Puny or well hung

By the time Leo came down the stairs, Emma was nowhere around the living room. He went to look for her and found her eating cereal by the kitchen counter

"I was hungry, she innocently said, showing him the bowl of cereal she had in her hand, making it sound as if he just caught her doing something bad.

"Yeah, so?... The place is yours now, plus we're getting married. You don't have to look guilty like you're doing something bad and you also don't need my permission to do whatever you like." Leo said he opened the fridge and brought out an already prepared salad in a plastic container with its lid on, plus a tiny cup of salad cream, before opening a drawer to get a fork

"Thought you said you don't live here?" Emma asked looking at the salad he had in his hand.

"I don't. I have a lady who comes in twice a week to make sure everywhere is clean and food are fresh in case I decided to come around"

"Your girlfriend you mean?" Emma couldn't help but ask with a tinge of jealousy in her voice"

"I'm sure you heard when I said she comes in twice a week to clean and make sure I have fresh food. Now I don't know the kind of men you've dated in the past but I don't ask my woman to clean around the house for me."

"There's actually nothing wrong with a woman occasionally cleaning and cooking her food. My grandma made me do it some time while the maid takes a break"

"Yeah, nothing wrong with it. Next topic please." He replied sarcastically

"Jeez!... And they said I was rude..."

"I wasn't rude, I just don't want to argue about it any more than necessary."

"You were flippant and that was rude"

"No, it wasn't... I'm like this all the time"

"Well don't be like that with me, I don't like it"

"Yeah, yeah, now can we drop it!"

"I just told you, you cannot be like that with me!"

"Jeez woman, would you please let it go already!" He said in exasperation

"What an asshole!" Emma said, put the cereal bowl she just washed back on the plate rack before walking out of the kitchen

"Asshole!?..." Leo repeated to himself with surprise, wondering what he did to warrant such insult from her. He watched her walk out of the kitchen. No woman has ever spoken to him like that before. 'Fola wouldn't dare argue with him not to talk of calling him names.

"He finished eating his salad just as she came back inside the kitchen, opened the fridge, and poured herself a glass of fruit juice. They ignored each other, Leo put the used plastic container in the waste bin and dropped his dirty fork inside the sink. He was about to walk out of the kitchen when her voice stopped him in his track

"It's just a fork, why couldn't he just wash it... How difficult is washing just one fork!?" Emma said to herself like Leo wasn't in the kitchen with her. She put her glass of juice on the kitchen counter, picked the fork he dropped, and immediately washed and rinsed it.

"You don't have to do that. I told you I have..."

"I know what you told me Leo, but it's just one fork. See..." She showed him the clean fork. "It didn't even take me five seconds to wash, why leave that for the help?"

Leo looked at her, lost for words. He has never done any domestic work before in his life. It's always his sisters or the maids who do such work around the house. As she said, it was just a fork that wouldn't take five seconds to wash. He could have just washed it instead of leaving it for the help.

"Thank you..."

"Yeah...." She replied before walking out of the kitchen ahead of him.

"So how did we get here?" Leo asked, walking behind her out of the kitchen.

"I don't understand your question. How did we get here?..." She asked as they both sat opposite each other

"How did we go from just wanting to fuck each other three days ago to about to get married in two weeks?"

'How did we go from just wanting to fuck each other!?' Emma asked the same question in her mind and bury her head in embarrassment. 'How could he be so crude about it!? Did he even think or consider if his words would hurt my feelings before he opened his mouth at all?'

"You know I find that statement of yours annoying."

Leo sighed in exasperation. "Well, I'm not surprised. You find everything I say annoying." He replied nonchalantly

Emma was appalled by not only his words but also the attitude with which he replied her

"You said 'just wanting to fuck!' You can't talk to me like that... Like I'm some kind of a loose girl!"

"Well, I'm sorry if I didn't phrase my words to your satisfaction... But that was what we were going to the hotel to do... To fuck! Leo declared to Emma's dismay. Her facial expression clearly showed how shocked she was

Leo sighed deeply

"Okay, how else do you want me to say the word?... Sex?" He asked with a frown on his face, wondering how else he was expected to talk about the obvious

"I'm sorry if you don't like it but it is what it is... That doesn't mean I think you're a loose girl or anything of such."

"That was exactly what you think!...

"Yes! That WAS what I think, but right now we aren't talking about the past or are we?... cos you're mixing the two together." He said, trying to make her see reason but Emma continued like he didn't say anything, saying what was on her mind while he continued to interrupt her... And so they squabble on and on... Forgetting they came to talk about the issues that brought them together

Emma was now livid and shouting as he continually annoy her with his words and attitude...

"You left me some hundred dollar bills like I'm some kind of cheap whore!..."

"Well, I found you at a bar alone, and with the way you acted, I just assumed...

"You just assumed I was a prostitute and yet you slept with me without a condom... Who does that!? What kind of a man goes around, sleeping with prostitutes without a condom, living them with birth control pills instead!?..."

"I did not go around sleeping with prostitutes so please watch your mouth! Between, did you take the pills?" He asked forcefully, raising his voice above hers.

"No, I didn't take any of your stupid pills..."

"You didn't take any of the stupid pills uhn!?... Were you hoping to get pregnant then?"

"Excuse me! Are you saying I planned this?"

"Well, nothing could be further from the truth when you just happened to show up at a private lounge my friends and I paid for..."

"And out of all the men inside that lounge that I supposedly hoped to get pregnant by and trapped into marriage, how did I have the misfortune of being stuck with you, the one with the puny dick!?"

Everywhere was silent after what she said. Leo was lost for words because he had no clapback for the bombshell she dropped

"What!?..." Leo said with shock apparent on his face after some seconds has passed between them. 'What the fuck! Did I hear her right?' He wondered to himself with his mouth half-opened

"Yeah are you surprised!?... I was a virgin and yet I couldn't feel it inside me... I didn't even know when the whole thing began and ended"

"Are you crazy!?... No, what a stupid question. You're certainly crazy!"

"Thank God you know I am crazy... This is now my house, right? Unless your words are as small as your dick then I suggest you get out of my house right now before I call the police on you... Dick head!"

Emma shouted finally and ran up the stairs, into a random room before slamming the door hard behind her.

"Wao!..." Leo looked at her retreating back in wonder before bursting into laughter...

"Holy fuck! I got myself a spitfire dragon..." He said and laughed again... Puny dick my ass! Guess I'm going to have to jog her memory and remind her how well-hung I am." Leo said and went up the stairs after her