harry said, half-choking on his own tongue. "And once I do find who did this, I'll be cursing them personally for it."

"C-Come on, H-Harry," Ron snickered as he turned another page, "The story's not that bad. You just appear in the first-snrrk-chapter," he couldn't hold it, and howled out in laughter, bending in two. "I-I can't! It's just...Yrrah!"

"Thank you, Ron, really," Harry blithely grumbled. "I just don't get why someone would write something like this. It doesn't make sense."

"Don't look at me," I said with a shrug. "I'm already busy as hell doing everything around this school. The last thing I need is more work on my shoulders."

Professor Black and Snape were, in a single word to encompass them, utterly willing to commit murder and head to Azkaban if they couldn't find the guilty party. "Whichever of you babbling buffoons felt the need to do such a thing," Professor Snape would hiss, "Will be incredibly happy to know that due to that, I have taken the liberty of enhancing the curriculum for this year with an extra series of homework."

"Now listen up!" Sirius Black would instead say, "I don't know who did it, and I don't know why they thought it would be funny, but pranks need to make someone laugh and this doesn't make anyone laugh! So I want this to stop!" he looked at the classroom, where I remained innocently ignorant of it all.

I actually didn't have time for any of this. I was seriously wondering if this was what being slowly choked out of life felt like. I had to do 'Detention', study, do the extra homework, study some more, follow my own classes, ensure the Hogwarts Radio functioned, write more, practice more, enhance the Gargoyles and to top it all off, my Prefect Duties and my Student Counseling had taken away even what little free time I still had.

Thus, when I dimly realized I had half a day free, with nothing planned, nothing to be written, nothing to be done, I collapsed somewhere cool and fresh and enjoyed my much needed nap time.

I awoke with a startled gasp.

My fingers touched the softness of a bed beneath me, and I exhaled in relief as I realized I had been carried back into the Ravenclaw dormitory. It was late, my wand was still in my pocket, and whoever had dragged me had also left me clothed.

Well, it didn't really matter.

I closed my eyes, and exhaled as I resumed my sleep.

Arching Year-long Plot-Lines wouldn't be the death of me.

Day-by-day stress piling up would, instead, be a far more deadly enemy.