I Want To

Kassian and I join the rest of the nobles for lunch in the great hall. We need to be a strong and united front for all the courtiers to see. He is undaunted by the attack on his life. He is as strong as ever. And everyone is here to witness it. Save Vasco, Zervas, and harris, of course.

I lean forward in my seat. "Risana, where is Kaelan? Why isn't he joining us?"

She turns her head to stare at the man leaning against the wall with the other servants. She pivots back around, a forlorn look on her face. "He wouldn't come. Said it would put too much pressure and attention on me. Can you believe it? He's worried about me!"

Kassian looks up from his meal. "You're pursuing your manservant? Romantically?"

Risana meets his gaze without shame. "I am." She raises a bite of food to her mouth.

Kassian nods. "Would it help if I made him a lord? Gave him some land and a title?"

She chokes.

"I think it would," I say, my smile identical to Kassian's.

Risana takes a deep drink from her cup. "Your Majesty, I could never ask such a thing!"

"If it would make Loralie happy, then it's already done." Kallias switches his fork to his left hand. His right goes under the table. To my leg.

I try to keep my face neutral at the sudden weight.

"Oh, sire, thank you! But I have plenty of land for the two of us. He doesn't need it. But a title! We would be honored to accept that."

"Then I will make it all official and have my man draw up all the particulars. We'll gift it to him in public to help do away with the suspicion about you two."

Risana leaves the table abruptly and runs over to Kaelan. She takes him by the hand before leading him from the room.

Meanwhile, Kassian's hand slides to the inside of my thigh. I don't know how he manages it while also bringing food to his lips. I nearly drop my spoon when his thumb rubs over an especially sensitive spot. I'm so glad I opted for a dress with thin skirts today.

Even though it makes it impossible to focus on a single word Hanisa is saying. Something about inviting me to visit with her at Lord Paulos's estate. Or maybe—

Kallias's hand slides higher.

Oh, that wicked man.

"Forgive me," I say, standing from the table, "but I'm not feeling so well. I think I'll retire to my rooms."

I practically run from the table, hoping to hide the heat in my cheeks and my quickened breath. I don't spare Kassian a glance.

***

After reaching my rooms, I dismiss all the servants who had begun moving my things over to Kallias's rooms. They appear to have made it through my vanity and washroom but stopped just shy of the wardrobe.

Perhaps I should consider a cool bath.

There's a knock, followed by the door opening. Kassian, of course.

"You're unwell? Why didn't you say—"

I throw myself at him, layering hot, openmouthed kisses on him. Though startled at first, he soon returns them in kind. Lavender-mint fills my senses, and his mouth has the light taste of wine. I lean him against the nearest wall, fusing our bodies together, let my hands slide the jacket off his shoulders.

"I'm just fine," I say as I pull back slightly to deal with a button that's impeding my progress. "You, however, are in trouble."

"For what?" he asks innocently. Oh fucking shit, that's hot.

"Distracting me to the point of not being able to eat my meal."

He spins us around, spins me around, so my front is pressed against the wall, my head turned to the side to look at him.

"That doesn't seem right," he says. "All I did was…"

And then he's bending down, pulling up my skirts so he can trace the same path he did under the table, only this time on my bare skin. Meanwhile, his lips are exploring the back of my neck, and I'm trapped, helpless to do anything but feel him as his fingers explore higher and higher.

When I can't take it any longer, I push off from the wall, spin to face him. His lips find mine, and his fingers are in my hair, pulling out the pins I used to hold it up this morning. I place my hands at my back, trying to reach the laces holding my dress together. I need it off. Now. There is too much between his body and mine.

Once he realizes what I'm doing, he says, "No." He steps backward. "No," he repeats.

And I think I might scream if he tries to stop this, if he—

"Let me," he adds.

In mere seconds my dress is gone, and I'm before him in my chemise. He looks me over slowly, at the skin he can view beneath the practically see-through material.

"If I were a better man, I would send you away," he says. "My life is dangerous. There's always someone trying to kill me. Even if this threat has been dealt with, there will be others. You could get hurt by being close to me."

"Good thing you're not a better man." I take off his cravat, start on the buttons of his shirt. "Why?" I ask. "Why didn't you take me last night?"

"I wasn't sure if you wanted to. Or if you wanted to wait until after the wedding. You didn't—"

"I want to." I rip off the last button after it slips through my fingers for the second time.

And then he carries me to the bed.

The Shadow King, it turns out, was well worth the wait.